Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Natural Attraction vs Generated Attraction

apotheosis

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I think it's different for young girls.
They tend to only care about looks. Just the way they're conditioned nowadays I guess.
Epstein (and many other rich guys like him) was powerful but he could only get laid with 18 year olds by paying them money lol. They weren't remotely attracted to his ugly old ass lol. My brother was in a fairly successful band (locally) and it didn't help him get girls. They certainly weren't throwing themselves at him! It's hard to argue against that reddit post tbh. Certainly it's the same as what I see/experience.
I do think it's probably true of old women, though. Power and masculinity is attractive to them
 

RangerMIke

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Anyone that knows me will tell you that I'm a believer in Doc Love. Everything that is out there now from Roosh-V, AMS, Cory Wayne... et. al. ad infinitum comes from Doc Love. But Doc Love is in a business, and what sells is dudes trying to fix 'relationships' I think it's a waste of time pursuing relationships with women, now Doc Love will say correctly that men should not chase relationships, but he knows men want this... I disagree... I think you can not pretend you don't want relationships, you have to ACTUALLY not care about relationships, PERIOD. Another place where I disagree with the great one is what he calls 'interest level'. He sets interest at 50% before you have a chance. IMO Attraction and interest are two different things.

There really is nothing you can do about attraction, you either have what a woman wants or you don't. Being 'attractive' is a long process which involves self improvement. It means you are being the best version of yourself. I'm 52, there isn't a goddamn thing I can do about that. If I come across a younger woman that doesn't like older guys, that is the end of that. However, I can be the best damn 52 year old possible by not smoking, drinking to excess, working out, eating right, wearing clothes that fit.... None of this guarantees success with any particular woman, but it does make me more attractive to women in general that are not bothered by my age.

Interest is a function of behavior. And interest can negate attraction. She can be attracted to you, but if you behave like a chick, that attraction will not help you. The higher her attraction to you the more you can get away with. But this is like milk, the longer it goes on, the more it sours, and eventually weak behavior will end things. You drive up interest in NORMAL women, by behaving like a man, exerting self-control, confidently pursuing what you want, and being a little selfish which will trigger in a chick then need to do stuff to get and keep your attention.

Another place where Doc Love is wrong, is he's operating from a framework that was applicable in 80s and 90s but today, mostly because of social media, OLD, and increased communication... it is IMPOSSIBLE for a man to be mysterious... so this doesn't help you anymore. You go out with a chick and 15 minutes after you drop her off, she's on her smart phone and there are literally hundreds of women feeding her information on you. If you date a lot, she will connect with someone you dated in the past... and everything your ex knows... she will know. She can run background checks on you and she will know just about every fvcking thing there is to know about you instantly... she will know your age, and problems you might have had in the court system, you net income... everything. Human females have evolved to screen men out... when you date a chick, she is looking for reason NOT to like you. OLD gives her immediate validation, so validating a woman doesn't help you anymore... and it also gives her LOTS of perceived options.

SOOOO what does this mean today. Women are picker, they really are, trust me I've dated women through 3 decades, going on 4 and things are harder now than in the 80s and 90s. Guys that are just now starting to date... man.... you have no fvcking idea how easy it was in the 80s and 90s. If I met a chick and she was giving my high indicators of attraction, I could bang her that night if that's what I wanted... Now... well... it's almost impossible to make something happen right away. To be honest, I can not say for certain if it's just the culture we are in now, or my age, but I hear this a lot from men in their 30s that are not successful either... when I was in my 30s, hooking up with a chick was as easy as just going out and trying.
 

Atom Smasher

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The above remarks only makes sense to nerds but it is wholly incorrect and grossly misleading.

The only constant attraction for women is power, nothing else matters.

If u r in a setting like a nightclub, then the one with the most power is good looking men.

If u r in a setting that's political, then the most attractive men there are those that holds significant sway. They hold the most power.

If u r in a sports setting, then the most attractive men will be those who has glory in the sports arena. They too hold the most power.

If u r in a gang prone area or setting, then the men with the most authority within that sphere will be the most attractive - the powerful.

