"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Need help gaming a shy 21 year old hb 8.5

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Niterider450

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I met this tall hot chic about a month ago. I am very attracted to her and she seems interested but she is extremely shy and acts as if she has been abused all her life. She has very bad body language and is afraid to open up? I am trying to take baby steps with her. Any advice?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Warrior74

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Sounds like too much work to me. I'd let it simmer on the back burner (aka baby steps) while I did other more important things/women.
 
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apprenticedj

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Warrior has it right, don't put a ton of effort into this one. Work the long game with her, the seed is planted, now slowly water it. This isn't a problem if you're banging other girls, you're mind will be occupied and your needs will be fulfilled.
 
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Niterider450

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I got several other girls I'm currently talking to. I am just very attracted to her.
 
Victory Unlimited

Victory Unlimited

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Niterider450,


We understand that you're attracted to her---BUT, you also said she's interested in you. Then you went on to describe her as shy, closed off, bad body language, and uncommunicative.

So my question is:

Where is the evidence that you've found that SHE'S actually interested in YOU?

If the evidence is all in your imagination, then I suggest that's where you LEAVE your interest in HER---until she shows you otherwise.


V.U.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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VladPatton

VladPatton

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Drop it, she's damaged goods and you're going to need extra time to get anywhere with her. In that time frame you can be going out with a chick that's definitely into you, bangs you, and is mad fun. I say leave it alone and don't sign up to be her psychiatrist.
 
Malcontent

Malcontent

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VladPatton said:
Drop it, she's damaged goods and you're going to need extra time to get anywhere with her. In that time frame you can be going out with a chick that's definitely into you, bangs you, and is mad fun. I say leave it alone and don't sign up to be her psychiatrist.
Click to expand...

^^Yes. You could be setting yourself up for white knightedness if you head down the road of trying to get her to change her behavior. Don't accept the challenge she presents.
 
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Niterider450

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Victory Unlimited said:
Niterider450,


We understand that you're attracted to her---BUT, you also said she's interested in you. Then you went on to describe her as shy, closed off, bad body language, and uncommunicative.

So my question is:

Where is the evidence that you've found that SHE'S actually interested in YOU?

If the evidence is all in your imagination, then I suggest that's where you LEAVE your interest in HER---until she shows you otherwise.


V.U.
Click to expand...
She does talk to me and smile at me while I'm talking to her and her facial expressions appear to be positive while I'm talking to her.
 
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VikingKing

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Hang out with her alone and see what happens. You haven't been on one date? If so, what happened?

I mean all you said is you met a hot tall chic a month ago. Ok good for you. But if you dont give details, how can you get advice?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Niterider450

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noobolgy said:
Hang out with her alone and see what happens. You haven't been on one date? If so, what happened?

I mean all you said is you met a hot tall chic a month ago. Ok good for you. But if you dont give details, how can you get advice?
Click to expand...
I have not got her on a date yet. Like I said she is very timid and shy and she always looks down and is slumped over and never looks anyone in the eye(except me) so something has hurt her along the way. That's why I;m taking baby steps with her.
 
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