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Planning to walk away from this girl

powersize

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Planning to walk away from a girl I have been meeting with since the beginning of March.

We met on Tinder - went on a dinner date, she is 24 yo 8 for me. Scheduled dates once per week, did not over texted her - in between dates (sometimes she texted me, sometimes me). We got laid on 3 or 4 date, sex was not good (i took it like ok, maybe she needs more time to get used to me). She is very childish which i kind of like, so I took it as it is. Than at some point she refused to meet on Friday without offering another date - i just replied ok and ignored. In the evening she texted me that she was just mad this day - I ignored again. Next day in the evening she texted me let's go for I walk on which I said - no, i am lazy. She started texting me tons of messages like lets go bla bla bla, sent millions on voice messages about her day - on which I said look, I do not like when you flake, be a good girl - she said ok, i will try. So we met this night, went to my place and so on. After that we texted the following week here and there and on this Friday i texted lets go somewhere after your gym - she said ok, and she will say for sure after her gym. In the evening she sends me that voice mail saying that she got invited to a house party with her friends that she did not see long time, and that they plan to drink and go on a techno party all together. I said ok and ignored her again. She said Am I mad - I say no. She texts me something later that if some of the friends will be not there she will not go - on which i ignore her again.

In the morning i see her voice mails at 3 am that she is going home, that she is drunk and smoked some stuff - i ignore her again.

Yesterday and today - silence from her.

So I am planning to move on with this one because:

1) There is a lack of respect - she did the same stuff next week and even did not apologize
2) Low interest - she did not ask for other day to meet
3) Mediocre sex and no real passion from her side
3) She keeps mentioning her ex over our last couple of dates that she broke up a year ago

I am not really mad that she wanted to hang out with her friends - she could just say sorry, i really wanna meet my old friends, lets meet tomorrow or sunday. And I will be completely cool with that. But no, she did not do it knowing that I travel early next week - so I will be back in the city next Sunday. For me it tells a lot about the girl. I did some stupid stuff by buying a vacation for both of us in couple of weeks to Austria (kind of early for a girl who did not really deserve it yet) - but ok, I will go alone anyway.

I might played my ignorance card too much here but I did my chasing in the past with other girls and nothing good happened with it, so I would rather quietly disappear from her life and focus on myself again.

What do you guys think?
 

BillyPilgrim

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Why did you start things off with a dinner date?
 

BillyPilgrim

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I always go with a coffee date, cheap drink or just a walk - this time wanted to try this one
It's ok to experiment once in a while but if you try a dinner date in the future, I wouldn't use a girl from Tinder due to their general level of entitlement. Imo you got off on the wrong foot meeting a girl from Tinder for dinner, and were playing into her frame from the beginning. It sounds like this girl is "all about herself" and you could have caught this by insisting on a more casual date and seeing if she resisted that or not.

A lot of women on Tinder are damaged goods looking to "get even" with men, or don't want to put much effort into any kind of relationship.
 
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Stanley

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I think you've got your head in the right place man.
 

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RazorRambo24

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Girls who use Tinder regularly have multiple sex partners.. The ones that don't use Tinder regularly just get back on after a breakup or to get over someone. Thus you can't take anything seriously or be too in invested.. Also stop acting childish when she says shes busy or has other plans.. You're an adult. Unless you have an abundance of women to bang, you pretty much have to remind yourself.. some pu55y is better than none..

Ultimately , If i Had to really think about it and tell you whats going on: I would say she's just using you to keep her busy until she finds someone who's more like her ex, or until her ex wants her back. Chicks that are social and outgoing/sexually and socially want to have alot of "friends". Some of these friends they sleep with.. But ultimately, she doesn't have to like you alot to sleep with you or hang out.

She considers you a "friend" clearly and you want more.. Thats all it seems like
 
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Stanley

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A lot of women on Tinder are damaged goods looking to "get even" with men, or don't want to put much effort into any kind of relationship.
This absolutely rings true.