If u r in a club that plays live music, then the most attractive men there will be those who sings and play the instruments.

You hv power, you will hv women, the more larger ur sphere of influence, the more bigger the attraction.

You can be the most handsome man in the sports arena and if you are not a player but just a fan then u r nothing compared to the ugliest sportsman.
A good example of this would be the table-hopping magician at a restaurant. The girl can be totally wrapped up in conversation with her date, when suddenly the magician comes around and completely steels her attention and turns the guy she’s with into an instant doofus.

The magician has her squealing with delight, displaying (to her) a powerful suspension of physical laws and humor. The guy, who a minute ago was her focus of attention, is now an impotent onlooker while the magician is displaying power and humor.
 

YourGreatestFear

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You are taking the fat girls approach to game.

Fat girls be like “Yeah losing weight, dieting, self love - all that stuff is great and all but can’t I just sexually escalate and try to turn guys on by insinuating that I am very good at bl0wjobs?”

There is a place for fat chicks who are good with bl0wjobs, and that is desperate guys.

No matter how good a fat chick becomes at giving bl0wjobs, she is still a fat chick.

Every now and then you’ll get lucky with a desperate woman - just enough to keep you going.

But you’ll never attract effortless abundance from really hot chicks that’s aren’t completely desperate.

Instead of focusing too much on your verbal game (the Male equivalent of a low end fat chick trying to develop better blow job skills), you should focus on your value such as career, physical fitness, and social status/connections and social influence.

That’s where most of a man’s value is at.

Don’t be surprised if a few months from now, you find yourself banging a bunch of fat chicks. You are lowering yourself to their wavelength. The two of you will find each other and validate one another.

Instead of desperately being on the prowl constantly twirling her tongue at every random stranger, that fat chick is better off going to the gym and within a years time, perhaps even becoming hot and pretty and before you know it, guys are pursuing her.

AMS appeals to you because he doesn’t preach about becoming greater than a male 5 or 6. He knows most guys want to take short cuts. And the ultimate short cut of all is pua game.....aka fat chick bl0wjob skills.
You are missing a big point. Fat chick still could get many guys as long as she is attractive enough to get them horny. And for women, it works the same way, except it is much easier to get a woman horny for you (if you know how) and it is much less related to your physical attractiveness (though muscles/style/face could help) and more about the emotional aspect of the interaction. Being a greater man wouldn't help you if you don't know how to interact with a woman and being non-needy. Women don't choose whom to **** based on logic. They do it based on emotions and you can affect her emotions and perception of you.

Men and women aren't the same, forget this equality bs, it isn't feminism forum.
 

YourGreatestFear

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how do you do that if she isn't remotely physically attracted to you?
Give me some examples of the lines you use
What do you mean "lines"? Being horny is a physiological reaction. Women became horny when you touch them or when they see diсk. Even if you are ugly. A man could have some difficulties getting aroused if a woman is unattractive. He wouldn't even have a boner. It is different for women. As long as you are looking more a human than a monkey and she allows you to touch her she would become wet. If you dominate her, command her, etc she would be crazy wet. Even if you are balding 60 years old fatso and she is a Playboy model. But women have sex not because they are horny. They are different from men. They are attracted to physically attractive men not because their pussies become wet only from model-looking guys, they always pursue something else. Status, money, emotions, validation, etc. Sex for them is just something meant to get something else. The same goes for men to some extent, but we are much more driven by our horniness and it is easier for us to get validation just by having sex. Prostitution would be almost impossible if women were choosy when it comes to making their pussies wet. I was with some hookers and talked to them - even old fat men are still able to make hot women wet and horny and pleasure them in bed with the skill. It is a proven fact. Making woman horny is easy, what is hard is to make it so she accepted you before that. You show her your diсk, touch her ***** and she is already wet unless she is frigid. But the problem is that you need to get her consent first, you can't just show your **** or touch random women.
The analogy also applies to the OP. Spam approaching chicks is not actually how you stop from being needy and desperate. Making money, working out, networking with people who have access to women, building your influence, and cultivating social status is actually how you develop the social acuity, EQ, and VALUE to interact women without being needy.
To get women you should know how to get women. Guys like Elon Musk have crazy success in life, but still are beta cucks when it comes to women. Your neediness comes from a much deeper place than just your success in life. Many social outcasts, losers, and criminals have ***** come to them effortlessly. To become less needy you need to change yourself on a fundamental level, you can't really force it from the outside.
 
