"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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My ex is all of a sudden calling me again??

bignick79

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What's up Don Juan-ers!

I have a little situation here that has me slightly perplexed. I broke up win my ex about a month ago. She was having issues with me "leering" at other girls. That was her perception. I had a different opinion, we all look...as long as I don't touch or hit on a girl right in front of her, what harm am I causing? I ended things because I just couldn't stand the accusations. She felt disrespected.

Anyway, we had several conversations after this and none were very positive. As a matter of fact, we ended up talking about a week ago and the conversation ended by her basically saying I'm tired of talking about all this and hanging up on me.

So, 8 days go by, I'm minding my own business, not even thinking about her and randomly she texts me...how was your vacation? I had told her specially I was going on vacation the last two weeks of September. So I hadn't even gone yet. Seemed really odd, given our last conversation was not very positive. Several times she has asked me to leave her alone and move on but now 3 days in a row I've gotten a call or text from her...the conversations have been pleasant...no talk of the things that ended our relationship, but the tension seems to have been lifted somehow. What's really going on here guys? Is she just lonely, needing someone to talk to or is she fishing to see if we can work things out?

Big Nick
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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oneboy21

Senior Don Juan
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She might be feeling lonely, seeing all her girl friend's spending time with her bf's
since you totally ignored her she might be curious whats going on with you.
 

bignick79

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Yea, I got the feeling she was lonely a little. Prior to this, she had sent men text about 2 weeks ago. She said, "I would ask how you are, but I know you're fine. Your moms ok, your jobs ok, everything's ok. Glad your doing well.". This felt to me like she wanted to say hi and ask me how I was, but she didn't have the gumpshin to just ask. That one made me laugh!
 

bignick79

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Quite possible...although it's only been a month or so since we broke up...I treated her great. I think she realizes what she had and maybe realizes she was being unreasonable, but can't quite admit it yet, so this is her way of keeping the door open??? IDK?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Masculinity

Master Don Juan
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Fumbduck said:
That's why one of my ex's contacts me occasionally. Kick her while she's down. :kick:
:crackup:
 

bigneil

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They always come back, which is important to remember for the painful first breakup. If you just let them go then you can get them back when they return. If you whine about it you can do irreversible damage. They'll still come back but your odds will be lower, plus you'll probably repeat the same mistakes.

In my current relationship we met, slept together, then she vanished for a month, then she returned and now she is obsessed with me.
 

movistar

Senior Don Juan
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bigneil said:
They always come back, which is important to remember for the painful first breakup. If you just let them go then you can get them back when they return. If you whine about it you can do irreversible damage. They'll still come back but your odds will be lower, plus you'll probably repeat the same mistakes.

In my current relationship we met, slept together, then she vanished for a month, then she returned and now she is obsessed with me.
Most of the time they do come back, remain unfazed by them... You're just riding out the storm, they buck, to see what's out there, but eventually if you are going on with your life, improving, spinning plates you with be back in the drivers seat.
 

Sh0t

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She wasn't being that unreasonable.

It's pretty well known women find it disrespectful when their boyfriends look at other girls right in front of them.

If you are going bother having a girlfriend(not recommended), you might as well treat her with respect.

Doing it doesn't show you are a strong man that looks at whatever he wants, it just shows you have no self-control. I would peg it as insecure before I peg it as 'alpha'. Actions like this are the definition of "passive-aggressive".
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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