My Cousin Has Changed After Prison

[Pandora]

My cousin and I used to be almost as close as brothers. He goes in for the better part of a decade and cuts off contact with most people including me. He has been out for about 11 months.

He comes to visit me because he is having a hard time adjusting fully. His gf he left on the outside has been acting differently among other things.

His personality is much more abrasive now. He complains a lot and is never satisfied. He was never this unpleasant before. He used to be such a loving chill dude.

He stays with me for a while and I give him the shirt on my back. I buy him things and roll out the red carpet for him but he does not seem to appreciate it.

He even told me that prison taught him to trust no one ( he said he doesnt even trust me).

This is just making me sad. Im around my late 30s and thats when he went in. I feel like I lost my cousin.

I want to be understanding but at the same time its tough when he is so aggressive now.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Dude needs a dog

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Sometimes you have to know when to cut people out of your life before they drag you down with them.

 

[corrector]

Maybe he got raped in jail. Does he walk funny? Did the cops plant drugs or was he in for something he actually did?

 

[Pandora]

Maybe he got raped in jail. Does he walk funny? Did the cops plant drugs or was he in for something he actually did?

He was a selling a lot drugs and guns for a long time. Maybe he got raped in jail. I know that he is super paranoid about tight spaces, dark spaces etc. Maybe he needs therapy. He seems reluctant to tell me if anyone attacked him in prison.

Funny thing is he still has a criminal mindset its just that he is reluctant to act on it. Many of these people are fundamentally flawed in the way they think. Their brain is wired to take the short cut.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

He was a selling a lot drugs and guns for a long time. Maybe he got raped in jail. I know that he is super paranoid about tight spaces, dark spaces etc. Maybe he needs therapy. He seems reluctant to tell me if anyone attacked him in prison.

Funny thing is he still has a criminal mindset its just that he is reluctant to act on it. Many of these people are fundamentally flawed in the way they think. Their brain is wired to take the short cut.

You become like those you spend the most time with. So if you want a future as a criminal, continue hanging out with him.

it is much easier to get dragged down than pulled up.

 

[Pandora]

You become like those you spend the most time with. So if you want a future as a criminal, continue hanging out with him.

it is much easier to get dragged down than pulled up.

Yeh I agree man. Im not hanging with him anymore. He lives several states away and this is the first time ive seen him since he was released. You have to see a person when they get out of prison. I cant just not see him at least once. After this though im good unless its family functions.

 

[Pandora]

My cousin kind of reminds me of how one of my friends was when he first got out of Marine Corp bootcamp. Just aggressive af and high strung. I was like relax man.

Except my Marine friends didnt have the criminal mindset to go with it.

 

[Travel memoir21]

I would tell your cousin to relax, at least you weren't in the Holocaust and go read Victor Frankel's book Man's Search for Meaning. Whatever type of love he got stored under there, he should not abandon it, I'd encourage him to join a church for support, get a job and go to college if he can, strive for self improvement and be of service to his community first before trying to make himself happy. See Happiness is an oxymoron, if you try solely to make yourself happy, happiness will be fleeting. If you try to be a service to those around you, happiness will find you in more ways than one. Remember that Brothers.

 

[corrector]

Maybe he got raped in jail.

I would have a bit more compassion and give him the benefit of the doubt here if that's the case. That's traumatic.

 

[ApocalypticBroccoli]

I would have a bit more compassion and give him the benefit of the doubt here if that's the case. That's traumatic.

Prison rape fundamentally delegitimizes our laws and legal system.

If I hold a woman down while another guy sticks his d1ck in her, I'm guilty of rape. If society puts a man in a cage and prevents him from using his skills to make even the crudest defensive weapons, and he's raped as a result of that, society and its legal system are guilty of rape.

Next time you're called for jury duty and the charges are punishable by prison time, ask yourself if you're willing to sentence somebody to rape. I'm not, no matter what the crime. Read about jury nullification.

 

[MatureDJ]

My cousin and I used to be almost as close as brothers. He goes in for the better part of a decade and cuts off contact with most people including me. He has been out for about 11 months.

He comes to visit me because he is having a hard time adjusting fully. His gf he left on the outside has been acting differently among other things.

His personality is much more abrasive now. He complains a lot and is never satisfied. He was never this unpleasant before. He used to be such a loving chill dude.

He stays with me for a while and I give him the shirt on my back. I buy him things and roll out the red carpet for him but he does not seem to appreciate it.

He even told me that prison taught him to trust no one ( he said he doesnt even trust me).

This is just making me sad. Im around my late 30s and thats when he went in. I feel like I lost my cousin.

I want to be understanding but at the same time its tough when he is so aggressive now.

I'm glad that I'm not close to any thug.

 

[MatureDJ]

My cousin kind of reminds me of how one of my friends was when he first got out of Marine Corp bootcamp. Just aggressive af and high strung. I was like relax man.

Except my Marine friends didnt have the criminal mindset to go with it.

Yes, but he did have the mindset to, when commanded, kill with extreme prejudice. I'm frankly quite surprised at how many men had been great killers in wartime and then went on to lead good moral lives.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Yes, but he did have the mindset to, when commanded, kill with extreme prejudice. I'm frankly quite surprised at how many men had been great killers in wartime and then went on to lead good moral lives.

Why? If you're not willing to kill you don't survive over the centuries. This applies to good men as well as bad.

 

[corrector]

Prison rape fundamentally delegitimizes our laws and legal system.

If I hold a woman down while another guy sticks his d1ck in her, I'm guilty of rape. If society puts a man in a cage and prevents him from using his skills to make even the crudest defensive weapons, and he's raped as a result of that, society and its legal system are guilty of rape.

Next time you're called for jury duty and the charges are punishable by prison time, ask yourself if you're willing to sentence somebody to rape. I'm not, no matter what the crime. Read about jury nullification.

Agreed. Prison rape fundamentally delegitimizes the legal system.

There’s also a deep hypocrisy in it. A lot of tough-on-crime rhetoric, especially from people who also claim Biblical morality, quietly treats prison rape as some kind of acceptable unofficial punishment because “they’re criminals.” But if the state takes away a man’s freedom and places him in a controlled environment, then the state has a duty to protect him from abuse.

You can’t claim to stand for law, order, and morality while turning a blind eye to that. It turns punishment into something cruel and lawless.

And this is even worse when you consider how many people America imprisons compared with other countries. If a system locks up that many people, then tolerates inhumane conditions inside, that becomes a human rights issue, not just a criminal justice issue.