You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
I'm not here to workout man, I'm here to become social, and I'm here to get laid; after I accomplish those things I don't give a f*ck whether or not you assh*les give me advice. Haha, 95 pound freshman? Is that what you are? Because that's certainly not me, I'm a 180 pound, JUNIOR FYI(Don't believe me? Who cares. You're the one lying to yourself, I don't need to prove anything to myself). And also, FYI, I run on the treadmill 4 days a week, for 30 minutes, a lot more than your lazy ass does, probably. Maybe if you stopped pulling stuff out of your ass(That 95 pound freshman bullsh*t), I might actually listen to you.TheNewGuy said:You are like the 95 pound freshman that tries a workout routine for two weeks, looks in the mirror, notices after two weeks he doesn't look like INSERT TOUGH GUY OF THE WEEK and then comes to the almighty conclusion that the routine is trashed.
Know why you are coming to us for help? Because we know more than you. You know we know more, we know we know more. To say that what we told you is wrong, is to say that we do not know more than you. So if we don't know more than you, why are you asking us for advice? Leave... again.
Moderators/Allen, if you really want him to never come back again: do a whois on his IP and tell his ISP that he has been spamming the forums for the past 5 months, banned 3 times and still comes back. That type of action violates every AUP and is guaranteed to get his account turned off.
MrConfidence said:I'm not here to workout man, I'm here to become social, and I'm here to get laid; after I accomplish those things I don't give a f*ck whether or not you assh*les give me advice. Haha, 95 pound freshman? Is that what you are? Because that's certainly not me, I'm a 180 pound, JUNIOR FYI(Don't believe me? Who cares. You're the one lying to yourself, I don't need to prove anything to myself). And also, FYI, I run on the treadmill 4 days a week, for 30 minutes, a lot more than your lazy ass does, probably. Maybe if you stopped pulling stuff out of your ass(That 95 pound freshman bullsh*t), I might actually listen to you. So what if you do ban me? Hardly any loss to me, since I hardly ever come here in the first place. Infact, I'd be glad if you guys banned me, I don't need this kind of crap when I'm trying to become a better person.
Ah, I must missed that when I read your post. Man, do I feel stupid now. Deepest apologies, I honestly thought you were talking about me, and even if you were, I had no reason to be so offended. If anything, you're not the assh*les, I am.TheNewGuy said:No. I used to be that guy. Notice the past tense. Also please take note of this article.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Local Celebrity said:Ah, you don't apologize man. Not to men, not to women.
Steve Covey said:It takes a great deal of character strength to apologize quickly out of one's heart rather than out of pity. A person must possess himself and have a deep sense of security in fundamental principles and values in order to genuinely apologize.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
That's it. Much better.MrConfidence said:Thanks for supporting me guys. Although is there a way to get her talking without going through a bunch of topics? I started the conversation with "Hey, how's it going with you?", and didn't really get anywhere until I asked how her weekend was(Which was kind of weird, considering it was Monday). I also got to work on smiling, and eye contact, which I did neither of in this conversation.
Yeah, I've also got to thank those girls, because if it wasn't for them wanting to sit at my table that day, I probably wouldn't have talked to her at all. Band practice is tonight at 6:30, and I'm going a little before that, and see if I can use what I've learned to approach some chicks in band. Now I know what confidence feels like man, where you just DO IT, don't think about, you just have this gut feeling. If I could just stop doubting myself, I know I could approach any girl, and I could also stop caring about what others think of me. I don't even need to pull one of those slick observational openers, I just need to say something along the lines of "Hey, how's it going?", and follow up with a topic. I'm going to dodge using the whole "How was school for you thing" because most girls will just give you a short answer. I might even just use a situational opener, and tell her I like her shirt, or something.Mr_rogers said:That's it. Much better.
Just work on those things that you mentioned. You're on your way. ****ing A.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.