They are there to compete with men, to get over the past, to fill the void, to have a placeholder, to spite the one that hurt them (ineffectively) and on occasion to have a casual fling. The serial tinder user 304s also read clear as day.
 

RazorRambo24

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This absolutely rings true.

They are there to compete with men, to get over the past, to fill the void, to have a placeholder, to spite the one that hurt them (ineffectively) and on occasion to have a casual fling. The serial tinder user 304s also read clear as day.
While a buncha the "normal" girls get on Tinder either because their getting back into the dating pool after a while of just focusing on themselves, getting over an ex or bad relationship, --there's also a buncha girls who just like having sex and going on dates throughout the week.

Alot of women aren't inherently different than the dudes who use Tinder lol. I think people jus expect women to be a certain way.. but the longer I live, the more I understand women are basically dudes with vaginas and tits, who are jus more emotional, more sensitive and fear alot more in life, while having some inherent nurturing and motherly qualities.. Those are the same qualities that cause a super hot girl to go for some broken tatted up druggie lowlife.. thinkin they can "fix" him.

Some girls are just more bold, less self conscious asnd more outgoing-- and those chicks we shame and call sluts cuz they enjoy sex and like expressing sexual freedom...But once you get to know these chicks and understand them, its like not a big deal lol
 

Stanley

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While a buncha the "normal" girls get on Tinder either because their getting back into the dating pool after a while of just focusing on themselves, getting over an ex or bad relationship, --there's also a buncha girls who just like having sex and going on dates throughout the week.

Alot of women aren't inherently different than the dudes who use Tinder lol. I think people jus expect women to be a certain way.. but the longer I live, the more I understand women are basically dudes with vaginas and tits, who are jus more emotional, more sensitive and fear alot more in life, while having some inherent nurturing and motherly qualities.. Those are the same qualities that cause a super hot girl to go for some broken tatted up druggie lowlife.. thinkin they can "fix" him.

Some girls are just more bold, less self conscious asnd more outgoing-- and those chicks we shame and call sluts cuz they enjoy sex and like expressing sexual freedom...But once you get to know these chicks and understand them, its like not a big deal lol
Oh I totally agree, I'm just saying the vast majority of women are on apps for the aforementioned reasons and validation.

The girls I met off tinder were beyond clear in their intentions, as was I. A lot of men forget chicks want sex too, it just plays out differently from a girls perspective than a guys. To many chumpy guys fail to realize that their image of the pious good girl is a rare thing. I got no problem with sluts since who am I to judge when I've been the male equivalent? I'm just not going to commit to them or treat them like relationship material.
 

powersize

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Girls who use Tinder regularly have multiple sex partners.. The ones that don't use Tinder regularly just get back on after a breakup or to get over someone. Thus you can't take anything seriously or be too in invested.. Also stop acting childish when she says shes busy or has other plans.. You're an adult. Unless you have an abundance of women to bang, you pretty much have to remind yourself.. some pu55y is better than none..

Ultimately , If i Had to really think about it and tell you whats going on: I would say she's just using you to keep her busy until she finds someone who's more like her ex, or until her ex wants her back. Chicks that are social and outgoing/sexually and socially want to have alot of "friends". Some of these friends they sleep with.. But ultimately, she doesn't have to like you alot to sleep with you or hang out.

She considers you a "friend" clearly and you want more..
Where I did I act childish? By demanding to behave in a good way?
 

RazorRambo24

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Where I did I act childish? By demanding to behave in a good way?
Basically ignoring her a buncha times blatantly, or responding short like 'ok" becuase she's busy with other plans. I mean I get she kinda told you she'd hang with you and changed her mind.. But it shouldn't bea big deal. If you act weird about it, or if she thinks you got upset, its only going to make you look bad.

