"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Online dating = desperation
- Thread starter wifehunter
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
LimaBean
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I suppose it could be argued where the aforementioned is not true. However, the experience I've had with it seems to agree with the title. I will say, the only positive I've really seen from online dating - is the ability to effectively woo women without actually being around them. My text game manifested itself into near poetry before I finally gave up the online scene.
Glassguy
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I think it depends on what a person is looking for and expectations.
When I dabble in OLD, I am more "sightseeing". The expectations are ridiculously low. If I were out on a run and came across a dollar bill laying on the ground I would pick it up. I wasnt expecting to find money when I went out for the run but I am not going to pass by the chance to spend minimal effort to get it.
Thats how I perceive OLD. It can be good for a plate here and there.
When I dabble in OLD, I am more "sightseeing". The expectations are ridiculously low. If I were out on a run and came across a dollar bill laying on the ground I would pick it up. I wasnt expecting to find money when I went out for the run but I am not going to pass by the chance to spend minimal effort to get it.
Thats how I perceive OLD. It can be good for a plate here and there.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
Yeah...it may be only good for 'target practice'.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Glassguy
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Thats silly thinking. As a good looking man, why wouldnt a person use all available platforms to find plates?
This is what people used to think in the 90s, and early 2000's. Now post 2010...it's become widely accepted.
It's kind of wash really. Less options offline, but you do better...MORE options online because you get to meet people you otherwise wouldn't meet in real life.
The desperation comes in is when you start to see the same women, no matter how attractive physically...on the same sites through the years...and they are showing that little green dot by their name showing they are active...daily.
Some of the same women are, sadly, across all dating platforms. So "Sexy Suzy" of Kalamazoo Mich. will be on Match., POF, OK Cupid, and other known sites across the board....and of course, still chronically single.
I've heard women say they would be on sites for month, and never meet one person face-to-face because they've so far never found anyone that would warrant meeting in person.
A few of them are spinsters, 40+ child-free types that have never been married. This kind of makes sense as no one will ever be good enough...at least in their town. They probably spend their Sat nights sipping wine and browsing the sites.
Some of the same women are, sadly, across all dating platforms. So "Sexy Suzy" of Kalamazoo Mich. will be on Match., POF, OK Cupid, and other known sites across the board....and of course, still chronically single.
I've heard women say they would be on sites for month, and never meet one person face-to-face because they've so far never found anyone that would warrant meeting in person.
A few of them are spinsters, 40+ child-free types that have never been married. This kind of makes sense as no one will ever be good enough...at least in their town. They probably spend their Sat nights sipping wine and browsing the sites.
Right, also...you don't get to demonstrate your social abilities in person. It's like, "He's under 6 feet, NEXT..." and it's over. In person, you approach and they are afforded the opportunity to stand there and get to know you.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
DreamAgain
Master Don Juan
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- Sep 17, 2016
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Unless you have awesome pictures, I've found that the time-invested/reward ratio is simply not worth it.
Plus, I kind of felt like a loser when I tried it, like I was incapable of getting anything in real life. This is just my personal feeling and its illogical, but nevertheless I couldn't shake it.
Plus, I kind of felt like a loser when I tried it, like I was incapable of getting anything in real life. This is just my personal feeling and its illogical, but nevertheless I couldn't shake it.
Where I live, its the only way I meet women. Rural areas at age 35 are harder to meet women, and if you do, they let themselves go and have kids. It is a good way to get outside of ones social circle, especially as ones group tends to be busier with their significant others. But my opinion is this - overall women on tinder and other sites aren't very good quality. It takes a lot of time to meet the worthwhile ones.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.