DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2007
- Messages
- 4,679
- Reaction score
- 102
All women has an inner ho that will come out to play every now and then.
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My Amazing LTR GF has a "Bad Past"
- Thread starter Rudy_TubeSteak
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
MooseGod
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2007
- Messages
- 785
- Reaction score
- 11
I don't know if anyone thought of this, but if it was my girlfriend I'd demand a threesome with one of her hot female friends. Kinda evens up the score, don't you think?
Rudy_TubeSteak
Senior Don Juan
Yea I am still with her...To be honest with you all she hasn't done anything wrong however it is always me who gets freaked out from time to time and blow over the past and accuse her of crazy things.
But she still stands by with me and wants to work it out. I've never seen anyone so commited and tolerates my crap regarding the same issue. If she never told me no one even her close friends could tell shes done things like that.
Maybe seeing a therapist or hypnotist could make me forget things and get on with life.
But she still stands by with me and wants to work it out. I've never seen anyone so commited and tolerates my crap regarding the same issue. If she never told me no one even her close friends could tell shes done things like that.
Maybe seeing a therapist or hypnotist could make me forget things and get on with life.
There is nothing wrong in wanting certain traits in a girl. She might as well have kept this "threesome" stuff to herself and you would never suspected. Ignorance is bliss.Rudy_TubeSteak said:
But she told you. Now you can try and try and try, but hey: the problem is not with you, you did nothing wrong. This is just not the type of girl you want to be on a LTR with. Torture yourself all you want, you'll just end up fvcked up in the head -- I am sure she will not, trust me on this. Been there, done that.
Get your things and move on.
I think it's the younger set who feels the need to let everything out - this is absolutely the wrong thing to do. With maturity comes the realization it's better to keep your mouth shut about what you did and with who.
To the op, you did the right thing (in my opinion) by staying with her - sounds like you have a good thing going.
As for you wanting advice on how to get over the knowledge you have and the bad feelings it gives, that's tough - I have been in the same situation, I had no way of "getting over it" but we had a great relationship, so what I did was squash all outward signs of jealousy, kept my mouth shut when mad about it, didn't bring it up and eventually over time it didn't become such a big deal anymore. I stayed focused on priorities.
To the op, you did the right thing (in my opinion) by staying with her - sounds like you have a good thing going.
As for you wanting advice on how to get over the knowledge you have and the bad feelings it gives, that's tough - I have been in the same situation, I had no way of "getting over it" but we had a great relationship, so what I did was squash all outward signs of jealousy, kept my mouth shut when mad about it, didn't bring it up and eventually over time it didn't become such a big deal anymore. I stayed focused on priorities.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
MacAvoy
Banned
Personally I'm amazed that she has put up with your BS this long. Its a shame, it appears you have a real winner on your hands who truly loves you.
If you don't get past this sooner or later, your gonna regret it for the rest of your life. She'll always be the great one that got away. The sad part is, she's done nothing compared to the next women that you'll end up having a relationship with, the only difference will be the next women won't be stupid enough to tell you everything.
edit: at the end of the day, your both young and your breakup is inevitable. So just enjoy what you can, while you can. She's a college slvt and treat her as such. But enjoy it, she treats you good, so soak up as much of it as you can.
If you don't get past this sooner or later, your gonna regret it for the rest of your life. She'll always be the great one that got away. The sad part is, she's done nothing compared to the next women that you'll end up having a relationship with, the only difference will be the next women won't be stupid enough to tell you everything.
edit: at the end of the day, your both young and your breakup is inevitable. So just enjoy what you can, while you can. She's a college slvt and treat her as such. But enjoy it, she treats you good, so soak up as much of it as you can.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2005
- Messages
- 4,476
- Reaction score
- 182
I doubt he's going to regret losing her (if he does) the rest of his life Mac.
As obviously if he can get a hottie this obsessed with him he'll have no trouble landing another one or two or three down the line should this scenario not work itself out.
This guy must be like the ultimate DJ or perhaps this chick has one really hardcore pathetic relationship agenda going on to put up with the problems she brought on herself by telling Rudy about her sordid past.
Yeah though Rudy if you want to hang onto this chick you're just going to have to force yourself to not use her pornstar quality past against her from now on and never bring it up again.
Still though you must realize with all that you've used it against her the seeds of resentment have been planted and any possible breakup she initiates with you in the future your having brought up her past will be used by her as justification for the breakup.
