Modesty equals weakness?

[Mike32ct]

I've always considered being modest/humble a good thing, but was also aware that the ****y/arrogant guy would usually do better with the ladies. Here is a study on that. Comments are welcome.


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/wor...9/Women-view-modesty-as-sign-of-weakness.html

 

[user43770]

I've always considered being modest/humble a good thing, but was also aware that the ****y/arrogant guy would usually do better with the ladies. Here is a study on that. Comments are welcome.


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/wor...9/Women-view-modesty-as-sign-of-weakness.html

I appreciate modesty in people. In my opinion, those who are modest exude more confidence than those who are arrogant.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I only got to about the third paragraph before concluding this study was jacked up.

They had actors pretend to be either "modest" or not "modest." these weren't real people in real situations.

Also these staged "conversations" were "job interviews."

So the only conclusion you can draw from this (despite the scholarly sounding title that alludes to women's conscious perceptions of evolutionary fitness):

Is that goofballs that act weak in job interviews aren't as attractive to women.

Duh.

Since this was a job interview, I suppose you could easily exchange the word "modest" with "self confidence" and proclaim that you've discovered that women don't find men with low self confidence attractive.

Double Duh.


Brilliant find there, doc. (not the OP, but the psychologist goof who designed this groundbreaking study).

 

[Bible_Belt]

The best mma fighter I know is also the quietest one.

I think part of the debate is a definition of terms. I see "modest" as being a good thing as long as you are realistic. By the same idea, it's not vain to say that you are good at something if it's true - provided you understand your own limitations and that there is always someone else who is better. "Meek" is not the same thing to me as modest.

 

[user43770]

I think part of the debate is a definition of terms. I see "modest" as being a good thing as long as you are realistic. By the same idea, it's not vain to say that you are good at something if it's true - provided you understand your own limitations and that there is always someone else who is better. "Meek" is not the same thing to me as modest.

Good point, Bible. It's the severe cases of modesty or vanity that we should try to avoid.

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

In books and movies the modesty is appreciated.

However, in real life people don't think so highly of the modest ones and the actions and words of the arrogant ones weigh more.

As a formerly modest man I can attest the above; the moment I changed my attitude to 'this is me, this is what I bring to the table and nothing less' everybody took me more seriously. The situation also helped since it was when I went to college; a change in attitude is easier when in a new environment...

Bravery, 'get off my way, I'm going for what I want' moments and rare spikes of arrogance also work wonders for creating a stronger, attractive image of yourself, while not making you seem arrogant overall.

So, to the ones preaching full time modesty I say ''f.uck off, I want to be influential, successful and to make things easier for myself.''

To sum it up, advising to be modest is very similar to advising to be nice.

 

[user43770]

In books and movies the modesty is appreciated.

However, in real life people don't think so highly of the modest ones and the actions and words of the arrogant ones weigh more.

As a formerly modest man I can attest the above; the moment I changed my attitude to 'this is me, this is what I bring to the table and nothing less' everybody took me more seriously. The situation also helped since it was when I went to college; a change in attitude is easier when in a new environment...

Bravery, 'get off my way, I'm going for what I want' moments and rare spikes of arrogance also work wonders for creating a stronger, attractive image of yourself, while not making you seem arrogant overall.

So, to the ones preaching full time modesty I say ''f.uck off, I want to be influential, successful and to make things easier for myself.''

To sum it up, advising to be modest is very similar to advising to be nice.

We obviously have different ideas of what modesty is. When I picture a modest man, I see someone who very rarely brags about himself; he lets others sing his praises. I see more self-assurance in someone who doesn't feel the need to constantly talk about how great they are.

It seems to me that you're confusing modesty with feebleness. Being modest doesn't mean that you have to be spineless; and being self-confident doesn't mean that you need to be boastful.

And if you think that being arrogant and boastful is going to win you influence and success, you're in for a rude awakening.

 

[Mr.Positive]

We obviously have different ideas of what modesty is. When I picture a modest man, I see someone who very rarely brags about himself; he lets others sing his praises. I see more self-assurance in someone who doesn't feel the need to constantly talk about how great they are.

It seems to me that you're confusing modesty with feebleness. Being modest doesn't mean that you have to be spineless; and being self-confident doesn't mean that you need to be boastful.

And if you think that being arrogant and boastful is going to win you influence and success, you're in for a rude awakening.

Well said Tyte. The article posted, equates modesty to being metro-sexual, lack of confidence, etc...it's a biased article.

I agree with your definition of modesty. In my experiences in life, the boastful guys tend to cower and waiver when their act doesn't work.

Combine modesty, strength, conviction..and you establish command presence. Respect is earned that way.

 

[perseverance]

I have found that this olde saying sums up those who toot their own horn religiously at any hour of the day, it goes a little like this; "Empty Vessels often make the loudest noise". I'm in full agreement with what tyte has said.

 

[FairShake]

I find nothing cooler than an accomplished person who is self-effacing about his or her success. It's so rare in those my age who are coming up but the most successful older people are all about it.

 

[Trader]

I was playing poker with a group of friends, and this one arrogant guy bluffed and got me to fold the best hand.

He threw his junk hand on the table, and arrogantly declared: 'Ha, bluffed you.'

I calmly responded: 'Pride cometh before the fall.' The girls nodded their head in agreement.

Later on in the night, in an even bigger pot, I bet on the river, he called. He proudly flipped over 2 pair triumphantly.

I discreetly showed my trips.

I repeated: 'Pride cometh before the fall.'

The girls were like 'Wow'

 

[Mr. Strange]

"Speak softly and carry a big stick". ~ Theodore Roosevelt

What you are will always be louder than what you say.

 

[CuriousGirl]

People like people who are genuinely modest, you can be genuinely modest but still mock-****y and confident, which girls also like.