Men aren't lonely and single because they're toxic, violent and sexist; they're lonely and single because they're unattractive, broke and awkward

[tesla8520]

They say it's hard to find men of value this days

So they bring up the fact that the problem with men today, which keeps them low-value, is that they don't put in the effort to improve OBVIOUS things like Status, Looks, and Money. (I underlined OBVIOUS to illustrate how women say that a man shoudl be working on their personality, but then they means OBVIOUS things,, even though they've always said otherwise.)

Also, beign toxic, misogynistic, and patriarchal isn't really the root of the problem, so the fact that men treat women badly, that they're toxic, that they don't care, isn't really the root of the problem as they want us to believe.


Then:




After clarifying what makes a man valuable, as we told is primarily his appearance, followed by his status and money, not his behavior, it's also reported that once a woman enters a relationship with one of these men, "whom she doesn't really like that much," she will feel lonely, even if they are married and have children, because now He have this "high value" man, but she "feels" alone just because it's not what she wanted?

On top of that, we know that, there are many attractive men who don't get caged into LTR, precisely because women want more power in the relationship and are therefore insecure about being unable to control him, so women would select an unattractive guy for that role.

What are your opinions as a man on this? What do you think is true, and what would you like to add?

 

[jhonny9546]

This might be my opinion, but most men are single and lonely because of their standards.

Let me say they'll go for "aboundance," but they actually don't realize how few partners or getting laid they'll have in their lives.

Then, it's not about "quantity" but "consistency," so if you never had problems with getting sex from women, at least you always had one of your needs met.

For many, many men out there, they're not even getting that need met.

So we should also know how to tell ourselves that we have the capacity to lower our standards a little, rather than falling into rather long dry spells.

It's better to have your need for sex satisfied and accept some compromises, rather than having to focus and work on satisfying it.

That can take away more important attention that you should be dedicating to other things in your life.

 

[Solomon]

A lot of this hits. Looks, status, and money are the obvious entry points, especially with younger women. Physical attraction is king upfront.

But the main reason so many men are struggling is the mindset with women. Especially the ones overconsuming red pill content. Which manifests itself through how a man acts/speaks etc around women. Women can tell when a man loathes them or views them as beneath him. That subtle resentment leaks out and kills attraction fast. Just go on X or any social media and see how these dudes talk about women, or watch a red pill podcast and read the comments. It sounds like a mob of cackling incels.

Look at Gen Z men for example, most are unemployed or underemployed, a third still live with their parents, and they have the lowest testosterone levels since the Silent Generation. As a man you need to offer a woman something, even if it's just a good experience.
Fix the internal first. Stack your fitness, money, and abundance mindset, then approach from strength, not bitterness. Lock in.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I'm not sure.

But this part of your post stood out:

On top of that, we know that, there are many attractive men who don't get caged into LTR, precisely because women want more power in the relationship and are therefore insecure about being unable to control him, so women would select an unattractive guy for that role.

I have begun to increasingly suspect this is the case. However I don't think it's so much about how attractive the guy is but how weak willed he is. I would assume a woman would rather be with an attractive man who's spineless than an unattractive man who's spineless...

Nowadays, women do not seem to want a man with strong frame and boundaries, they want a man they can manipulate. Women are totally drunk with power right now from feminism, social media, etc. I think their main MO is to have all power in a relationship so they can use the security and validation that a spineless simp provides them in order to exercise their options. Basically, they want a security blanket they can fall back on so they can go cheat and monkey branch. It's absolutely sickening behavior.

Any woman who has lots of guy friends, lots of single hoe friends that she goes out with, travels alone, or who posts lots of thirst trap pics on social media should be 100% regarded by all men as recreational use only. But as it stands... most men nowadays are desperate, chicken**** spineless faggots, and they only end up rewarding this type of behavior from women...

 

[BadBoy89]

Men aren't lonely and single because they're toxic, violent and sexist; they're lonely and single because they're unattractive, broke and awkward

Women aren’t lonely and single because they are toxic, abusive, and entitled, they‘re lonely and single because they are unattractive, older, and non virgins.

 

[MatureDJ]

It's OVER for UglyPoorSpergCels.

 

[MatureDJ]

Look at Gen Z men for example, most are unemployed or underemployed, a third still live with their parents, and they have the lowest testosterone levels since the Silent Generation.

I wonder if the Warrior Generation had higher testosterone because their combat experience got their endocrine system to kick it up a notch.

 

[corrector]

When I go on bike rides by the rivers and lakes, I see couples everywhere I go. When I go grocery shopping I see couples everwhere I go. I look at the couples and they more or less look evenly maxxed, I rarely see "extremes" in public. I don't know what is this whole thing about women avoiding men. It looks like almost everyone is just coupled up in public.

 

[Bigpapa]

I wonder if the Warrior Generation had higher testosterone because their combat experience got their endocrine system to kick it up a notch.

