I found this article just a few minutes ago. Food for thought.
http://news.scotsman.com/scitech.cfm?id=567952006
http://news.scotsman.com/scitech.cfm?id=567952006
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I didn't really read any of that, because of this sentence. Every dating expert since man started studying seduction techniques has agreed on this time frame. The paid experts, the "pay her to f*ck you" experts, the "Don Juan" experts... Even the female experts that give advice to men. The time frame is thirty seconds. So, instead of debating how much time you have, try figuring out what you're going to do with the time that you do have.Duke said:WTF? We have 30 seconds to IMPRESS women? What a bullsh!t frame.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Clarification:thederekeffect1 said:I didn't really read any of that, because of this sentence. Every dating expert since man started studying seduction techniques has agreed on this time frame. The paid experts, the "pay her to f*ck you" experts, the "Don Juan" experts... Even the female experts that give advice to men. The time frame is thirty seconds. So, instead of debating how much time you have, try figuring out what you're going to do with the time that you do have.
Amen.WTF? We have 30 seconds to IMPRESS women? What a bullsh!t frame.
AMENtwilight said:Trying to "impress" a girl will mess you up everytime. By approaching a girl with that frame you've lost already because that frame assumes she has more value than you. And as we know women don't feel attraction for men with less value than them (men who aren't the "prize").
Ah, well thanks for clearing that up "can't think of a user name", and I apologize for skipping over your post Duke.cant think of a user name said:Clarification:
when Duke said it was a "bullsh*t frame", he meant FRAME as in your FRAMING of the situation, the LENS through which you operate and see the world in, NOT time frame. Thus, Duke was NOT debating about the 30 seconds, he was debating about the need for guys to THINK that they have to IMPRESS women, rather than just being their own good self and sharing it with other people (he explains it much better).
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.