"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Online dating = desperation

wifehunter

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“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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LimaBean

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I suppose it could be argued where the aforementioned is not true. However, the experience I've had with it seems to agree with the title. I will say, the only positive I've really seen from online dating - is the ability to effectively woo women without actually being around them. My text game manifested itself into near poetry before I finally gave up the online scene.
 

Glassguy

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I think it depends on what a person is looking for and expectations.

When I dabble in OLD, I am more "sightseeing". The expectations are ridiculously low. If I were out on a run and came across a dollar bill laying on the ground I would pick it up. I wasnt expecting to find money when I went out for the run but I am not going to pass by the chance to spend minimal effort to get it.

Thats how I perceive OLD. It can be good for a plate here and there.
 

Glassguy

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I will add that a desperate guy will be desperate no matter what the platform. OLD, nightclub/bar scene, etc.

The frame should never change.
 

wifehunter

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I suppose it could be argued where the aforementioned is not true. However, the experience I've had with it seems to agree with the title. I will say, the only positive I've really seen from online dating - is the ability to effectively woo women without actually being around them. My text game manifested itself into near poetry before I finally gave up the online scene.
Yeah...it may be only good for 'target practice'.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Glassguy

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Its a crutch for good looking or niche demand men(ethnicity, money, education). The good looking men would do much better without it though.
Thats silly thinking. As a good looking man, why wouldnt a person use all available platforms to find plates?
 

ThisNThat

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Because you can do better offline, simple.
It's kind of wash really. Less options offline, but you do better...MORE options online because you get to meet people you otherwise wouldn't meet in real life.
 

ThisNThat

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The desperation comes in is when you start to see the same women, no matter how attractive physically...on the same sites through the years...and they are showing that little green dot by their name showing they are active...daily.

Some of the same women are, sadly, across all dating platforms. So "Sexy Suzy" of Kalamazoo Mich. will be on Match., POF, OK Cupid, and other known sites across the board....and of course, still chronically single.

I've heard women say they would be on sites for month, and never meet one person face-to-face because they've so far never found anyone that would warrant meeting in person.

A few of them are spinsters, 40+ child-free types that have never been married. This kind of makes sense as no one will ever be good enough...at least in their town. They probably spend their Sat nights sipping wine and browsing the sites.
 

ThisNThat

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the options online are not as good either
Right, also...you don't get to demonstrate your social abilities in person. It's like, "He's under 6 feet, NEXT..." and it's over. In person, you approach and they are afforded the opportunity to stand there and get to know you. :)
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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stovepipe

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Desperation? NO....Different strokes for different folks.
 

skinnyguy

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Fat single moms are everyone's backup when they aren't getting laid
 

ubercat

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Online dating is ok training wheels. As long as you don't take it seriously. And as long as once you've had the practice you take it back to real.
 

DreamAgain

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Unless you have awesome pictures, I've found that the time-invested/reward ratio is simply not worth it.

Plus, I kind of felt like a loser when I tried it, like I was incapable of getting anything in real life. This is just my personal feeling and its illogical, but nevertheless I couldn't shake it.
 

synergy1

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Where I live, its the only way I meet women. Rural areas at age 35 are harder to meet women, and if you do, they let themselves go and have kids. It is a good way to get outside of ones social circle, especially as ones group tends to be busier with their significant others. But my opinion is this - overall women on tinder and other sites aren't very good quality. It takes a lot of time to meet the worthwhile ones.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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