As obviously if he can get a hottie this obsessed with him he'll have no trouble landing another one or two or three down the line should this scenario not work itself out.
This guy must be like the ultimate DJ or perhaps this chick has one really hardcore pathetic relationship agenda going on to put up with the problems she brought on herself by telling Rudy about her sordid past.
Yeah though Rudy if you want to hang onto this chick you're just going to have to force yourself to not use her pornstar quality past against her from now on and never bring it up again.
Still though you must realize with all that you've used it against her the seeds of resentment have been planted and any possible breakup she initiates with you in the future your having brought up her past will be used by her as justification for the breakup.
Rudy_TubeSteak
Senior Don Juan
How good a girl is she? Well we went camping the other night...we got to the campsite and so I went on a little mission to get firewood.....
By the time I got back with firewood...she has already set up camp, set the sleeping set up, started the fire and fired up the barbecue....How good is that?
I went to the gym the other day and was pumped up about having a great work out...rings me up later on and surprises by coming around to give me a backrub and then finishes up by putting on my favourite movie.
This was just the past week....so you would understand why I dont want to lose her and need to find a way to get over sh*t.
She lives in a house with just all girls and fights with everyone to keep it that way...just to make lives easier.
This is why I dont get it...she is different now to what she told me she did. quite a big contrast.
By the time I got back with firewood...she has already set up camp, set the sleeping set up, started the fire and fired up the barbecue....How good is that?
I went to the gym the other day and was pumped up about having a great work out...rings me up later on and surprises by coming around to give me a backrub and then finishes up by putting on my favourite movie.
This was just the past week....so you would understand why I dont want to lose her and need to find a way to get over sh*t.
She lives in a house with just all girls and fights with everyone to keep it that way...just to make lives easier.
This is why I dont get it...she is different now to what she told me she did. quite a big contrast.
MacAvoy
Banned
Your underestimating the power of the mind and the effect of the Chasing Amy sindrome. Look at his most recent post, he's building her up in his mind, he's making her out to be the best women ever, how great she is but the fact is he can't get out of his mind, her hor like activities.KontrollerX said:
I doubt he'll ever get over it. He'll always have thoughts about her in his head. Its normal, its human psychology. I have thoughts about women in my past, some I'll always wonder.
i went through the same **** , had this girl who worshipped the ground i walked on,was very sweet looked like she never hurt a fly etc...then later i found out she had a "past"..like you it seemed to ruin things a bit, i didnt even want to touch her considering what she'd done.It disgusted me.The relationship ended with her cheating on me,which was not too surprising considering what she'd done.
my advice to you is this,women can be very deceptive.events from her past can be reliable cues as to what she is capable of.
HOWEVER and this is a big however, it does not mean you should dump her immediatley no no .None of these creatures called women are perfect,they are all capabale of sordid acts. learn to live with it,dnt let her past ruin things..Above all the reason the girl is into you means youre currently doing sumthing right,keep doing it,keep continueously sparking that attraction and never lose that dj mentality of you being able to walk away anytime.
my advice to you is this,women can be very deceptive.events from her past can be reliable cues as to what she is capable of.
HOWEVER and this is a big however, it does not mean you should dump her immediatley no no .None of these creatures called women are perfect,they are all capabale of sordid acts. learn to live with it,dnt let her past ruin things..Above all the reason the girl is into you means youre currently doing sumthing right,keep doing it,keep continueously sparking that attraction and never lose that dj mentality of you being able to walk away anytime.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Latim
Don Juan
Dude. If Your still thinking about this then this is all going to end really bad.
Rudy_TubeSteak
Senior Don Juan
im still with her...most other women ive met now seems to give me the vibe of being *****bags unless they are clean but ultra boring and ugly.
I am constantly on the look out for deceptive traits but thats no way to spend your time in a relationship.
some people i work with are cheatin on their husbands etc and so casual about it and even bring them to big dinners involving the ones they are sleeping with.
i hate being in a relationship and still have to look out for **** like this.
I am constantly on the look out for deceptive traits but thats no way to spend your time in a relationship.
some people i work with are cheatin on their husbands etc and so casual about it and even bring them to big dinners involving the ones they are sleeping with.
i hate being in a relationship and still have to look out for **** like this.
tincanman99
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2004
- Messages
- 87
- Reaction score
- 12
You dont have a whole lot of options here. It basically comes down to the following:
1. Accept it and let it go. Forget about what she told you and just continue to enjoy your relationship.
2. Dwell on it and it will destroy the relationship. You might as well end the relationship right now before the drama starts.