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Atom Smasher

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I have found that "generated attraction" becomes a non-issue when a man simply forges himself into his best self. I always say "takes the hammer and chisel to himself".

The challenge here is that most men (and that includes most, but not all men here on SS), have no concept of forging themselves into their best selves. It means rising above your current station in life, and believing you can improve even without any evidence supporting that.

It's dogged determination to become one's highest self. Most men (and again, most men here) are content to be who they are, trying to manufacture attraction through strategies and mechanisms.

The fact is that especially for younger guys, who you are is far beneath who you can become. When I first came to SoSuave, that was me. Just saying "this is who I am" and thinking I couldn't change for the better. The great tragedy of our Western society is that there is no socially accepted rite of passage wherein society declares a boy to be a man. This would be something like some African and maybe South American tribes who tie vines to teenage boys and command them to dive off a tower. The vines stretch and prevent a damaging fall, but the boys must overcome the terror. Once they do, they are accepted as men.

So many men in the West are just boys in men's bodies, and it's not their fault at all. It's our feminized educational system and societal pressured which molded them long ago. The fault lies with our fathers and grandfathers who abdicated their role as leaders out of fear of rejection by women (and fear of loss of votes).

These are the men who come to this site wringing their hands over this one woman who is rejecting them. They are here to be taught, not to be ridiculed. This is their hospital, and they must be made to get out of bed immediately and learn to walk, but not with ridicule, unless they don't listen and act.

This site can make a boy (in a man's body) into a man if he just applies what is taught here. I'm living proof. I was utterly hopeless and utterly naive about women. Now my inbox gets flooded with requests for advice. How can this be?

What is taught here? Let's take body language. Take one day of the week and observe your body language and start to make subtle changes. Take the next day and observe and focus on making small-talk with strangers. Each day of the week, focus on another principle that is taught here, and then cycle through each week. Observe yourself, but don't judge yourself. Take fitness. Devise a fitness program and start. Are you fat and out of shape? Go outside and walk 10 steps out and 10 back. Next day, 11 steps and so on until you're running.

It's all about steady, incremental, tiny improvements. The tactics taught here are nothing more than training wheels to get you balanced.

Ask yourself: "Am I an exceptional man who deserves an exceptional lady?" Most of you can't say you are. You want an exceptional lady, but you don't understand that you are completely invisible to them, and they to you, just like I was 12 years ago.

Are you really a well-developed, authentic man, or are you just some shlub like I was who pines away for a nice woman and can't understand why all he sees are slvts and fatties?

If you become YOUR OWN best version of yourself, there is no issue of having to try to attract women. Instead you have an abundance of interest from a better class of woman and it becomes pretty obvious.

If you've read this far, you are reading about the evolution of a guy who was more clueless than most guys who come here as noobs. I was seemingly hopeless. I came to a fork in the road and decided to completely disrupt my reality as a loser and ignore that reality, and act as if I were that highly-developed man. There was absolutely no evidence that I could do it, nor did I know what I was even aspiring to, so I chose to become a better "me" every day. I had already given up on women, so it wasn't that I thought I could ever be attractive to them. I just thought that maybe I will at least be able to handle my life better with the outside chance I might find a barely tolerable women one day.

One of the best thing I ever did was decide to judge women. This was my turning point. That's a shorthand way of saying that I held them accountable for their words and actions, and expressed obvious disapproval for bad behavior, with all women, including family. This isn't always verbal. A disgusted look and/or turning the back is a punch in the stomach to most women. The result is that you become mean, abusive and hated, right? BY NO MEANS! The result is that you become friendly, approachable and attractive. Women are craving a man who keeps them in their place and whom they can look up to.

Are you a man who women look up to? Doubtful. Average is your mortal enemy. Average = invisible.

