"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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My interest is too high

phil2015

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Hi

Quick question;

What is the best/easiest way to lower ones own interest level in a particular girl?

I'm in a situation, where I'm dating a girl who has flaked a few times, is constantly busy and seems to communicate with frustrating slowness.

I haven't gone/done anything AFC or needy yet, but if I'm honest I do miss her etc inside.....

Is there any way I can alter this and feel less needy/insecure?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Heisenberg

Don Juan
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My post, and everyone below mine, are going to say some variation of the same two words:

spin. plates.
 

Building_and_Loan

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As someone who's been there too many times myself, my only advice is this:

Only care about her as much as she cares about you. It sucks and it's tough, but it's life.
 

El Payaso

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phil2015 said:
Hi

Quick question;

What is the best/easiest way to lower ones own interest level in a particular girl?

I'm in a situation, where I'm dating a girl who has flaked a few times, is constantly busy and seems to communicate with frustrating slowness.

I haven't gone/done anything AFC or needy yet, but if I'm honest I do miss her etc inside.....

Is there any way I can alter this and feel less needy/insecure?
No girl is ever "too busy" or texts slowly when she has a high IL in a guy.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Get pissed off at yourself for being a wimp. I'm not saying this as an insult by the way. You need to feel like a wimp or loser because of this situation, get pissed off at the world, at her, and yourself because she took your dignity away by implanting herself in your mind. Then use that anger as motivation to make you change yourself into a better man. A stronger one. A tougher one.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Bokanovsky

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phil2015 said:
Hi

Quick question;

What is the best/easiest way to lower ones own interest level in a particular girl?
Getting a life and other interests beyond girls. Spinning more plates.
 

salinechow

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Only because nobody said this. Go to the gym and exhaust yourself. You will gain perspective through clarity that the gym provides. It clears your head, makes you feel stronger, and snaps that "cycle" of worship that can develop from meeting a girl that really moves you.

I actually have a case of oneitis developing myself and going to the gym helps me in all the ways I just described. You can actually get to tired to give a f^ck.

O and spin plates. I am actually having a harder time of this now that I really found a girl to connect with but I know its necessary and when you do it its still really fun.
 
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