"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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My interest is too high

phil2015

Senior Don Juan
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Hi

Quick question;

What is the best/easiest way to lower ones own interest level in a particular girl?

I'm in a situation, where I'm dating a girl who has flaked a few times, is constantly busy and seems to communicate with frustrating slowness.

I haven't gone/done anything AFC or needy yet, but if I'm honest I do miss her etc inside.....

Is there any way I can alter this and feel less needy/insecure?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Heisenberg

Don Juan
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My post, and everyone below mine, are going to say some variation of the same two words:

spin. plates.
 

Building_and_Loan

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As someone who's been there too many times myself, my only advice is this:

Only care about her as much as she cares about you. It sucks and it's tough, but it's life.
 

El Payaso

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phil2015 said:
Hi

Quick question;

What is the best/easiest way to lower ones own interest level in a particular girl?

I'm in a situation, where I'm dating a girl who has flaked a few times, is constantly busy and seems to communicate with frustrating slowness.

I haven't gone/done anything AFC or needy yet, but if I'm honest I do miss her etc inside.....

Is there any way I can alter this and feel less needy/insecure?
No girl is ever "too busy" or texts slowly when she has a high IL in a guy.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Get pissed off at yourself for being a wimp. I'm not saying this as an insult by the way. You need to feel like a wimp or loser because of this situation, get pissed off at the world, at her, and yourself because she took your dignity away by implanting herself in your mind. Then use that anger as motivation to make you change yourself into a better man. A stronger one. A tougher one.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Bokanovsky

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phil2015 said:
Hi

Quick question;

What is the best/easiest way to lower ones own interest level in a particular girl?
Getting a life and other interests beyond girls. Spinning more plates.
 

salinechow

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Only because nobody said this. Go to the gym and exhaust yourself. You will gain perspective through clarity that the gym provides. It clears your head, makes you feel stronger, and snaps that "cycle" of worship that can develop from meeting a girl that really moves you.

I actually have a case of oneitis developing myself and going to the gym helps me in all the ways I just described. You can actually get to tired to give a f^ck.

O and spin plates. I am actually having a harder time of this now that I really found a girl to connect with but I know its necessary and when you do it its still really fun.
 
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