Nice post. This forum is like a microcosm of society. Most guys come here looking like overcompensating losers trying to puff up their chests as if they were the first of their kind. But we've seen them come and go throughout the years. Hundreds, if not thousands. And if you engage with one of them, you yourself will look like a 15 year old boy. It's a low level of behavior that explains why they ever went on google and typed in the magical words "How to get girls" in the first place. But then when they come here and get torn a new one by the veteran guys, they quickly realize that this forum isn't even about girls. It's about men. Getting girls are a positive side effect of being a man.I have found that "generated attraction" becomes a non-issue when a man simply forges himself into his best self. I always say "takes the hammer and chisel to himself".
The challenge here is that most men (and that includes most, but not all men here on SS), have no concept of forging themselves into their best selves. It means rising above your current station in life, and believing you can improve even without any evidence supporting that.
It's dogged determination to become one's highest self. Most men (and again, most men here) are content to be who they are, trying to manufacture attraction through strategies and mechanisms.
The fact is that especially for younger guys, who you are is far beneath who you can become. When I first came to SoSuave, that was me. Just saying "this is who I am" and thinking I couldn't change for the better. The great tragedy of our Western society is that there is no socially accepted rite of passage wherein society declares a boy to be a man. This would be something like some African and maybe South American tribes who tie vines to teenage boys and command them to dive off a tower. The vines stretch and prevent a damaging fall, but the boys must overcome the terror. Once they do, they are accepted as men.
So many men in the West are just boys in men's bodies, and it's not their fault at all. It's our feminized educational system and societal pressured which molded them long ago. The fault lies with our fathers and grandfathers who abdicated their role as leaders out of fear of rejection by women (and fear of loss of votes).
These are the men who come to this site wringing their hands over this one woman who is rejecting them. They are here to be taught, not to be ridiculed. This is their hospital, and they must be made to get out of bed immediately and learn to walk, but not with ridicule, unless they don't listen and act.
This site can make a boy (in a man's body) into a man if he just applies what is taught here. I'm living proof. I was utterly hopeless and utterly naive about women. Now my inbox gets flooded with requests for advice. How can this be?
What is taught here? Let's take body language. Take one day of the week and observe your body language and start to make subtle changes. Take the next day and observe and focus on making small-talk with strangers. Each day of the week, focus on another principle that is taught here, and then cycle through each week. Observe yourself, but don't judge yourself. Take fitness. Devise a fitness program and start. Are you fat and out of shape? Go outside and walk 10 steps out and 10 back. Next day, 11 steps and so on until you're running.
It's all about steady, incremental, tiny improvements. The tactics taught here are nothing more than training wheels to get you balanced.
Ask yourself: "Am I an exceptional man who deserves an exceptional lady?" Most of you can't say you are. You want an exceptional lady, but you don't understand that you are completely invisible to them, and they to you, just like I was 12 years ago.
Are you really a well-developed, authentic man, or are you just some shlub like I was who pines away for a nice woman and can't understand why all he sees are slvts and fatties?
If you become YOUR OWN best version of yourself, there is no issue of having to try to attract women. Instead you have an abundance of interest from a better class of woman and it becomes pretty obvious.
If you've read this far, you are reading about the evolution of a guy who was more clueless than most guys who come here as noobs. I was seemingly hopeless. I came to a fork in the road and decided to completely disrupt my reality as a loser and ignore that reality, and act as if I were that highly-developed man. There was absolutely no evidence that I could do it, nor did I know what I was even aspiring to, so I chose to become a better "me" every day. I had already given up on women, so it wasn't that I thought I could ever be attractive to them. I just thought that maybe I will at least be able to handle my life better with the outside chance I might find a barely tolerable women one day.
One of the best thing I ever did was decide to judge women. This was my turning point. That's a shorthand way of saying that I held them accountable for their words and actions, and expressed obvious disapproval for bad behavior, with all women, including family. This isn't always verbal. A disgusted look and/or turning the back is a punch in the stomach to most women. The result is that you become mean, abusive and hated, right? BY NO MEANS! The result is that you become friendly, approachable and attractive. Women are craving a man who keeps them in their place and whom they can look up to.
Are you a man who women look up to? Doubtful. Average is your mortal enemy. Average = invisible.
All this manufacturing attraction is ridiculous. Become a well-rounded man and women practically throw themselves at you. I'm 62 and it still happens all the time, everywhere I go in fact. I pick and choose from the subset of women who like my type. No man can be universally attractive as women can be.
What's the reward for taking the hammer and chisel to yourself? In my case I've got a gorgeous, submissive yet intelligent fiance. Zero drama and virtually no problems, just maybe a slight miscommunication a couple times. Who can ask for more than that? This former absolute loser scored himself one of the upper 2%.
Forget lines, pua techniques and the like. Just design who you want to be, and design your life, and attain it tiny bit by tiny bit.
Don't be average. Average is death in this game. Average is being stagnant and confused. Do you go out with clean shoes? Women assign enormous importance to clean shoes. After she looks at your eyes, she looks at your shoes and reads volumes into who you are. Are you neatly dressed even if casual? Are you working out, even if moderately (that's all I do). Do you have hobbies other than video games? Are you adjusting your body language? Are you making small-talk and fun everywhere you go? Do you carry yourself as a confident leader?
A man who learns to do these simple things as a matter of habit has all the bases covered. Look at my signature: "Assume a virtue if you have it not".
The great thing about being a man is that unlike most women, we are able to morph ourselves into something much better. We have a massive capacity to improve, but it takes pain and resolve.
This former loser did it, and If I can, almost anyone can. The thing that stops most men is that they can't even conceive of themselves in this role. That's why we need to defy our "reality" and assume the virtues that we know will make us the highest version of ourselves.
Becoming your best self is all about gaining the respect of people, not just women. We should aspire to be men who are influential with both men and women. In fact, men first. Yes, I said it.
Why are so many of you going after the table scraps when you could be seated at the banquet table? It's nothing more than perception and resolve to by the best YOU. You don't have to make yourself better than the guys you see who seem to have it made. You just need to make yourself better than the guy you were yesterday. Nothing more. Do this and like me, you will chuckle at how you used to be concerned about how to attract women. No more hand-wringing, no more trying to figure out what's wrong. Just abundance.
"Assume a virtue if you have it not.
Eventually if a guy sticks here long enough, he learns to act like an actual man instead of a little boy going around puffing up his chest and causing drama, complaining about girls, or asking how he can best supplicate. It's like this site is daddy day care making up for what society should have taught them.
But we live in a feminized society, hence all the passive aggressiveness from new members on this forum. The loudest guys wouldn't say a peep in real life. They are probably completely docile and get picked on for their lunch money. So they overcompensate over here, thinking noone can see through them.
Welcome to sosuave in 2020. It's pretty much daddy day care for boys who's mothers failed them.