Player friend's advice differs heavily from forum advice

[GreatHornedOwl]

Now I know a lot of guys on this forum get plenty of action, but so does my friend, and his approach is vastly different.

He's very patient. I've seen text messages from his phone where girls have given him excuses on why they can't hang out, but he keeps talking to them and ends up banging most of them. Some he ended up dating for a while. I ask him why he sticks around when women are flaking and he says "Most of the time they're testing you to see how you react."

He also rarely gets physical right away. I've been in bars with him, and he doesn't do much kino on women, or try to escalate. He just acts normal. I said "Doesn't being aggressive shows confidence?" He said "No, it just scares them off. Women get turned on over time, in stages."

He told me he also likes to become a girl's friend before trying to sleep with them. This one I really don't understand. I told him "aren't you worried about falling in the friendzone??" He laughed and said "What's wrong with showing a girl your personality?"

I've been on this forum for years and still struggling, and my friend who is doing the opposite of what you guys say is doing just fine. I've seen this first hand for myself the chicks he's gotten.

There's a chick he's currently trying to get with. Tonight he's meeting up with her at a lounge, and she's going to be there with two of her girlfriends. I said to him earlier today "Why would you ever agree to that?? That isn't a date." He said "What's the big deal? She's just trying to see how I handle myself in a social situation around her friends."

What I notice is that what guys on this forum see as lack of interest, he just sees a sh!t test that needs to be passed.

I'm just so confused, and really don't know what kind of game I should running.

 

[2Rocky]

It works for him. He is happy with the progress so don't second guess him. You might be able to glean some of his good points and apply them to your approach.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Now I know a lot of guys on this forum get plenty of action, but so does my friend, and his approach is vastly different.

He's very patient. I've seen text messages from his phone where girls have given him excuses on why they can't hang out, but he keeps talking to them and ends up banging most of them. Some he ended up dating for a while. I ask him why he sticks around when women are flaking and he says "Most of the time they're testing you to see how you react."

He also rarely gets physical right away. I've been in bars with him, and he doesn't do much kino on women, or try to escalate. He just acts normal. I said "Doesn't being aggressive shows confidence?" He said "No, it just scares them off. Women get turned on over time, in stages."

He told me he also likes to become a girl's friend before trying to sleep with them. This one I really don't understand. I told him "aren't you worried about falling in the friendzone??" He laughed and said "What's wrong with showing a girl your personality?"

I've been on this forum for years and still struggling, and my friend who is doing the opposite of what you guys say is doing just fine. I've seen this first hand for myself the chicks he's gotten.

There's a chick he's currently trying to get with. Tonight he's meeting up with her at a lounge, and she's going to be there with two of her girlfriends. I said to him earlier today "Why would you ever agree to that?? That isn't a date." He said "What's the big deal? She's just trying to see how I handle myself in a social situation around her friends."

What I notice is that what guys on this forum see as lack of interest, he just sees a sh!t test that needs to be passed.

I'm just so confused, and really don't know what kind of game I should running.

Yep, he shouldn't change what's working for him. He likely has that confident aloofness to be aware of the bullchit and not care realizing he will get past their b1tch shields..

 

[samspade]

What I notice is that what guys on this forum see as lack of interest, he just sees a sh!t test that needs to be passed.

Some guys on this forum see EVERY thing a girl does short of fukking him as a lack of interest.

I wouldn't even call it a shyt test. Just a funny thing that a girl does, but he's right that it's an opportunity to show how he can handle himself in different situations.

The problem is that a lot of guys only want to be presented with the situations they've created in their minds, which involve 100% compliance on her part. That's a male fantasy and some guys get so invested in the dogma of "my way or the highway" that they aren't having any fun interacting with the girl/s.

Nevertheless like others said, different people have different methods that work for them, so what matters is that they're enjoying themselves and getting the results they want.

And of course if it stops being fun because of her actions, definitely eject. But I try to ask myself, is it her, or me?

 

[The Duke]

Different strokes for different folks. Some like short term gains, some prefer long term gains. Good that he recognizes what works for him.

 

[cola]

Be honest, is your friend very handsome? Because if he is, it doesn’t really matter what he does.

 

[EyeBRollin]

He’s not in control. He gets sympathy and rebound pvssy if any. He’ll get destroyed in divorce court.

 

[RangerMIke]

He's really not doing anything different than I do. Women that won't go out with me I'll still keep in touch with them, I just not going to ask them out... sometimes they ask me out. Really it all depends on the situation, I have women I used to date that I'm not dating anymore, I still keep in contact... sometime they circle back around. Nothing wrong with his approach.

