Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Observations on this forum

Plinco

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I'm sure I'm not the only one who has noticed this. Whenever people complain about about something, people generally agree on what the problems are. Whenever members give newbies basic advice, people generally agree on basic concepts. However, whenever an abstract solution gets hammered out, that's when some members get at each others throats. Is this a result of different philosophies? Different cognitive preferences?

Is there a way to solve this problem or is this a permanent feature of this forum?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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jimwho

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Describe a hammered out abstract solution, << Oxymoron. I think?
 

Willie Naylor

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I'm sure I'm not the only one who has noticed this. Whenever people complain about about something, people generally agree on what the problems are. Whenever members give newbies basic advice, people generally agree on basic concepts. However, whenever an abstract solution gets hammered out, that's when some members get at each others throats. Is this a result of different philosophies? Different cognitive preferences?

Is there a way to solve this problem or is this a permanent feature of this forum?
I say all the time, even to my real-life friends, when people ask for advice, they're looking for 'advice' that aligns with how they feel about the situation.

People are only interested in what they WANT to hear. Nobody's interested in hearing what they NEED to hear.
 

Plinco

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Describe a hammered out abstract solution, << Oxymoron. I think?
Explained by the poster, not always clear to the reader. Maybe hammered out is not the correct term.
 

Plinco

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I say all the time, even to my real-life friends, when people ask for advice, they're looking for 'advice' that aligns with how they feel about the situation.

People are only interested in what they WANT to hear. Nobody's interested in hearing what they NEED to hear.
This is true in many cases
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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mjb3617

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I think the problem stems from the fact a lot of men don't want to do the hard work of really looking at themselves and making a change. Believing that a change needs to happen and taking action is much harder than asking for advice to make themselves feel better.

Accepting the true reality of the world we live in and doing the deep work of improving oneself is the hardest pill to swallow for a lot of guys.
 

Plinco

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I think the problem stems from the fact a lot of men don't want to do the hard work of really looking at themselves and making a change. Believing that a change needs to happen and taking action is much harder than asking for advice to make themselves feel better.

Accepting the true reality of the world we live in and doing the deep work of improving oneself is the hardest pill to swallow for a lot of guys.
This is true in many cases.

People also have a tendency to project themselves when giving advice too. I'm guilty of that.
 

Zimbabwe

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This is human nature and you can't really change that, this forum has a lot of really good advice you just need to do some digging.
 

Epicenter

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I'm sure I'm not the only one who has noticed this. Whenever people complain about about something, people generally agree on what the problems are. Whenever members give newbies basic advice, people generally agree on basic concepts. However, whenever an abstract solution gets hammered out, that's when some members get at each others throats. Is this a result of different philosophies? Different cognitive preferences?

Is there a way to solve this problem or is this a permanent feature of this forum?
There might be many ways to solve the issue. For example you only are allowed to post if you meditated 20 minutes already.

Mostly we post to rant not to make reasonable contributions.

Another approach is to get at things scientifically and artistically. That way the post does not come from a egoistical standpoint.

Emotional control and humor can help.

So improve yourself and you will improve the forum or so.
 

mjb3617

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This is true in many cases.

People also have a tendency to project themselves when giving advice too. I'm guilty of that.
So am I. I've only been on my RP journey for about 8 months so I'll still freshly unplugged. I was BP for all of my life and unplugged late in life. I'm 35.

However, in that span of time, I've learned a lot about myself and what I need to work on. It's not easy and the goal is to be better than you were yesterday. Slow progress is better than no progress at all.

I'm by no means an expert on the subject, but I can confidently say the deep work required to truly improve yourself is the most critical to success.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Bokanovsky

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Explained by the poster, not always clear to the reader. Maybe hammered out is not the correct term.
I think you've answered your own question. Abstract points are unclear by definition and thus subject to multiple interpretations.
 
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