Negging is emotional abuse

[Atom Smasher]

@Atom Smasher this is so spot on, wow! The entire post but the above quoted for emphasis.

I've posted here a few times how the best men have that perfect blend of 'beta' and 'alpha,' the best of both. But many men want nothing to do with beta, they believe it's a bad thing, when it's so not, it actually 'adds to' a man's appeal and attractiveness.

By beta I mean kindness and caring, and by alpha I mean dominant, bold, a certain arrogance and superiority.

And negging/teasing, that arrogance or rather playful arrogance comes from their alpha side, but it's done in good fun, and women know that or should, and it very much "adds to."

I also acknowledge your previous response to me and agree that a woman should be demonstratimg that she's worthy of a man's time; his subtle non-verbal demand she do so reflects his value and self-worth, which are also highly attractive.

Anyway, thank you for voicing this; some posters here advocate for never listening to what women say, but perhaps since you, a man, said it, they will pay attention.

Edit: Perhaps @BeExcellent could chime in with her thoughts, I'd be interested in hearing another woman's perspective.

I just wouldn’t use the term “beta” to describe those qualities. Beta is using those admirable qualities exclusively, in which case they turn into manipulative, weak qualities.
Being kind, polite and respectful to people who have earned it are all ingredients of being “alpha”.
I know you know that and it’s really a matter of semantics.

 

[Mike32ct]

When I first heard negging labeled as such I said to myself “why have they relabeled flirting?!?! - facking millennials…”

Lol. In all fairness, Mystery, a Gen X guy, created the term.

 

[Mike32ct]

The ability to playfully tease your date is either in your DNA or it's not.

I have seen guys painfully try to tease a woman when their personality is just not conducive to it. It's like watching a goldfish trying to hit a 90 MPH fastball. Cringe worthy. Most guys who are good at it are naturals and are outgoing, funny, observant, and charismatic.

This. I don’t believe it is learnable, despite what the commercial gurus say. It is either your natural personality, or it isn’t. It’s totally cringe when a guy tries to fake it.

I can rib a guy friend or my brother a bit. That’s just male bonding. But teasing women is completely foreign to me (and my highly introverted personality) and feels very weird.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

It’s like talking to a woman during sex or slapping that bootay- you either get it or you don’t.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

This. I don’t believe it is learnable, despite what the commercial gurus say. It is either your natural personality, or it isn’t. It’s totally cringe when a guy tries to fake it.

I can rib a guy friend or my brother a bit. That’s just male bonding. But teasing women is completely foreign to me (and my highly introverted personality) and feels very weird.

If you know anyone who has cats, practice messing with them. It's fun, their personalities are somewhat like women's, and there's no rejection risk involved

 

[Mike32ct]

If you know anyone who has cats, practice messing with them. It's fun, their personalities are somewhat like women's, and there's no rejection risk involved

That works. I love cats. Don’t have any but always play with them when I visit someone who does.

 

[2Rocky]

As I've gotten older I've noticed my own parents "negging" me. Particularly when I'm in the limelight. Once I realized it, I started calling them on it, especially when they brought up one little thing or worse yet made up something.

Growing up like that I DID learn self deprecation and to tolerate teasing. I can agree and amplify and then turn just about anything back on the person who is trying to make me look bad. As a result I told my youngest daughter when my father did the same to her, that I was not going to do that as her father, particularly about something she was passionate about.

Just about everything we do to win a woman's favor is manipulative. it is to create a result in our favor. Some folks just take it farther than others. No one's an angel in this subject period...

 

[bat soup]

All,

A friendly reminder that negging is emotional abuse.

If Your Partner Keeps Comparing You To Other People, You Might Be Getting Negged

Two experts explain.

www.womenshealthmag.com

The media wants men to stop being leaders. The media wants us to stop negging.

The first time I met the woman who was to be my wife, I immediately negged her. I wasn’t even trying to get her. She ended up marrying me, so I don’t think she minded the negging.

Around that time, my soon-to-be wife was getting phone numbers from male passengers every few days. None of them negged her.

Never stop being a man. Never apologize for being a man. Ignore the media’s constant propaganda against men

That is all.

Men wouldn't do it if it didn't work, so it's their own damn fault for being backwards.