"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Men and Women don't need each other except for one basic need.

jhonny9546

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For almost their entire existence, women have needed men. While men could create a life for themselves in the real world through their actions, women could not, making them totally dependent on them. Consequently, women had to find a man and make him happy. They had to spoil men, cook for them, have sex with them (even if they didn't want it), and take care of them—all so they wouldn't die. While you may never have done anything to "keep" a woman or make her dependent on you in any way, their entire bioevolutionary history is characterized by the fact that, in one way or another, they were "owned" or "held" by men.

But afterward, with men no longer needed (or so women think), they could choose the right man instead of being forced or forced to accept the wrong one. This transformed the contract between men and women from dependence and prostitution to a contract of choice or "voluntariness." And if you stop and think about it for a moment, what should have resulted from this would have been a marked improvement in conditions between the sexes.
Aaron’s view is largely based on the idea of the “old bargain”: the man provides and achieves, while the woman takes care of the home, supports him, and brings intimacy and companionship. But today, most of the practical things traditionally provided by a partner, cooking, cleaning, laundry, financial support, can be done independently or outsourced. (soon there might be robots doing that for you).

The same applies to women.
A mature man or woman should be able to take care of themselves and have their basic needs met without depending on a partner. Otherwise, the relationship is based on dependency.

Once two people are independent, what they truly need from each other is what they cannot fully provide themselves: companionship, intimacy, sex, affection, and a genuine emotional connection.

That, to me, is the real goal of a relationship/life.
You work on yourself, build a stable life, take care of your responsibilities, and eventually meet someone who has done the same.

At that point, you don't need a “trad wife” or a traditional provider role to justify the relationship.
If she enjoys cooking, cleaning, or taking care of you while you earn more, that's perfectly fine, but it's not the foundation.

The foundation should be genuine attraction, intimacy, companionship, and vulnerability.
Sex shouldn't be a chore or a form of manipulation, like in many LTR's and Marriages.

A relationship between two mature, independent people can therefore feel far deeper and more meaningful than one built on dependency or on anxious/avoidant strategies.
Even if it lasts only a few years, it can feel like a lifetime, while a relationship lasting decades can just feel empty.

As men, we're aware about how women chose, and then how they want to make that man "win".
It's like they form a team of two. Themselves vs the world.

For this reason women will be on first line for a specific kind of man, and do whatever he need in order to accomplish their goals.
So they will do sex, even when they don't want to, they will manipulate, just because these women "need" someone else to fullfil their needs, so they lean on men, when instead, they can, and should, satisfy their needs by themselves, and become responsible for their life.

Only at that point you can find a very good woman who is not manipulating you like a "desperate" non responsible woman would do,.

Curious about hearing from you.


ps: the basic need it's having a companion from the other sex understanding your position without having to manipulate or use tactics, so that both of you have your needs met, except for intimacy and true vulnerability.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

BaronOfHair

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Life in Post-Industrial civilizations hing is now less of a matter of "need", and more a matter of voluntary choice... That's in MOST areas, not just dating and mating

Such developments are ones that were unimaginable to most folks who lived prior to The 20th Century, and cause for us moderns who enjoy them to celebrate
 

zekko

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In olden days, women needed a guy to patch the roof or whatnot. Now they call a contractor.
 
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