so true about the emotional punching bag.
I know I sound crazy, but that's also why I don't want to walk away so easily. Not only cause I love her, but I also love her as a person and outside of this our relationship is usually great. We rarely argue and she's not always depressed, it's just when things get very overwhelming, she's not good dealing with stress.
I also should add that the time she asked for the break was during the time her period started. Usually when that happens, i've noticed depending on how stressful her life is she becomes very irritated, moody, emotional, and irrational. Not all months are like that though. I usually try to hide when it gets bad, but she gets mad for not hearing from me.
Well with some of the added color you've provided around the issue, I'll clarify some thoughts.
My experience has been that most girls I've dated have really bad emotional issues during their periods. It has varied by the girl, but for whatever reason, all the girls I end up in LTRs with are on the far end of the crazy spectrum during their periods. Add on some life stress and it takes them completely over the edge. It's not just you they lash out against - they do it against family, friends, etc. I am not saying it is right, nor an excuse for the behavior, but at the end of the day, my own personal experience has taught me that this is just how women are due to their hormones and associated emotions. Do they have SOME control over it? To varying degrees, yes, depending on the girl.
Then there is how a person responds to life stress outside of their periods. Some people are better able and better-adjusted at managing life stress than others. The ones who are bad at it can get better through deliberate, willing effort and possibly cognitive therapy.... learning "span of control", meditation, etc. However, in my personal experience, the women who have the most difficult time managing stress are also the most STUBBORN women, which means two things 1- Their stubbornness is a chief reason they evolved into a person who has a difficult time rolling with the punches and managing stress because they want to have control over everything and they short-circuit inside when certain things are simply outside of their control, and 2 - Their stubbornness causes them to be the LEAST likely people to accept or seek help, which cements their fate to stay the same and not improve with time. This is where I agree with
@Trez in that, it's about 90% likely a person like this will stay the same or get worse but not get better.
You say she is normally ok, and I believe you, but you have to also realize that while she is under a lot of stress right now and you can choose to be patient and stick with her through it, this is not the only time she is going to face stress. Stress is a constant factor of life. It's going to come up again. And again. And again. So don't think that if you make it through this hump, it's not going to rear its ugly head again. It will. You can bet on it.
If you choose to stick with her, the best thing to do is is communicate clear boundaries and when she pulls away, you need to pull away harder. If she says something like "start over as friends," then you need to tell her directly that while you understand this is a hard time for her, that isn't what YOU are looking for and that maybe she needs some time on her own to figure things out, then you walk away and never look back and you start dating other girls. If she gets mad at you and says she still expects to go on dates and hear from you every day, your response should be along the lines of, "That's what I wanted too, but I don't go on dates with friends nor do I talk to each of them every day. I'm a busy guy. I can only make that kind of time for a partner and you've told me you aren't interested in that right now so I need to shift my time and energy elsewhere." She needs to understand that she WILL lose you and she is NOT in the position of being able to unilaterally keep changing the terms of your relationship and expect you to stick around through it. You will not tolerate that and she needs to know that. Additionally, do NOT accept any shaming or criticism from her for your taking this position.
If you are someone who typically is really nice and accommodating to women (as opposed to a guy who runs through them without a second though), The BIGGEST thing you need to do is to focus on what YOU want and what YOU need and understand that, despite how she may react, there is nothing wrong or out of line with your wants and needs.
