Ringleader41
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2011
- Messages
- 326
- Reaction score
- 2
Well at first she would just comment on my photos, but this time she actually messaged. I'm confused because she has my number, or at least she did.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
She's missing the attention you gave her, her ego needs feeding - as it is a little squashed due to you not fawning all over her. She's confused why are you aren't busy making a fuss of her, making her feel good, and she stills sees that there should be some life left in your servitude to her if she can tempt you back a little with a tiny amount of reciprocated contact. Oldest trick in the book, the honey trap to break your NC resolve.Ringleader41 said:Well at first she would just comment on my photos, but this time she actually messaged. I'm confused because she has my number, or at least she did.
Chick used to like me, but I ffed it up by not making a move and was an ass to her later on. I decided to do no contact because it was time to move on and I had caught oneitis. Chick would only comment on my facebook pics, but I just ignored it. The no contact lasted about a month and half too.seethehoop said:Mostly agree with the previous post but I would like to know who went NC you or her. Also why the NC was put up in the first place. Fall out, split up etc and what was your relationship before the NC. Friend, FB, GF etc.
Can't really give you a proper answer without details. If you want one based on what you have put then ignore it and move on. if she contacts you again and you are not emotionally involved then respond if you feel its going to be of value to you do so. If not then use some strength and ignore it.
Also if you set up the NC and the time you wanted to give has not elapsed then don't respond until it has. Otherwise you will be cheating ya self like a fat guy who eats choccy biccis and hides the wrappers down the sofa.
The only thing I would do is text her, but she would do most of the texting. I would only text a sentence and she would text a paragraph. I would wait like hours to reply and try not to text too much because I know the consequences of that. Other than that, I know not to act beta.Skalioppe said:She's missing the attention you gave her, her ego needs feeding - as it is a little squashed due to you not fawning all over her. She's confused why are you aren't busy making a fuss of her, making her feel good, and she stills sees that there should be some life left in your servitude to her if she can tempt you back a little with a tiny amount of reciprocated contact. Oldest trick in the book, the honey trap to break your NC resolve.
Ignore, continue with NC unless she contacts you begging for you - and then probably ignore again.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You answered your own question. You decided to NC for a REASON. I'm sure this reason was valid. As previously posted, she probably misses the attention you gave her and obviously wants some of it back. MOVE ON like you said, or have fun feeling like shvt once your oneitis returns.Ringleader41 said:Chick used to like me, but I ffed it up by not making a move and was an ass to her later on. I decided to do no contact because it was time to move on and I had caught oneitis. Chick would only comment on my facebook pics, but I just ignored it. The no contact lasted about a month and half too.
That's fine. Be cordial. Act like a man. She's going to try and suck you back in. But hopefully, at some point, you will be talking to other girls, if you're not already. Then, you won't even think twice about her.Ringleader41 said:okkayyy, but the chick shows up to the frat house a lot, so I'm going to have to come across her again![]()
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.