All this manufacturing attraction is ridiculous. Become a well-rounded man and women practically throw themselves at you. I'm 62 and it still happens all the time, everywhere I go in fact. I pick and choose from the subset of women who like my type. No man can be universally attractive as women can be.

What's the reward for taking the hammer and chisel to yourself? In my case I've got a gorgeous, submissive yet intelligent fiance. Zero drama and virtually no problems, just maybe a slight miscommunication a couple times. Who can ask for more than that? This former absolute loser scored himself one of the upper 2%.

Forget lines, pua techniques and the like. Just design who you want to be, and design your life, and attain it tiny bit by tiny bit.

Don't be average. Average is death in this game. Average is being stagnant and confused. Do you go out with clean shoes? Women assign enormous importance to clean shoes. After she looks at your eyes, she looks at your shoes and reads volumes into who you are. Are you neatly dressed even if casual? Are you working out, even if moderately (that's all I do). Do you have hobbies other than video games? Are you adjusting your body language? Are you making small-talk and fun everywhere you go? Do you carry yourself as a confident leader?

A man who learns to do these simple things as a matter of habit has all the bases covered. Look at my signature: "Assume a virtue if you have it not".

The great thing about being a man is that unlike most women, we are able to morph ourselves into something much better. We have a massive capacity to improve, but it takes pain and resolve.

This former loser did it, and If I can, almost anyone can. The thing that stops most men is that they can't even conceive of themselves in this role. That's why we need to defy our "reality" and assume the virtues that we know will make us the highest version of ourselves.

Becoming your best self is all about gaining the respect of people, not just women. We should aspire to be men who are influential with both men and women. In fact, men first. Yes, I said it.

Why are so many of you going after the table scraps when you could be seated at the banquet table? It's nothing more than perception and resolve to by the best YOU. You don't have to make yourself better than the guys you see who seem to have it made. You just need to make yourself better than the guy you were yesterday. Nothing more. Do this and like me, you will chuckle at how you used to be concerned about how to attract women. No more hand-wringing, no more trying to figure out what's wrong. Just abundance.

"Assume a virtue if you have it not.
William Shakespeare
 
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I've seen a lot of you all discussing this topic. I think it's pretty important and deserves it's own thread.

So we all know that it's easier when women have a natural attraction towards you. They don't string you along, they don't play their little attention/validation games, and they make it very easy for you to sleep with them.

But is that to say you should only deal with women who have a high attraction level towards you? I've seen two different perspectives on it, from Roosh V and AMS.

Roosh V:
"Don’t waste your time trying to create attraction. Instead, find a girl who is already naturally attracted to you."

But AMS basically says:
"You guys only want to fvck women who have an initial high interest in you? If so, go ahead and unpledge your $5, cause you're wasting your time. The whole point of Alpha Male Strategies is to fvck b!tches who are ON THE FENCE. Anyone can fvck a girl with high interest. If you're only limiting yourself to high interest b!tches, you're leaving a whole lot of @ss on the table. I'd say about 60% of the women you meet are going to have an initial low interest. Learn to fvck that girl that sees you as a 5, or 6."

This goes into what I was saying about raising interest. I want to know how to raise a woman's interest. I think I agree with perspective B a bit more.... But I'll need to keep improving/getting in the field until I can get it there.

But I wanted to know, what do you all think?
The problem with RooshV's take is that most guys will have a tough time finding a girl who is highly attracted to him.

The problem with AMS's take is that it will lead to naive guys wasting a huge amount of time pursuing girls with low interest, resulting in cynicism and then burnout.

So both strategies are designed to fail (for most guys).
 

Atom Smasher

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Imagine walking around in your day to day and 20% of women are obviously attracted. This is entirely possible.
 
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Let's post some stats. I'm pretty familiar with and have good success in the nightspots with the most attractive women. These are medium sized venues which get absolutely packed on weekend nights, with a solid selection of talent.

On a slow night, I might be approached by a couple of girls and maybe double digits will show clear interest. On a better night, upwards of a dozen or more will approach and maybe a couple dozen show clear interest. These numbers are astronomical compared to most guys, at the very least top 5%, probably more like top 1%. Probably a majority of guys will never be approached romantically by a woman in their lifetime, much less by multiple women in a single night.

