Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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New Ideas...

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CapiCrimini

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i've been here for over a year now... with my extensive post counts and lack of better things to do I've read 90% of the posts posted in that time, as well as posts going back about 2-3years before I came... probably about 40% of them....

In this time I never found anything deemed worthy of a revelation... I mean even Pooks newest threads are nothign new, nothing that hasn't been said already.

I admit I am humble and have no solution nor answer, nor any "new" info or tips of my own. In fact the biggest revelations can be found to have been made before, mainly because there are no secrets, only answers that can be found through experience.

Thats why these tips can never be lost. Because they will always be found again.

But, now impart your wisdom oh Don Juan, impart your mind from soul. You know the ways that work, you know the things we must do. So why not try doing new things, random things, spontaneous fun things, things that can blow up in our faces...

I figure we have the DJ bootcamp, which because of my surrounding is of no use to me. So if some others are up to it, lets start something new, Bootcamp II,

You know how to get women, so how bout a bootcamp about having fun and becoming active? A bootcamp about enjoying life and living it to the fullest?

Would you guys be intrested or am I blowing smoke up my a$s?

I by no means am qualified to create a whole program by myself, but if others volunteer I think this could work.?

?
?

~Capi...
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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CapiCrimini

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I realize as you may after reading my post, my original post idea totally warped by the end... caught me off guard as well :p
 
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One on One

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It sounds like a noble objective, but everyone has different lives and different goals so I don't think it's possible. I think it would be a better idea for everyone on this forum to send me $100 and then I will pool the money together and get everyone a cookie!
 
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CapiCrimini

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I think it would be a better idea for everyone on this forum to send me $100 and then I will pool the money together and get everyone a cookie!
Click to expand...
how big of a cookie are we talking?
 
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Eternal

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Originally posted by CapiCrimini
how big of a cookie are we talking?
Click to expand...
Go to the mall and get one of those 3 foot round cookies for $20.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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CapiCrimini

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Go to the mall and get one of those 3 foot round cookies for $20.
Click to expand...
hmmm... so do I deduct this from the $100 and only send One on One $80?
 
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Eternal

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Originally posted by CapiCrimini
hmmm... so do I deduct this from the $100 and only send One on One $80?
Click to expand...
Nah...Go get 5 of them.
 
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CapiCrimini

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Screw the cookies, go find the chick at the mall that makes those.
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wait... I'm confused... have sex with the cookies and eat the women... your sure about this one? If you say so...

*capi leaves computer and heads towards mall*
 
E

Eternal

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Originally posted by CapiCrimini
*capi leaves computer and heads towards mall*
Click to expand...
Oh my god! He got off the computer! :eek: :eek:
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

C

CapiCrimini

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Oh my god! He got off the computer!
Click to expand...
Keep your applause silent. I only made it to the end of my plastic chair matt when things started to get freaky... i had to go back... I swear someone was following me... that and I found out that my skin had grafted to my computer chain.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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rgeere

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Originally posted by CapiCrimini
Keep your applause silent. I only made it to the end of my plastic chair matt when things started to get freaky... i had to go back... I swear someone was following me... that and I found out that my skin had grafted to my computer chain.
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That's disappointing, I figured by now you would have shoved your computer off of it's desk to place that chick down from the mall.

Well, can't blame a guy for trying. I was right though, you would be back ... :D
 
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CapiCrimini

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well I did put her head in the fridge, but with the chair grafted to my ass by means of my own piss hardening and making be become SPINNY-CHAIR MAN... dun dun dun.... , well after that, i went out ****ed a few cookies and then ate most of her, But the damn chair on my back would only allow me to carry her head home...

besides that... there's curfew and the fact all the malls within walking distance are closed at this hour. Though I did meet a few women today.

I have to turn in...

SPINNY-CHAIR MAN SHALL BE BACK.... da da dun dunnnnnnn....[reverberating echo continually fadingly slwoly until a complete halt ]
 
R

rgeere

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Originally posted by CapiCrimini
well I did put her head in the fridge, but with the chair grafted to my ass by means of my own piss hardening and making be become SPINNY-CHAIR MAN... dun dun dun.... , well after that, i went out ****ed a few cookies and then ate most of her, But the damn chair on my back would only allow me to carry her head home...

besides that... there's curfew and the fact all the malls within walking distance are closed at this hour. Though I did meet a few women today.

I have to turn in...

SPINNY-CHAIR MAN SHALL BE BACK.... da da dun dunnnnnnn....[reverberating echo continually fadingly slwoly until a complete halt ]
Click to expand...

I'd never get laid acting this way ...
 
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CapiCrimini

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I'd never get laid acting this way ...
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Which is why I love this board. It gives me freedom to act stupid and say the most ignorant ****. Which keeps me sane in real life, along with keeping me....
 
J

jakeyboy

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wow. this is one of the most topsy turvy ridiculous threads ever. mildly entertaining though. to see some of the suggestions people can come up with when they're bored!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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