It really all depends on the woman and how she behave.

I never advised anyone not to go on group dates, I've done this before... it's actually not that uncommon now a days or a woman to ask if a friend can come along... especially if it is someone I just met... totally normal. If the meetup is going well, they'll usually have some kind of secret signal for the friend to 'suddenly' have someplace to go... that happens every now and then.

I have NEVER advised a man to start putting his hands on a woman first. I don't do that either, I let her come to me, but I always try to kiss them when the date is over, because that tells you a lot.

 

[bonesmahoney]

Now I know a lot of guys on this forum get plenty of action, but so does my friend, and his approach is vastly different.

He's very patient. I've seen text messages from his phone where girls have given him excuses on why they can't hang out, but he keeps talking to them and ends up banging most of them. Some he ended up dating for a while. I ask him why he sticks around when women are flaking and he says "Most of the time they're testing you to see how you react."

He also rarely gets physical right away. I've been in bars with him, and he doesn't do much kino on women, or try to escalate. He just acts normal. I said "Doesn't being aggressive shows confidence?" He said "No, it just scares them off. Women get turned on over time, in stages."

He told me he also likes to become a girl's friend before trying to sleep with them. This one I really don't understand. I told him "aren't you worried about falling in the friendzone??" He laughed and said "What's wrong with showing a girl your personality?"

I've been on this forum for years and still struggling, and my friend who is doing the opposite of what you guys say is doing just fine. I've seen this first hand for myself the chicks he's gotten.

There's a chick he's currently trying to get with. Tonight he's meeting up with her at a lounge, and she's going to be there with two of her girlfriends. I said to him earlier today "Why would you ever agree to that?? That isn't a date." He said "What's the big deal? She's just trying to see how I handle myself in a social situation around her friends."

What I notice is that what guys on this forum see as lack of interest, he just sees a sh!t test that needs to be passed.

I'm just so confused, and really don't know what kind of game I should running.

F-ckin' righteous, first time I've come across even halfway decent info on this forum (aside from my own, of course).

Really it all depends on the situation, I have women I used to date that I'm not dating anymore, I still keep in contact... sometime they circle back around. Nothing wrong with his approach.

It really all depends on the woman and how she behave.

It's really sad how few dudes understand this.

 

[deadmasterx]

He's very patient. I've seen text messages from his phone where girls have given him excuses on why they can't hang out, but he keeps talking to them and ends up banging most of them.

I think we can see here a true indifference mindset. Most guys would "next" by blocking and cutting off all the contact. This guy's mindset is probably "Well, if she doesn't want it (now), there are others who does. Maybe another day we can do it". Patience, indifference, true confidence.

He also rarely gets physical right away. I've been in bars with him, and he doesn't do much kino on women, or try to escalate. He just acts normal. I said "Doesn't being aggressive shows confidence?" He said "No, it just scares them off. Women get turned on over time, in stages."

Going straightly for what you want is cool, shows that you got the balls. He got a safer approach, for what I can see, where he first show his personality and get to know the woman better. I think that these PUA stuff conditioned men to be like "See hot girl > approach hot girl > communicate your interest > date > ****". For what I can see, he's more like "See hot girl > approach hot girl > get to know her better, but without hiding the fact that he's sexually interested (women doesn't want to feel that you're getting sex from them, the only way to avoid that to happen is showing interest on HER) > date > ****".

Honestly, it seems to me that your friend is truly indifferent to tests, he likes new challenges and owns himself. I'd say that this is a true alpha state of mind. Nothing shake him, nothing get him butthurt and "uh flakey testy girl next her".

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Now I know a lot of guys on this forum get plenty of action, but so does my friend, and his approach is vastly different.

He's very patient. I've seen text messages from his phone where girls have given him excuses on why they can't hang out, but he keeps talking to them and ends up banging most of them. Some he ended up dating for a while. I ask him why he sticks around when women are flaking and he says "Most of the time they're testing you to see how you react."

He also rarely gets physical right away. I've been in bars with him, and he doesn't do much kino on women, or try to escalate. He just acts normal. I said "Doesn't being aggressive shows confidence?" He said "No, it just scares them off. Women get turned on over time, in stages."

He told me he also likes to become a girl's friend before trying to sleep with them. This one I really don't understand. I told him "aren't you worried about falling in the friendzone??" He laughed and said "What's wrong with showing a girl your personality?"

I've been on this forum for years and still struggling, and my friend who is doing the opposite of what you guys say is doing just fine. I've seen this first hand for myself the chicks he's gotten.

