Ringleader41
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2011
- Messages
- 326
- Reaction score
- 2
Well at first she would just comment on my photos, but this time she actually messaged. I'm confused because she has my number, or at least she did.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
She's missing the attention you gave her, her ego needs feeding - as it is a little squashed due to you not fawning all over her. She's confused why are you aren't busy making a fuss of her, making her feel good, and she stills sees that there should be some life left in your servitude to her if she can tempt you back a little with a tiny amount of reciprocated contact. Oldest trick in the book, the honey trap to break your NC resolve.Ringleader41 said:Well at first she would just comment on my photos, but this time she actually messaged. I'm confused because she has my number, or at least she did.
Chick used to like me, but I ffed it up by not making a move and was an ass to her later on. I decided to do no contact because it was time to move on and I had caught oneitis. Chick would only comment on my facebook pics, but I just ignored it. The no contact lasted about a month and half too.seethehoop said:Mostly agree with the previous post but I would like to know who went NC you or her. Also why the NC was put up in the first place. Fall out, split up etc and what was your relationship before the NC. Friend, FB, GF etc.
Can't really give you a proper answer without details. If you want one based on what you have put then ignore it and move on. if she contacts you again and you are not emotionally involved then respond if you feel its going to be of value to you do so. If not then use some strength and ignore it.
Also if you set up the NC and the time you wanted to give has not elapsed then don't respond until it has. Otherwise you will be cheating ya self like a fat guy who eats choccy biccis and hides the wrappers down the sofa.
The only thing I would do is text her, but she would do most of the texting. I would only text a sentence and she would text a paragraph. I would wait like hours to reply and try not to text too much because I know the consequences of that. Other than that, I know not to act beta.Skalioppe said:She's missing the attention you gave her, her ego needs feeding - as it is a little squashed due to you not fawning all over her. She's confused why are you aren't busy making a fuss of her, making her feel good, and she stills sees that there should be some life left in your servitude to her if she can tempt you back a little with a tiny amount of reciprocated contact. Oldest trick in the book, the honey trap to break your NC resolve.
Ignore, continue with NC unless she contacts you begging for you - and then probably ignore again.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You answered your own question. You decided to NC for a REASON. I'm sure this reason was valid. As previously posted, she probably misses the attention you gave her and obviously wants some of it back. MOVE ON like you said, or have fun feeling like shvt once your oneitis returns.Ringleader41 said:Chick used to like me, but I ffed it up by not making a move and was an ass to her later on. I decided to do no contact because it was time to move on and I had caught oneitis. Chick would only comment on my facebook pics, but I just ignored it. The no contact lasted about a month and half too.
That's fine. Be cordial. Act like a man. She's going to try and suck you back in. But hopefully, at some point, you will be talking to other girls, if you're not already. Then, you won't even think twice about her.Ringleader41 said:okkayyy, but the chick shows up to the frat house a lot, so I'm going to have to come across her again![]()
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.