Ringleader41
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2011
- Messages
- 326
- Reaction score
- 2
Well at first she would just comment on my photos, but this time she actually messaged. I'm confused because she has my number, or at least she did.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She's missing the attention you gave her, her ego needs feeding - as it is a little squashed due to you not fawning all over her. She's confused why are you aren't busy making a fuss of her, making her feel good, and she stills sees that there should be some life left in your servitude to her if she can tempt you back a little with a tiny amount of reciprocated contact. Oldest trick in the book, the honey trap to break your NC resolve.Ringleader41 said:Well at first she would just comment on my photos, but this time she actually messaged. I'm confused because she has my number, or at least she did.
Chick used to like me, but I ffed it up by not making a move and was an ass to her later on. I decided to do no contact because it was time to move on and I had caught oneitis. Chick would only comment on my facebook pics, but I just ignored it. The no contact lasted about a month and half too.seethehoop said:Mostly agree with the previous post but I would like to know who went NC you or her. Also why the NC was put up in the first place. Fall out, split up etc and what was your relationship before the NC. Friend, FB, GF etc.
Can't really give you a proper answer without details. If you want one based on what you have put then ignore it and move on. if she contacts you again and you are not emotionally involved then respond if you feel its going to be of value to you do so. If not then use some strength and ignore it.
Also if you set up the NC and the time you wanted to give has not elapsed then don't respond until it has. Otherwise you will be cheating ya self like a fat guy who eats choccy biccis and hides the wrappers down the sofa.
The only thing I would do is text her, but she would do most of the texting. I would only text a sentence and she would text a paragraph. I would wait like hours to reply and try not to text too much because I know the consequences of that. Other than that, I know not to act beta.Skalioppe said:She's missing the attention you gave her, her ego needs feeding - as it is a little squashed due to you not fawning all over her. She's confused why are you aren't busy making a fuss of her, making her feel good, and she stills sees that there should be some life left in your servitude to her if she can tempt you back a little with a tiny amount of reciprocated contact. Oldest trick in the book, the honey trap to break your NC resolve.
Ignore, continue with NC unless she contacts you begging for you - and then probably ignore again.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You answered your own question. You decided to NC for a REASON. I'm sure this reason was valid. As previously posted, she probably misses the attention you gave her and obviously wants some of it back. MOVE ON like you said, or have fun feeling like shvt once your oneitis returns.Ringleader41 said:Chick used to like me, but I ffed it up by not making a move and was an ass to her later on. I decided to do no contact because it was time to move on and I had caught oneitis. Chick would only comment on my facebook pics, but I just ignored it. The no contact lasted about a month and half too.
That's fine. Be cordial. Act like a man. She's going to try and suck you back in. But hopefully, at some point, you will be talking to other girls, if you're not already. Then, you won't even think twice about her.Ringleader41 said:okkayyy, but the chick shows up to the frat house a lot, so I'm going to have to come across her again![]()
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.