She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I agree that this is an opportunity for sex. It is long overdue with her.
No. Do not send her anything. Ask her out. Plan the logistics. Take her somewhere close to your house or her house (because sex can happen if the night goes well). Pick her up if you can. On the date, escalate. Attempt to kiss her within 45 minutes. 30 is even better.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
We don't live in the same country and I won't be in that country for another 3 months, so have to get the rapport going if want to escalate (and I do)
Nah. Disappear. Reappear 2-3 weeks before you go to the country. You gain nothing by chatting with this girl for 3 months when you haven’t even banged yet.
Just why are you even bothering considering this?
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Why do we do the things we do? You could ask every guy that’s chasing tail here the very same question
If you were local to her, I would recommend acting on it. If she were local and she's unhappy in her relationship, she will be inclined to have sex with you if you present yourself as an compelling option for her.
You will not be in that country for another 3 months what is the point of building rapport?
I asked because this seems like a waste of time and energy. I go by the line by Dr. Robert Glover: “Walk through open doors”.
It does seem like a better option to reach out then, 3 months is nothing
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.