Moving In Thread. LTR under 1 rooftop

[Von]

Von,

Step back for a minute and look at what you’ve written here:

She’s “massively stubborn“. This is a red flag.

She doesn’t believe in contraception. How are you not getting her pregnant now?

Again, she doesn’t believe in contraception. Dude, she’s going to wind up getting pregnant in less than a year. You understand that right? And, on top of that you imply that you’re working 80 hours a week.

You need to give yourself a reality check.

-Augustus-

Hey Augustus,

On it right now. I know what you mean. Reykhel nailed it

All these things, me and the current LTR are very well aware.

She's one of those ''virgin until marriage for religious reasons''

The girl quality and value are not in question. Also her stubborness is quite appealing to me.

Reykel wrote about these ''dependants boys'' I used to be soo much one of them. Both parents worked 80 hours a week and were quite absent and bpd on many issues. Eventually, they got an office from home and they were too much there lol.

I turned out alright althought a bit late in my development.

Wedding, Kids, Work Schedule, etc... are none of the issue. Her work allow her 2 years of full paid motherly leaves per kids etc. etc. I can work from home and be flexible.

My questions are internal and about self-doubt (I can be quite a woman, since raised by strong female crazy mother):
1. Are we on the same page ?
2. I don't feel ready for kids etc.
3. I grow so much and there is so many ''personnal things'' I wanna do first.
4. Will I succeed ? Or be a failure

Every day, every month, every year... I am getting better and more improved.. My discipline, routine and success keeps going up and up. People notice and keep saying how I ''change-improve''... so my growth and evolution is far from over.... but I know my limits: Stress management and priorities tends to go all over the place once in a while with me.

The girl and her value are fine, we talk about this and she said she was ready to ''wait'' for kids (than on the engagement... suddenly she can't track her cycle and errors might come in). We ''engaged''...

I've no intention of ''adapting my frame'' ... her work schedule is crazier than mine but her ''future'' is more guaranteed... My income/career/business depends on my sales and education... And right now in Wealth Management, wealthmanagers/brokers are dying left and right. Mine is family business.. I joined partnered with my mom so handling all the clients, management, financial planning, human ressources, sales and growth while studying 40 hours a week, dancing 5 hours, gym 19hours, personnal reading 2 hours, sleep at 7 hours a day.

If wealthy people can handle it ... no reason I can't (I know a nurse and fire fighter... 3 kids, 58 years olds... the nurse is real beauty and look 30 like her husband... worth1.5 millions in investment funds, 700 000$ house, around 50 000$ each in pension funds yearly until death ) ... when I was in their file... got quite the excitement.Lol.

Anyhow, she's quiet, calm, been great support in helping me understand my adhd-hyperactivity-stress etc.., and his super low-maintenance.

My fears are like I wrote. And it's nuts!
Worst case: She's the right girl at the wrong time lol or I dodge a bullet. My life goes ahead and forward

Conclusion: I've never felt better about myself and been more succesful and powerful, active than now. It's all due to me and some brainstorm with her and my family. I do intend on keeping this success, power and growth continue and face the challenges.

It's amazing we finally have a ''Moving In - LTR official thread here''

 

[Serenity]

If she gets bored it’s more than likely over. Keep her excitement level as high as you can any way you can…
Whether it’s a continued dating mindset or whatever.

No!! It is not the mans duty to entertain a woman in life. If she can't make her own fun she was not right from the start. I told my girlfriend the first time she even hinted at being bored to do some stuff with her friends. She is extremely low maintenance, because she can care for herself, the way it should be.

Keeping a womans excitement level artificially high over time is THE thing that sucks the life out of a man. Women should not expect a man to give excitement any more than they can give back, if they can't do that then they're leeches and can fvck off.

We're not their entertainer, relationships are not supposed to be one way.

 

[Billtx49]

No!! It is not the mans duty to entertain a woman in life. If she can't make her own fun she was not right from the start. I told my girlfriend the first time she even hinted at being bored to do some stuff with her friends. She is extremely low maintenance, because she can care for herself, the way it should be.

Keeping a womans excitement level artificially high over time is THE thing that sucks the life out of a man. Women should not expect a man to give excitement any more than they can give back, if they can't do that then they're leeches and can fvck off.

We're not their entertainer, relationships are not supposed to be one way.

My statement meant to not become complacent and a couch potato…
Keep living like you’re still dating her. Drinks, dinner, fun things, etc.
Complacency kills relationships deader than a door nail and produces her boredom and we all know what happens then …

 

[Serenity]

My statement meant to not become complacent and a couch potato…
Keep living like you’re still dating her. Drinks, dinner, fun things, etc.
Complacency kills relationships deader than a door nail and produces her boredom and we all know what happens then …

Fair enough, I support moderation. But "keep excitement as high as you can any way you can" really just has one interpretation. Ultimately I think we agree though, don't be a complacent couch potato and don't burn yourself out trying to please.

 

[Billtx49]

Fair enough, I support moderation. But "keep excitement as high as you can any way you can" really just has one interpretation. Ultimately I think we agree though, don't be a complacent couch potato and don't burn yourself out trying to please.

