"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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My girlfriend..the female version of a DJ..your thoughts

shark

Senior Don Juan
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Yah it started off where she seemed to be the total AFC. I used my DJ tactics and she became the chasing, AFC girl. Well we were together and after some months I stop being too tough of a DJ and started showing a little more effection and being nicer while still keeping my distance, and making her chase a little.

Anyway, more and more she is starting to turn into the DJ. She seems to ALWAYS be busy..and she is where I am usually pretending (i do a good job of it). She'll go somehwhere and not care if people are with her she'll just go and have fun doing whatever. She doesn't call or msg me excessivly. She acts upset when i do something mean or wrong, but she'll never let it ruin her night TOO much. Only anti-DJ thing of her is she'll apoligze whenever she is "kinda" wrong, as where if I am wrong or w/e..i NEVER EVER apoligize and get away with it.

Now how do I handle her? Do I take someones advice who said it's OK to let her to have some of the power for some time..but then i have to take it back which balanaces the power in our relationship?

OH YEAH--im thinking about this b/c i was talking to one of my friends (not good friend) and he was her x-boyfriend and he said somtin like do you ever talk on the phone, and how she NEVER would initiate phone calls or convo.

Advice needed..thanks guys
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Tazman

Master Don Juan
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Never stop being DJ, most times it will backfire. Compromise is good sometimes, but you should maintain your position of dominance at all times without being too "controlling."
 

shark

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I feel like i am mainting my power, however, before it was me with power + her kinda chasing me more. Now theres not much chase on her part and DJ techniques from both of us..

I feel like were both acting cold towards eachother.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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