You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Perfection is contextual.perseverance said:There's no such thing as perfect, therefore there cannot be such a thing as 'the perfect date' and why would you want it to be that way? Imperfection is what makes life special. Forget about making perfect, just relax and roll with the punches and above all else just have fun.
Perfect doesn't exist.ilikecharlene said:Perfection is contextual.
I would say a perfect date simply "depends".
Do both parties feel positive at the end of it? did anything go wrong? if it's a later date (say 3rd or 4th), then both parties can plan it.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
MrNiceGuy23 said:I like the woods personally, there's a lot of nice parks near me and something about being in the forest with a woman and the moonlight shining through the darkness really turns women on.
You obviously don't go out with women much do you? Or if you do you very seldom have success to the point where they want to continue hanging out with you beyond the meal, movie, etc.BigSmooth said:MrNiceGuy23: So I had a really great time tonight. How about we take a nice stroll through the woods? I know a good place not too far from here, it's really dark and we'll have tons of privacy so no one can hear what we are doing.
Woman: *Calls 911*
Which is why I said it depends.perseverance said:Perfect doesn't exist.
A date can go really well and yet nothing materialises after it, or a date can go badly in your mind and well in her mind and BANG, you find yourself on date number two.
People who strive for perfection are destined for abject failure.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I don't think location has ever helped me on a date. It's about drinks, me being comfortable, and letting my personality come through. And I can normally do this at bars.dbx said:think you all got caught up with the word perfect.
how about just great date ideas? better than drinks or dinner sort of thing. something they'll remember.
Woah calm down there tough guy. No sense in taking a good-humored post too seriously and start to put down the other person with insults to seem more "alpha" or "Don Juanish".MrNiceGuy23 said:You obviously don't go out with women much do you? Or if you do you very seldom have success to the point where they want to continue hanging out with you beyond the meal, movie, etc.
I said in my post there are lots of parks near me, you're obviously not going to pull over to the side of the road and just walk into some random patch of woods.
I've actually had women suggest to me that we should stop by the park at night after I took them to dinner, so the only one who thinks it's creepy seems to be you; again probably because the women you take out are so creeped out before the meal ends that they end up calling a taxi to go home because they fear for their life during the ride home.
You didn't post anything to contribute the OP's reason for starting the thread. As such, you posted solely to make a jab at what I said.BigSmooth said:Woah calm down there tough guy. No sense in taking a good-humored post too seriously and start to put down the other person with insults to seem more "alpha" or "Don Juanish".
Either you can't take some light jokes, or someone DID call 911 on you. Hit a nerve did I eh? Was it pretty awkward after she made the phone call?
MrNiceGuy23 said:You didn't post anything to contribute the OP's reason for starting the thread. As such, you posted solely to make a jab at what I said.
I'm not putting you down, you made a joke implying I'm a creep, I called you out for having no game with women because the idea of going for a late night walk with a woman seemed so baffling to you.
I don't have to seem more alpha.
Nice low-key attempt at seeming condescending and "naturally" more alpha.I don't have to seem more alpha
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Whatever you do during the date, make sure you try to kiss her at the end. Otherwise you are no different to her than her cousin.dbx said:Dates that make them weak at the knees...
Suggestions?
Aren't you in a frat? That speaks for itself.BigSmooth said:As for this...
Nice low-key attempt at seeming condescending and "naturally" more alpha.
Alas... lace 'em up bud. Time to take a lap.
~ 'Merica.
That makes no sense.MrNiceGuy23 said:Aren't you in a frat? That speaks for itself.