Right

 

[EyeBRollin]

What makes you say this?
I’m curious because so many peeps are shacking up these days after a year and a bit of dating.

Why would you want to? It’s needy as ****. You shack up to raise a family, not to be up your woman’s ass. Men want to roam. It’s up to the woman to domesticate you. You are instantly making yourself less attractive to her by moving in, so save it for once she conned you into marriage. Also, without marriage and a prenup you are **** out of luck once you start sharing household finances.

 

[flowtheory]

Why would you want to? It’s needy as ****. You shack up to raise a family, not to be up your woman’s ass. Men want to roam. It’s up to the woman to domesticate you. You are instantly making yourself less attractive to her by moving in, so save it for once she conned you into marriage. Also, without marriage and a prenup you are **** out of luck once you start sharing household finances.

My ex ex wanted to move in quite quickly early on in the relationship. With previous men in her life they were sharing a place by the third or fourth month; which was shocking to me.

I wanted to wait - naturally - and didn't make that jump until the year and theee quarter mark. And even though I waited that long, she held that against me for the remainder of our relationship and continually compared my decision to those of her exes, claiming that I had a lack of decisiveness, and chalked one of the falls of our relationship to that matter; when in reality I simply wanted to know what I was getting in to and was being somewhat pragmatic; for my given knowledge at that time.

 

[darksprezzatura]

LTR under a rooftop is game on hard mode.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Right

LTR under a rooftop is game on hard mode.

The old masculine man would be into his business, hobbies and extracurriculars and the wife or lady would be begging for time. That's the proper masculine and feminine polarity .

 

[Billtx49]

The old masculine man would be into his business, hobbies and extracurriculars and the wife or lady would be begging for time. That's the proper masculine and feminine polarity .

True. That sex polarity absolutely has to be kept, but he should also be doing surprise spur of the moment activities for example like a previously unannounced dinner at a new restaurant she’s never experienced, or whatever, to keep her life excitement level high. It’s a part of game on hard mode.
His enemy is a thing like settling into a routine like a dinner out every Fri. night, it’s part of what causes her boredom…

 

[ubercat]

To be honest @Von we already know. Overtime you can see most of the guys here penduluming back and forth between nice guy and alpha jerkboy. It's very obvious you've done some serious work on yourself and r coming to a good place somewhere near the middle. Persist at your martial arts if you can that's instant bad boy cred and keeps the panties wet

The broker gig might seem hard at the moment but actually you're perfectly placed. Hard times normally kick a percentage of the weaker ones out of the industry and then once things turn around if you've been working then you are brilliantly placed to grab the opportunities that will be raining down. And tell your missus that ... she's obviously a smart girl and will get it.

I also think we don't play up the positive side here enough. As BE says the reason so many guys here are dumpster diving is that most of the good ones are taken.

Of course all woman thro sh1t tests...have meltdowns... yada yada. But the good ones are feminine, supportive and create far less drama.

Basically I d leavr the dog training to filtering the negative behaviour. If she starts acting out withdraw attention etc. But 90% of the time with the Good Girls it's just a communication breakdown. Keep to your purpose but throw little bread crumbs of affection.

And don't be afraid to show a little old fashioned romance once in a while. Leave a flower on her pillow or filling her car up with balloons for her birthday, etc.

A few couple traditions don't hurt either "our thing" I take my girlfriend to the local market nearly every Sunday We Chat with the stallholders, eat our favourite foods and go feed the ducks at the lake.

Now obviously this is a young chick so maybe every second Sunday you take her mountain biking or whatever. But having a few couple traditions also helps it can be as simple as just making her breakfast in bed on Sunday and reading the papers together.

Reading the papers together is like people watching an easy low energy source of conversation and it counts in your quality time quota for the week.

I agree on the going away thing..its good for you too it helps break up the year and the grind. Best of luck mate you obviously found a good one but equally never be afraid to walk away.

 

[ubercat]

Just in case we confuse the newbies.

@billtx49 is right as well you can and should do both. For example last weekend I was driving us down to the market and kept on going past the turn off. I told my girlfriend I felt like a drive in the countryside. She goes nuts for Kangaroos so I took her to this golf course that has a Plague of them. It's like sweet and sour routine amplifies the impact when you break the routine.

 

[Spaz]

If she’s not your wife she has no business living with you. Period.

For an unmarried man.

This should be ur policy.

A women can stay the night, maybe even a week but not everyday.

 

[Von]

This the heavily religious girl?

Don't end up downtrodden like so. Very real possibility.

It can happen with any girls

Especially the alpha ones (aka modernist) lol.

You right, every LTR-Living together is a continuous Game field and Frame-Holding.

Man are sadly not genetically / mentally continuously gaming (we like to have a Squared / box mentality.. With screensaver in between).

Women are always thinking and continuously socially working.

That's why Women perfect better in the current landscape (work-study-familly)... I guess that's why older generation were pushing a lot of babies + division of roles (based on nature/biology/ and race survival in society).

Keeping a frame - rebuilding the emotional imprint of the man she first dated - keeping being better and improved (not different) - communication - respect - same goals/life desires - finding compatibility in each other. These are all LTR-same roof requisite

 

[Von]

Adding: "Always solve the issue on the day itself, always resolve conflict before going to bed"