There's a chick he's currently trying to get with. Tonight he's meeting up with her at a lounge, and she's going to be there with two of her girlfriends. I said to him earlier today "Why would you ever agree to that?? That isn't a date." He said "What's the big deal? She's just trying to see how I handle myself in a social situation around her friends."

What I notice is that what guys on this forum see as lack of interest, he just sees a sh!t test that needs to be passed.

I'm just so confused, and really don't know what kind of game I should running.

Different things work for different people. The truth is you need to figure out what works for your personality and your style and then do that and work on perfecting it.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Girls with high IL don't flake on guys to "test" them. Though if your friend's strategy works, great. But, I'd be curious to peel away some layers: he may be banging chicks but are they top shelf or mid tier or lower? If a woman flakes on me I'm way too busy and have options so why would I chase? Just me though. Women are also programmed deep within their DNA to be more attracted to assertive guys who go for what they want in life and take the ball to hoop vs the timid type who don't. Just saying. You can't argue with nature, the law of the jungle, and 1000's of years of evolution. Still, it's good your friend even has a plan because most guys don't. Some of the recent "advice" I'm reading from guys here, mainly new members, is laughable and wouldn't work on their blow-up doll. Be careful who you listen to.

Cherry pick the best of the best in terms of advice and roll with it.

Good luck, brother.

 

[f(x)]

Different things work for different people. The truth is you need to figure out what works for your personality and your style and then do that and work on perfecting it.

This.

remember the A in PUA

Artist

 

[Bandolero]

Great for him.
Maybe he can learn from you to value his time, instead of raising someone's interest levels.
But this is for Men who want to aim higher in life.
If he is happy chasing, then he should proceed.
I know there is more to this world then women.

 

[SirBigBell]

Your friend is using the galant fighter approach to dating. The strategy is clearly working for him. It however isnt for everybody as it demands a high level of investment in terms of time, patience, tolerance, nonsense absorbency and taste for shyt tests. The majority of men have very limited reserves of those premium attributes, and so are willing to invest that full package towards only promising LTR prospects, not plates.

 

[Gstring]

@GreatHornedOwl
He is what AMS calls natural alpha male.

 

[Grinderman]

I'm just so confused, and really don't know what kind of game I should running.

This vibe is probably leaking out of your sub communications......

I think we can see here a true indifference mindset. Most guys would "next" by blocking and cutting off all the contact. This guy's mindset is probably "Well, if she doesn't want it (now), there are others who does. Maybe another day we can do it". Patience, indifference, true confidence.

Voila. He's outcome independent. Goes with the flow and self-amuses at the whole process.

He told me he also likes to become a girl's friend before trying to sleep with them. This one I really don't understand. I told him "aren't you worried about falling in the friendzone??" He laughed and said "What's wrong with showing a girl your personality?"

Many won't get this. The alabaster girl. The art of seduction. Stopping to smell the roses. Enjoying art. Taking your time enjoying fine wine as apposed to knocking back a cheap pinot grigio and puking down an alleyway.

Too many are willing to hop on and ravage any female with a pulse who shows interest and then drop her because she took too long to answer a text and then feel all alpha about for showing those hoes how it be done. Desperate horn bags advising young men who live with their parents to take a 3 hour round trip drive at 1am just for the chance to jump the bones of random internet potential lay (when he should be getting a job and moving out of his parents home). Men who are going through a "dry patch" being advised to fvck below their standards (dumpster dive, bang fatties and uglies ) just to satisfy their carnal drive in the process creating/adding to the delusion of these self entitled females, rather than learning to master their desires (not being a slave to their desires) saying NO to dropping below their standards, saying NO to fatties and uglies and saying NO to dropping their standards.

Patience is a virtue.

 

[metalwater]

conversation game. it usually can win, not everyone can do it. in short, it raises the girl's interest level slowly like boiling a frog. it is the typical play of the guy named 'just a friend' or the one that doesn't have a name. the way it works is that the guy that is talking the most to the girl will get the most credits. whoever has the highest credits is green-lighted.

 

[manfrombelow]

Your friend might very well be bull****ting you and you bought it.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

He told me he also likes to become a girl's friend before trying to sleep with them. This one I really don't understand. I told him "aren't you worried about falling in the friendzone??"

I think a lot of guys take the word 'friendzone' too literally.
There's nothing wrong with being friendly with women...
The problem arises when a guy starts to 'simp' (for want of a better word)

Be friendly by all means, but don't kiss their rear-end - don't change your likes/opinions to match theirs - and definitely don't get drawn into running around doing favours for them.
Being 'friendly' works fine for me - I'll happily chat a while, until a better prospect comes along, even if she doesn't seem too interested...
You never know, that positive impression can pay dividends at a later day.