I found this article just a few minutes ago. Food for thought.
http://news.scotsman.com/scitech.cfm?id=567952006
http://news.scotsman.com/scitech.cfm?id=567952006
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
I didn't really read any of that, because of this sentence. Every dating expert since man started studying seduction techniques has agreed on this time frame. The paid experts, the "pay her to f*ck you" experts, the "Don Juan" experts... Even the female experts that give advice to men. The time frame is thirty seconds. So, instead of debating how much time you have, try figuring out what you're going to do with the time that you do have.Duke said:WTF? We have 30 seconds to IMPRESS women? What a bullsh!t frame.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Clarification:thederekeffect1 said:I didn't really read any of that, because of this sentence. Every dating expert since man started studying seduction techniques has agreed on this time frame. The paid experts, the "pay her to f*ck you" experts, the "Don Juan" experts... Even the female experts that give advice to men. The time frame is thirty seconds. So, instead of debating how much time you have, try figuring out what you're going to do with the time that you do have.
Amen.WTF? We have 30 seconds to IMPRESS women? What a bullsh!t frame.
AMENtwilight said:Trying to "impress" a girl will mess you up everytime. By approaching a girl with that frame you've lost already because that frame assumes she has more value than you. And as we know women don't feel attraction for men with less value than them (men who aren't the "prize").
Ah, well thanks for clearing that up "can't think of a user name", and I apologize for skipping over your post Duke.cant think of a user name said:Clarification:
when Duke said it was a "bullsh*t frame", he meant FRAME as in your FRAMING of the situation, the LENS through which you operate and see the world in, NOT time frame. Thus, Duke was NOT debating about the 30 seconds, he was debating about the need for guys to THINK that they have to IMPRESS women, rather than just being their own good self and sharing it with other people (he explains it much better).
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.