I found this article just a few minutes ago. Food for thought.
http://news.scotsman.com/scitech.cfm?id=567952006
http://news.scotsman.com/scitech.cfm?id=567952006
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I didn't really read any of that, because of this sentence. Every dating expert since man started studying seduction techniques has agreed on this time frame. The paid experts, the "pay her to f*ck you" experts, the "Don Juan" experts... Even the female experts that give advice to men. The time frame is thirty seconds. So, instead of debating how much time you have, try figuring out what you're going to do with the time that you do have.Duke said:WTF? We have 30 seconds to IMPRESS women? What a bullsh!t frame.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Clarification:thederekeffect1 said:I didn't really read any of that, because of this sentence. Every dating expert since man started studying seduction techniques has agreed on this time frame. The paid experts, the "pay her to f*ck you" experts, the "Don Juan" experts... Even the female experts that give advice to men. The time frame is thirty seconds. So, instead of debating how much time you have, try figuring out what you're going to do with the time that you do have.
Amen.WTF? We have 30 seconds to IMPRESS women? What a bullsh!t frame.
AMENtwilight said:Trying to "impress" a girl will mess you up everytime. By approaching a girl with that frame you've lost already because that frame assumes she has more value than you. And as we know women don't feel attraction for men with less value than them (men who aren't the "prize").
Ah, well thanks for clearing that up "can't think of a user name", and I apologize for skipping over your post Duke.cant think of a user name said:Clarification:
when Duke said it was a "bullsh*t frame", he meant FRAME as in your FRAMING of the situation, the LENS through which you operate and see the world in, NOT time frame. Thus, Duke was NOT debating about the 30 seconds, he was debating about the need for guys to THINK that they have to IMPRESS women, rather than just being their own good self and sharing it with other people (he explains it much better).
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.