Does it bother you, sure. You cant do anything about what she has done and what she told you. The only thing you can do is control how you react to it. As I said above there are not a whole lot of options. This reaction is exactly why I never ask women about their past relationships. I dont want to know about what they did.
As a side note this confirms even more that a lot but not all women do a lot of things that most men would be shocked at. Lets just say they are in the closet about their promiscuity. I dont expect anyone to be a virgin but I am astounded by when I hear so called "nice" girls doing these things.
1. Accept it and let it go. Forget about what she told you and just continue to enjoy your relationship.
2. Dwell on it and it will destroy the relationship. You might as well end the relationship right now before the drama starts.
Does it bother you, sure. You cant do anything about what she has done and what she told you. The only thing you can do is control how you react to it. As I said above there are not a whole lot of options. This reaction is exactly why I never ask women about their past relationships. I dont want to know about what they did.
As a side note this confirms even more that a lot but not all women do a lot of things that most men would be shocked at. Lets just say they are in the closet about their promiscuity. I dont expect anyone to be a virgin but I am astounded by when I hear so called "nice" girls doing these things.
MacAvoy
Banned
How much of your energy do you spend watching out for the flags?Rudy_TubeSteak said:
I don't doubt that she's a great girl and worth keeping but I think the bigger problem here is YOU, your confidence, your perception of yourself, your self worth, your ego, I could go on and on but I think you get the point.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Trajhenkhet01
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2008
- Messages
- 66
- Reaction score
- 2
I had a 4 year LTR that began in a similar fashion. Although there were red flags at the beginning, and I choose to ignore them because they weren't very big to me. She said I was her first BF, but I had a couple of cool lady friend coworkers who were under the impression she was dating some other dude. Then being late going somewhere, little white lies here and there. I ignored them because it seemed to me that she worshiped the very ground I walked on. Bought me heavy amounts of gifts to the point where I had to tell her to stop. And any bedroom activity I asked for I got out of her. After a year and a half of being together we moved in. The first year and a half was really fun and cool. The red flags got bigger though. Soon she was staying out at odd hours of the night. I passed it off because she always treated me good. And then this last year the good treatment was gone and I was basically going home to emotional hell. I'm not nearly as successful with women as you claim to be, but if things are real good between you and her I wouldn't think to hard on it, but do keep your eyes open (watch out for the red flags), and don't let something that ain't right pass on you. Your gut is also your best piece of advice in these matters more than me or any other poster on here. Watch out for any change of behaviors.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
ANDREW DICE CLAY: Hey, is that your chick there?
GUY IN THE AUDIENCE: Yeah!
DICE: Damn she's pretty hot!
GUY: Yeah,..
DICE: You been together a while?
GUY: 2 years
DICE: Nice. She faithful to you?
GUY: Oh yeah.
DICE: She good in bed?
GUY: *nods head enthusiastically*
DICE: She suck a good d!ck?
GUY: (laughing) Oooh yeah,..
DICE: I suppose the next question would be, "How do you suppose she got that way?"
Every man wants a slut, he just wants her to be HIS slut.
GUY IN THE AUDIENCE: Yeah!
DICE: Damn she's pretty hot!
GUY: Yeah,..
DICE: You been together a while?
GUY: 2 years
DICE: Nice. She faithful to you?
GUY: Oh yeah.
DICE: She good in bed?
GUY: *nods head enthusiastically*
DICE: She suck a good d!ck?
GUY: (laughing) Oooh yeah,..
DICE: I suppose the next question would be, "How do you suppose she got that way?"
Every man wants a slut, he just wants her to be HIS slut.
Why not?Rudy_TubeSteak said:
Have you considered that she might not exactly mind that so much. In fact she might rather enjoy it.
Why be a prude, she sounds like someone who likes to enjoy herself? (probably not always in the best ways, but still) so if you do not give her that excitement she will eventually get bored of you.
If she is not interested in doing that with you then you have a problem. If a girl is truly attracted to you, she'd be willing to give you every benefit she has given to another guy before, infact go beyond it (so perhaps you could een go for a many girl 1 guy orgy
). If she claims to have changed and gives you other such bull**** when you talk about doing stuff with her that she did in her slutty past, all it means is she's not as attracted to you and eventually she won't be able to control her slutty self and cheat on you.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.