Do you have anyone else you're seeing rn? If so, cut her off and move on if she flakes on you repeatedly.. (sets up plans and changes them or doesn' show up).. If not, I'd hold on to her and keep going out and meeting new women / using apps.. Learning not to care about a girl who jus sleeps with you is a great thing to master.. Alot of people who enjoy casual sex after soem time it's like we learn to separate any feelings or "wanting more" and we can jus look at chicks we f-c as just another friend.. and women do the same thing.. you're a friend/guy she hooked up with.. nothing more nothing less.
 

Murk

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Why are you paying for a vacation for a girl you've known 2-3 weeks?
 

powersize

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Why are you paying for a vacation for a girl you've known 2-3 weeks?
Because tickets were cheap and I tend to do some stupid stuff from time to time. That was a good example
 

Murk

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Maybe work on not doing stupid stuff? She's an ungrateful druggie with bad sex, next.
 

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powersize

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Basically ignoring her a buncha times blatantly, or responding short like 'ok" becuase she's busy with other plans. I mean I get she kinda told you she'd hang with you and changed her mind.. But it shouldn't bea big deal. If you act weird about it, or if she thinks you got upset, its only going to make you look bad.

Do you have anyone else you're seeing rn? If so, cut her off and move on if she flakes on you repeatedly.. (sets up plans and changes them or doesn' show up).. If not, I'd hold on to her and keep going out and meeting new women / using apps.. Learning not to care about a girl who jus sleeps with you is a great thing to master.. Alot of people who enjoy casual sex after soem time it's like we learn to separate any feelings or "wanting more" and we can jus look at chicks we f-c as just another friend.. and women do the same thing.. you're a friend/guy she hooked up with.. nothing more nothing less.
Cmon man - I could reply like this dating coaches teach us - no worries, reach me out when you wanna meet next time. And be a nice guy kind of. However I do not really care if I look bad or not. The thing that I care is interest level - if the girl is interested in me than I can keep it going. With all my relationships with girls I check how they behave, if they initiate conversation by themselves when I do not text, if they cannot make a date - whether they offer another day, the way they kiss me, sex itself, if they text me once they are home after date, if they ask questions about myself, if they respect me and do not do things I tell them I do not like. All that stuff maters to me and gives an understanding of how things are going.

I do talk with other girls currently but from another side I can easily do dry spell for a couple of months and focus on my stuff - so I am not desperate towards girls
 

powersize

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Maybe work on not doing stupid stuff? She's an ungrateful druggie with bad sex, next.
That is a decent advise - but doing stupid stuff is a part of my learning curve.
 

RazorRambo24

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Cmon man - I could reply like this dating coaches teach us - no worries, reach me out when you wanna meet next time. And be a nice guy kind of. However I do not really care if I look bad or not. The thing that I care is interest level - if the girl is interested in me than I can keep it going. With all my relationships with girls I check how they behave, if they initiate conversation by themselves when I do not text, if they cannot make a date - whether they offer another day, the way they kiss me, sex itself, if they text me once they are home after date, if they ask questions about myself, if they respect me and do not do things I tell them I do not like. All that stuff maters to me and gives an understanding of how things are going.

I do talk with other girls currently but from another side I can easily do dry spell for a couple of months and focus on my stuff - so I am not desperate towards girls
The problem is you don't realize how inexperienced you really are. You met a girl who's likely just sleepin around with a buncha dudes just living life, socializing alot, has alot of friends, stuff to do.. and you're showing signs that you're way too invested in her, acting like she's your girl or something.

Trust me when I say i'm being nice to you about this.
 

powersize

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The problem is you don't realize how inexperienced you really are. You met a girl who's likely just sleepin around with a buncha dudes just living life, socializing alot, has alot of friends, stuff to do.. and you're showing signs that you're way too invested in her, acting like she's your girl or something.

Trust me when I say i'm being nice to you about this.
Whenever girl I meet I assume she is ****ing around with other dudes. This one was giving me straight away the vide that she is looking for a bf, asked me what I am looking on tinder and that she is not looking for sex with random guy (of course they all say that). That is why I behaved this way

I do get what you wanna tell me - you should have just had fun with her and meet other girls at the same time, do not invest too much money and do not build any plans, I get it.
 
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