"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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My ex is all of a sudden calling me again??

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bignick79

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What's up Don Juan-ers!

I have a little situation here that has me slightly perplexed. I broke up win my ex about a month ago. She was having issues with me "leering" at other girls. That was her perception. I had a different opinion, we all look...as long as I don't touch or hit on a girl right in front of her, what harm am I causing? I ended things because I just couldn't stand the accusations. She felt disrespected.

Anyway, we had several conversations after this and none were very positive. As a matter of fact, we ended up talking about a week ago and the conversation ended by her basically saying I'm tired of talking about all this and hanging up on me.

So, 8 days go by, I'm minding my own business, not even thinking about her and randomly she texts me...how was your vacation? I had told her specially I was going on vacation the last two weeks of September. So I hadn't even gone yet. Seemed really odd, given our last conversation was not very positive. Several times she has asked me to leave her alone and move on but now 3 days in a row I've gotten a call or text from her...the conversations have been pleasant...no talk of the things that ended our relationship, but the tension seems to have been lifted somehow. What's really going on here guys? Is she just lonely, needing someone to talk to or is she fishing to see if we can work things out?

Big Nick
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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oneboy21

Senior Don Juan
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She might be feeling lonely, seeing all her girl friend's spending time with her bf's
since you totally ignored her she might be curious whats going on with you.
 
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bignick79

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Yea, I got the feeling she was lonely a little. Prior to this, she had sent men text about 2 weeks ago. She said, "I would ask how you are, but I know you're fine. Your moms ok, your jobs ok, everything's ok. Glad your doing well.". This felt to me like she wanted to say hi and ask me how I was, but she didn't have the gumpshin to just ask. That one made me laugh!
 
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bignick79

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Quite possible...although it's only been a month or so since we broke up...I treated her great. I think she realizes what she had and maybe realizes she was being unreasonable, but can't quite admit it yet, so this is her way of keeping the door open??? IDK?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Masculinity

Masculinity

Master Don Juan
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Fumbduck said:
That's why one of my ex's contacts me occasionally. Kick her while she's down. :kick:
Click to expand...
:crackup:
 
bigneil

bigneil

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They always come back, which is important to remember for the painful first breakup. If you just let them go then you can get them back when they return. If you whine about it you can do irreversible damage. They'll still come back but your odds will be lower, plus you'll probably repeat the same mistakes.

In my current relationship we met, slept together, then she vanished for a month, then she returned and now she is obsessed with me.
 
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movistar

Senior Don Juan
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bigneil said:
They always come back, which is important to remember for the painful first breakup. If you just let them go then you can get them back when they return. If you whine about it you can do irreversible damage. They'll still come back but your odds will be lower, plus you'll probably repeat the same mistakes.

In my current relationship we met, slept together, then she vanished for a month, then she returned and now she is obsessed with me.
Click to expand...
Most of the time they do come back, remain unfazed by them... You're just riding out the storm, they buck, to see what's out there, but eventually if you are going on with your life, improving, spinning plates you with be back in the drivers seat.
 
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Sh0t

Don Juan
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She wasn't being that unreasonable.

It's pretty well known women find it disrespectful when their boyfriends look at other girls right in front of them.

If you are going bother having a girlfriend(not recommended), you might as well treat her with respect.

Doing it doesn't show you are a strong man that looks at whatever he wants, it just shows you have no self-control. I would peg it as insecure before I peg it as 'alpha'. Actions like this are the definition of "passive-aggressive".
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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