pikachu69 said:
It's my fault really, i got flamed on my other thread for acting nervous and desperate towards the end of the date.
it's just frustrating for me cos it's hard work picking up, not the act of picking up but finding HBs and them actually speaking to you. cold approaches aren't good for self esteem if you keep getting knocked back and i was fortunate to end up at a proper plush house party full of sophisticated gorgeous women 2 weeks ago. that won't happen again anytime soon so im kind of in a bind where it comes to picking up, although im going to the bars where they usually hang out tomorrow but they're quite stuck up in that environment so opening is not easy.
it's a shame these HBs cut u off where they wont take your call or just want to be friends so u can meet their friends. if i call to just be a friend, they think im pursuing still. when its over u might as well friendzone to try to get to their friends but you're cut off.
likewise i'm more angry than normal cos i had 3 options, i f'd up with the 1st one, this 1 above i went on a date with, and the 3rd who was really into me at that same party isn't responding to my date arrangement for some reason and i have no idea why.
i know u shouldn't try to guess what's going in their mind, just accept they're not interested, but it doesn't make sense how she was so into me, and even 2 days ago replied (mutedly) to my text yet didn't even bother to reply to the date text yesterday, it just seems rude, which tells me she's seeing someone already.
even if she is, how many times do girls come back to contact u later on like a month down the line?
even the above average HB has so many options that you'll just be forgotten about. i dont want to be kept around for attention so i'll give the other 1 (not this 1) 1 more call and maybe a voice message then cut it off. i need to learn to respect myself more.
Though being nervous is not good, it's not a deal breaker.
I believe rather then you not conforming to set of rules, the reality is alot simplier. She has other shi* going on.
I've been nervous with girls in the past and it's not harmed me, but then again i've been out with girls and preformed perfectly and their interest has still been low.
Think of it like this:
Telling a girl a joke.
It's a lot similier; if a girl has high interest she laughs at your stupid jokes, if the girl has low interest she will look at you like a two headed alien even if you lay down your ultimate joke.
I have found that to be 100% true. And similier for yourself.
No matter what you do, if the girl is just not that into you, it wont work.
On the other hand if the girl has high interest, she will forgive and ignore or not even notice blips.
How do you meet a girl with high interest. It is really simple; you open the numbers. Thinking too deeply about this stuff, just set's constraints on your mind.
You need to remove all the garbage like slotting into conformity and simply go out there and have fun. That is another point, if you take this shi* too seriously, you come across desperate and weak. You need to flow, become natural, have it all come together, relax and have fun! People are attracted to other people who look like the know how to have fun and have a postive mental attitude, it's magnetic.
Don't get hung up on the rejections, it's probably the worst thing you can do, and don't think you need to preform monkey tricks either.
Try to build your confidence, become comfortable in yourself and learn to really love yourself like an arogant as*hole. Then go talk to some chicks, if they blow you in you say "her loss". Dont dwell on it, because that shi* can fuc* you up.
Your going through a low point, it's normal to feel a little down and defeated. But trust me on this, everyguy goes through this, EVERYONE.
Alot of guys talk about mystery on here, the guy was a long haired skinny, emo looser and couldn't get a fuc* if his life depended on it. But he developed internally more than externally.
And that is the secret, become comfortable in your own skin, try to remove the fear, the negative stigma of talking to girls. Have fun, believe in yourself and try to maintain a postive mental attitude, it is far sexier then any PUA tips and tricks, which are designed to help you to find your inner confident Alpha guy anyway and are simply props designed to help you create false confidence in talking to a girl.
Just do it, relax have fun. Take the mick out of girls, like you do your male friends, dont force it, become natural, have a good time. This i feel is your problem, you expect an outcome, because you've done a set of rules and followed a guide. This isn't Ikea!
I believe your a smart guy, probably a large IQ. And I know, that can be a burden to some guys in the dating scene, why? Because they look at dating like reading a text book on how to programme a PC, if you follow ABC, you get EFG. It isn't that simple and you will find, when you discover your inner self respect and learn to really love who you are to a degree where by your almost arrogant, it will all flow.
You will develop standards, you will judge a women accordingly, you will become the prize, not because a forum tells you to be one, because internally you know you ARE ONE!
All the tips, tricks and advice wont work if you dont have the internal stuff going on. A guy I know opened up 100 girls and got nothing out of it, why? Because his internal state is wrong, he hasn't discovered his inner game and that is more important than a sticking plaster which are PUA tricks or tips.
Find your inner game first and for-most.