Has to do with manual labor

even 20 - 30 years ago the vast majority of jobs would still require some sort of physical effort

these days there are not that many physical jobs. At least done by non - immigrants

 

[BaronOfHair]

@tesla8520 "What are your opinions as a man on this? What do you think is true, and what would you like to add?"

The very same comment I left in the reply section here

Entirely too many of us are content to simply theorize about things online, rather than actually going outdoors into the fresh air and sunlight, and pursuing our needs and desires. That's guaranteed to keep a fella broke, unattractive, and lonely

 

[BaronOfHair]

@Solomon "Especially the ones overconsuming red pill content. Which manifests itself through how a man acts/speaks etc around women. Women can tell when a man loathes them or views them as beneath him. That subtle resentment leaks out and kills attraction fast. Just go on X or any social media and see how these dudes talk about women, or watch a red pill podcast and read the comments. It sounds like a mob of cackling incels"

Awhle back, Vanity Fair ran an article bemoaning what's, in their view anyway, "the complicated legacy" of Charlie's Angels(2000)... In which they quoted a few words Drew Barrymore spoke at the time of the film's release:

"Look, I'm sorry, girls want love at the end of the day. We want sisterhood, we want to have each other's backs and then we want to meet back up in the morning and talk all about what happened at night with the boy"

Later on, this same article less than approvingly observed: "The Angels embrace their careers and sexuality openly, showing that being strong and independent does not exclude wanting romantic partnerships"

I'm starting to believe that it'd be highly astute for us "everyday men" to issue a similar riposte to The Ayatollahs of Red Pill Theology:
Come hell or high water, blooded heterosexual men desire women and affection from them. We yearn for brotherhood, to meet up at the bar in the afternoon and share just how fiercely we torched the sheets the night prior. Mature masculinity, by it's very definition = Embracing our sexuality openly, being strong and independent DOES NOT exclude desiring SOs, brief flings, and ONSs

 

[MatureDJ]

@Solomon "Especially the ones overconsuming red pill content. Which manifests itself through how a man acts/speaks etc around women. Women can tell when a man loathes them or views them as beneath him. That subtle resentment leaks out and kills attraction fast. Just go on X or any social media and see how these dudes talk about women, or watch a red pill podcast and read the comments. It sounds like a mob of cackling incels"

Awhle back, Vanity Fair ran an article bemoaning what's, in their view anyway, "the complicated legacy" of Charlie's Angels(2000)... In which they quoted a few words Drew Barrymore spoke at the time of the film's release:

"Look, I'm sorry, girls want love at the end of the day. We want sisterhood, we want to have each other's backs and then we want to meet back up in the morning and talk all about what happened at night with the boy"

Later on, this same article less than approvingly observed: "The Angels embrace their careers and sexuality openly, showing that being strong and independent does not exclude wanting romantic partnerships"

I'm starting to believe that it'd be highly astute for us "everyday men" to issue a similar riposte to The Ayatollahs of Red Pill Theology:
Come hell or high water, blooded heterosexual men desire women and affection from them. We yearn for brotherhood, to meet up at the bar in the afternoon and share just how fiercely we torched the sheets the night prior. Mature masculinity, by it's very definition = Embracing our sexuality openly, being strong and independent DOES NOT exclude desiring SOs, brief flings, and ONSs

I must be an old fart, because when I think of Charlie's Angels, I think of this: What a great time in the 1970's T&A era!

 

[quodlibet]

I'm Asian. Some of my friends and friends of friends are incels. You have 40 year old guys who've never been on a date.

The #1 reason incels are incels ISN'T their appearance. Plenty of ugly, short, bald, etc. guys have girlfriends and wives. Lack of money isn't the reason either. Poor or rich, the vast majority of men get into relationships.

The #1 reason is, incels have poor social skills and unwilling to improve. I blame technology for this.

Before the internet era, people socialized in-person. You had no choice. You don't get to stay home to surf the internet and chat with others online. You don't get to stay home and troll with like-minded guys in a circle jerk thinking being an incel is normal.

Before the internet era, if you're weird as f-ck, you rarely find others who are also weird as f-ck. You improve instead.

The rise of technology directly corrolates directly to the rise of incel-dom.

 

[Slowhandluke]

The rise of technology directly corrolates directly to the rise of incel-dom.

correlation does not imply causation. for example, rise of the body count of the average woman also correlate to the rise of incel-dom.

oh, don't forget in some religious cultures that also experienced the rise of technology, there doesn't exist incel-dom. e.g., Islamic countries, some Christians sects in the USA, etc...

 

[BaronOfHair]

I must be an old fart, because when I think of Charlie's Angels, I think of this: What a great time in the 1970's T&A era!