Think about how many women pass through a prime spot on a weekend night even if it's a smaller venue. Easily 100. That means that only 25% at most show clear interest (strong not ambiguous IOI's or approach). This is for a guy who is top 1 to top 5% in generating attraction.

For guys lower in the hierarchy, but still in the top 20%, most will not get anything more than an occasional glance or smile in the overwhelming majority of situations.

I'm trying to think of a single friend or wingman who was ever approached by even a single attractive woman in her 20's. I can't even think of one, and this is over the course of over 12 years in the game. I'm not saying it's never happened, I'm simply saying I can't recall such a situation off the top of my head.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Man bashing is a feminist way of battle. Look it up its a feminine state and you do it almost in all your posts. Instead of actually educating the lesser.

Dude on Twitter tried to call out rollo recently and looked like a MAN BOOB.
Feminist are normally going to attack and erode a masculine image. Its automatic for them.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Almonte it means what it says. Im saying all this "generating" attraction is what it is.
Its mind stuff.

Attraction is there or its not. In that moment.
Generating attraction is a fancy way of saying im "negotiating" it.

I know this guy who is a dirt bag to your standards but will literally talk to ANY female. Including in hollywood. Is he attractive? Hell no.
Does he do it? Hell yes he does and he doesn't think about "attraction generation" or Man Bashing.
I get it those things aren't even in his mind. And i bet his honesty and security within himself strangely attract some of the babes.
 

Focal core

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Why waste time on women in the fence? Its a no brainer, the next time she seing something flashy along the way you're done, and that time you waste are better off building a solid foundation with a girl that are truly into you.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I've seen a lot of you all discussing this topic. I think it's pretty important and deserves it's own thread.

So we all know that it's easier when women have a natural attraction towards you. They don't string you along, they don't play their little attention/validation games, and they make it very easy for you to sleep with them.

But is that to say you should only deal with women who have a high attraction level towards you? I've seen two different perspectives on it, from Roosh V and AMS.

Roosh V:
"Don’t waste your time trying to create attraction. Instead, find a girl who is already naturally attracted to you."

But AMS basically says:
"You guys only want to fvck women who have an initial high interest in you? If so, go ahead and unpledge your $5, cause you're wasting your time. The whole point of Alpha Male Strategies is to fvck b!tches who are ON THE FENCE. Anyone can fvck a girl with high interest. If you're only limiting yourself to high interest b!tches, you're leaving a whole lot of @ss on the table. I'd say about 60% of the women you meet are going to have an initial low interest. Learn to fvck that girl that sees you as a 5, or 6."

This goes into what I was saying about raising interest. I want to know how to raise a woman's interest. I think I agree with perspective B a bit more.... But I'll need to keep improving/getting in the field until I can get it there.

But I wanted to know, what do you all think?
Nick mate, you're cherry picking AMS quotes.

Firstly, take everyone, field test, and see what works. Secondly, discard anything that doesn't bring ROI. Finally, revisit it later once you get down a system of your own.

AMS is on about purpose & & & choosing signals. Not cold approach. I do cold approach but, in the words of Ambi, "I don't chase. I replace."


Refrain from being dogmatic. Take everyone from mystery RSD Tyler, Rooshv, Rollo, etc. And field test everything. ToddV too. Finally, see what results + the lifestyle they live. Do you know want Rooshv lifestyle? 40+ driving north America no wife, gf or kids?

Fan of Rollo but, he doesn't offers solutions. He rants at Rooshv from the comfort of playing house and calls out mgtow and rsd. He's not Infield. He is a coach at best. He posts from the castle walls of marriage, married 8months in of dating epiphany phase despite being red pill, knowing smv a. He's a great man at breaking down gender dynamics but would he stunt in the club today? Doubts. If he was in the current era, he would struggle IMHO in the current era. Epiphany phase wife be on social media today. How would it workout today? It's something he never battled. It's game on hard mode today but, the counter balance is the options are endless.

Exercise common sense. Think for yourself.

Free thinking FTW!

