"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Need help gaming a shy 21 year old hb 8.5

Niterider450

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I met this tall hot chic about a month ago. I am very attracted to her and she seems interested but she is extremely shy and acts as if she has been abused all her life. She has very bad body language and is afraid to open up? I am trying to take baby steps with her. Any advice?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Warrior74

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Sounds like too much work to me. I'd let it simmer on the back burner (aka baby steps) while I did other more important things/women.
 

apprenticedj

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Warrior has it right, don't put a ton of effort into this one. Work the long game with her, the seed is planted, now slowly water it. This isn't a problem if you're banging other girls, you're mind will be occupied and your needs will be fulfilled.
 

Niterider450

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I got several other girls I'm currently talking to. I am just very attracted to her.
 

Victory Unlimited

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Niterider450,


We understand that you're attracted to her---BUT, you also said she's interested in you. Then you went on to describe her as shy, closed off, bad body language, and uncommunicative.

So my question is:

Where is the evidence that you've found that SHE'S actually interested in YOU?

If the evidence is all in your imagination, then I suggest that's where you LEAVE your interest in HER---until she shows you otherwise.


V.U.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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VladPatton

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Drop it, she's damaged goods and you're going to need extra time to get anywhere with her. In that time frame you can be going out with a chick that's definitely into you, bangs you, and is mad fun. I say leave it alone and don't sign up to be her psychiatrist.
 

Malcontent

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VladPatton said:
Drop it, she's damaged goods and you're going to need extra time to get anywhere with her. In that time frame you can be going out with a chick that's definitely into you, bangs you, and is mad fun. I say leave it alone and don't sign up to be her psychiatrist.

^^Yes. You could be setting yourself up for white knightedness if you head down the road of trying to get her to change her behavior. Don't accept the challenge she presents.
 

Niterider450

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Victory Unlimited said:
Niterider450,


We understand that you're attracted to her---BUT, you also said she's interested in you. Then you went on to describe her as shy, closed off, bad body language, and uncommunicative.

So my question is:

Where is the evidence that you've found that SHE'S actually interested in YOU?

If the evidence is all in your imagination, then I suggest that's where you LEAVE your interest in HER---until she shows you otherwise.


V.U.
She does talk to me and smile at me while I'm talking to her and her facial expressions appear to be positive while I'm talking to her.
 

VikingKing

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Hang out with her alone and see what happens. You haven't been on one date? If so, what happened?

I mean all you said is you met a hot tall chic a month ago. Ok good for you. But if you dont give details, how can you get advice?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Niterider450

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noobolgy said:
Hang out with her alone and see what happens. You haven't been on one date? If so, what happened?

I mean all you said is you met a hot tall chic a month ago. Ok good for you. But if you dont give details, how can you get advice?
I have not got her on a date yet. Like I said she is very timid and shy and she always looks down and is slumped over and never looks anyone in the eye(except me) so something has hurt her along the way. That's why I;m taking baby steps with her.
 
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