You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
R U serious>vigilance said:Most obvious was at a gig I was doing (I play bass). Some dude comes up to me on break and says "my friend wants to meet you". So I go meet his friend, who turns out to be a fairly attractive blond chick I say "Hey I'm vigilance" and she says "I'm blahblahblah, wanna ****?". I said yes, then we did.
Remember, all condoms have a FUKK BEFORE DATE.kdnash82 said:Downside to that story was the condoms my friend gave me were stale and dry. One broke, the other rolled up to the point where it wanted to break and was just uncomfortable, which left me drunk, upset and very unsatisfied
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
did yew go to an Arizona uni?ER!C L!VE said:Spring Break Rocky Point '93.
Wait.. isn't this the most olympic night one's ever had thread? :cheer:
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Thankskdnash82 said:Er!c L!ve was fortunate enough to be old enough to have been of age around a time where girls were more "open" with their sexuality. After AIDS/HIV came along, things began to wrap up. Now us younger bucks have things a little more difficult.
We have to do a little more song and dance in order to get in those pants, and even then two in one night in the same spot would be un-heard of.
Way to go!!
Yep, I went to UofAZ, ASU and two different community colleges. I went on the 11 year plan. I graduated from ASU.DrMetallica said:did yew go to an Arizona uni?
ER!C L!VE said:I went on the 11 year plan.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.