Learn from all sources but know thyself. Know what you want, where you are going, and what life you want to live.

YouTube Sergio Sorkin (I think). It's a burner ToddV channel. He uploaded past digital products. Still, go Infield. The solution is Infield.

It's also dependent on what you want. I am not seeking ltr. If you are, my advice likely won't help you but, acquire options. Then, you can pick from options and pursue thereafter which could help you.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Man bashing is a feminist way of battle. Look it up its a feminine state and you do it almost in all your posts. Instead of actually educating the lesser.

Dude on Twitter tried to call out rollo recently and looked like a MAN BOOB.
That's called gyno. Tell tale sign of low T.

Fan of Rollo. I just wish he could provide solutions and less mgtow or rsd rants from the castle walls of marriage and white picket fence.

Feminism is a great indication of inability to compete. A classic example is, male feminists or as Peterson calls them, weasels.
 

nicksaiz65

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Nick mate, you're cherry picking AMS quotes.

Firstly, take everyone, field test, and see what works. Secondly, discard anything that doesn't bring ROI. Finally, revisit it later once you get down a system of your own.

AMS is on about purpose & & & choosing signals. Not cold approach. I do cold approach but, in the words of Ambi, "I don't chase. I replace."


Refrain from being dogmatic. Take everyone from mystery RSD Tyler, Rooshv, Rollo, etc. And field test everything. ToddV too. Finally, see what results + the lifestyle they live. Do you know want Rooshv lifestyle? 40+ driving north America no wife, gf or kids?

Fan of Rollo but, he doesn't offers solutions. He rants at Rooshv from the comfort of playing house and calls out mgtow and rsd. He's not Infield. He is a coach at best. He posts from the castle walls of marriage, married 8months in of dating epiphany phase despite being red pill, knowing smv a. He's a great man at breaking down gender dynamics but would he stunt in the club today? Doubts. If he was in the current era, he would struggle IMHO in the current era. Epiphany phase wife be on social media today. How would it workout today? It's something he never battled. It's game on hard mode today but, the counter balance is the options are endless.

Exercise common sense. Think for yourself.

Free thinking FTW!

Learn from all sources but know thyself. Know what you want, where you are going, and what life you want to live.

YouTube Sergio Sorkin (I think). It's a burner ToddV channel. He uploaded past digital products. Still, go Infield. The solution is Infield.

It's also dependent on what you want. I am not seeking ltr. If you are, my advice likely won't help you but, acquire options. Then, you can pick from options and pursue thereafter which could help you.
Hey fam. I'm still out in the field. Grinding out my Cold Approaches and working my way up.

I like AMS. I totally agree with the Self Improvement and on purpose, and I appreciate Choosing Signals. But I just can't get behind waiting a week to call, or not cold approaching at all. I'm more of a Todd V type of guy in that respect.

I honestly think all Todd V stuff is really solid, it produces good results. He tells you to go to the gym too lol. I like his breakdowns, they make a lot of sense when I apply his concepts in the field.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Hey fam. I'm still out in the field. Grinding out my Cold Approaches and working my way up.

I like AMS. I totally agree with the Self Improvement and on purpose, and I appreciate Choosing Signals. But I just can't get behind waiting a week to call, or not cold approaching at all. I'm more of a Todd V type of guy in that respect.
Same. I do more complicated pickup. ****ty logistics. Gyms sets, chick's with parents, that baeeeeee who is working etc. The probability is stupid low. Choosing signals and IOIs are layups. It's good to push boundaries.

I honestly think all Todd V stuff is really solid, it produces good results. He tells you to go to the gym too lol. I like his breakdowns, they make a lot of sense when I apply his concepts in the field.
+1

I still miss the non pc, wild wild west era of pickup. ToddV never was as in consistent in rsd. He put content out sparingly but dropped bangers. Lots of insights. I still never seen better irl than rsd Julien. He nailed down the dark triad skills in pickup. Full blown Machiavellian on STERIODS. Married now lulz but if you went full retard humping everything around the globe or not for a lack of effort, ride on playboy!

Did you check free tour?

How's school? Diet? Gym?
 
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