View attachment 15624

I've made the following observation more than once previously, nonetheless I believe it needs to be made again:

When the most prominent "men's advocates" really do look and speak like dude who's being lampooned here

(They're Manosphere equivalents to Andrea Dworkin, in other words)

We could use our own equivalents to The Angels, promoting men's self-empowerment

 

[Solomon]

I'm Asian. Some of my friends and friends of friends are incels. You have 40 year old guys who've never been on a date.

The #1 reason incels are incels ISN'T their appearance. Plenty of ugly, short, bald, etc. guys have girlfriends and wives. Lack of money isn't the reason either. Poor or rich, the vast majority of men get into relationships.

The #1 reason is, incels have poor social skills and unwilling to improve. I blame technology for this.

Before the internet era, people socialized in-person. You had no choice. You don't get to stay home to surf the internet and chat with others online. You don't get to stay home and troll with like-minded guys in a circle jerk thinking being an incel is normal.

Before the internet era, if you're weird as f-ck, you rarely find others who are also weird as f-ck. You improve instead.

The rise of technology directly corrolates directly to the rise of incel-dom.

correlation does not imply causation. for example, rise of the body count of the average woman also correlate to the rise of incel-dom.

oh, don't forget in some religious cultures that also experienced the rise of technology, there doesn't exist incel-dom. e.g., Islamic countries, some Christians sects in the USA, etc...

Yeah correlation aint the same as causation thats fair. Body counts going up around the same time as the tech boom doesnt automatically mean one caused the other either. Both things happened and both can matter. But the tech point isnt just that phones and internet exist. Its that they made it super easy to stay home forever and find a whole group of dudes who will tell you its not your fault and nothing is fixable. Back in the day if you were awkward you still had to go outside and deal with people. Now you can just log on and stay in that bubble for years i.e. twtitter, youtube, reddit etc

The body count thing is real though. When more women are spinning through more guys the leftover pool for regular dudes gets thinner and that can leave a lot of men frustrated. Still does not change the fact that the ones who actually get out of that situation are usually the ones who work on talking to people handling rejection and not treating every L like proof the world is against them.

Those religious cultures are a good example. They got phones and internet too but the family pressure and community norms still push people toward relationships so the pure online incel identity does not take over the same way. Structure matters.

So yeah both sides got pieces of it. Tech made the isolation and the echo chamber way easier. Mating market changes raised the difficulty. At the end of the day though most long term cases still come down to weak social skills and not wanting to put in the work to get better.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Men are lonely because it's easier to do nothing than to enter a feedback loop that gives it to you in real time, can be harsh, and requires you to be willing to actually make significant changes if things are not going well until you get to a point where they are.

There is a steep learning curve in the beginning and it requires a lot of work initially without seeing much in the way of results. İt also requires very honest discussions with yourself that many people aren't comfortable with having.

This causes many to simply give up because it's "too hard" or "too much work". Unwillingness to become comfortable with being uncomfortable is probably the biggest one, however. Most people's lives are controlled by their own inmate fears.

 

[Bigpapa]

correlation does not imply causation. for example, rise of the body count of the average woman also correlate to the rise of incel-dom.

from my point of view, which comes from the field, I Really doubt that the body count of women on average increased . From my point of view it decreased

you will always have a small % of women who are mentally ill or just h0es whom have a high number of partners. But I do not think that the number increased

most women suffer one way or the other of depression or anxiety, and this decreases their libido. Same with birth control, which strips away the most horny 1-2 weeks of women

I also feel that the younger generation millennials and Gen Z are also very fragile, something bad happens to them then they become depressed or hyper vigilant. Women again whom are hyper vigilant are difficult to become relaxed in order to have sex

all in all, I think that humans just like the other animals, once they are in captivity ( cities ) they become depressed and lose their libido

if you have any stats in this regards, please let me know

 

[Hamurabimbi]

The #1 reason. Mental illness. I have friends who are unattractive. They have a GF/wife. But the ones with MH issues are incels.

 

[Slowhandluke]

So yeah both sides got pieces of it. Tech made the isolation and the echo chamber way easier. Mating market changes raised the difficulty. At the end of the day though most long term cases still come down to weak social skills and not wanting to put in the work to get better.

Thought experiment: imagine a parallel world where the hottest women (the female chads) were the ones who wanted to date around and have sex all the time with all the men they could get their hands upon - even AVERAGE men. They plow though men (even average men), having promiscuous sex, pumping and dumping.. These hot women date multiple guys at once, or serially, etc... promising a relationship but ultimately just stringing the guys along.

Would we still blame the AVERAGE WOMEN for not being able to date guys because most guys are getting with the female chads? would we still blame average women and tell them to be more prettier, have bigger boobs, be more skinny, be more feminine, etc. to obviously, compete with the female chads who may naturally be genetically more gifted (genes that make them skinner, prettier, be taller, etc.)? The average woman wouldnt be able to compete with a magazine model...... and in real life, the AVERAGE cannot compete with the male chad.

in societies where restrictions are put on male chads (e.g., religious, etc.), there are less incells.