This is a general question that I was considering after some recent experiences. Is it better to let a girl wait after a good first experience before asking her out, or should I "strike while the iron is hot"? I know the conventional wisdom is to wait, to not seem too desperate or interested. At the same time, I have had girls lost interest in the delay between the first good experience and me asking them out. I think this is a particular risk with attractive women, as they get a LOT of offers and opportunities offered to them on a daily basis. Thoughts?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Make a girl wait, or strike when the iron is hot?
- Thread starter Firefly
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
nismo-4
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Alpha male- Care less
Beta male- Care ful
Answer? Read my sig.
This "risk" is with any woman. Fortune favors the bold. Men take charge. Boys wait and whine. Man or boy, which do you choose?
Case closed. Post your results.
Beta male- Care ful
Answer? Read my sig.
This "risk" is with any woman. Fortune favors the bold. Men take charge. Boys wait and whine. Man or boy, which do you choose?
Case closed. Post your results.
The "rule" to not contact for a few days is to stop needy guys going over the top with constantly trying to contact her. For experienced guys that know what they are doing, they should feel far more comfortable acting quickly whilst her interest level is high (but then, NOT showing signs of neediness).
If the girls interest level is certaintly high, then I'll usually call her quickly to set up a future meeting (scheduled at least a few days in the future, never today/tomorrow). If she was just a girl whos number I'd got without having a chance to build up much rapport, I tend to wait a few days first.
If the girls interest level is certaintly high, then I'll usually call her quickly to set up a future meeting (scheduled at least a few days in the future, never today/tomorrow). If she was just a girl whos number I'd got without having a chance to build up much rapport, I tend to wait a few days first.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
DJ SO STEVE
Don Juan
If the girl is interested in you after the first date, message her the next day to find out when she's free during the week and ask to meet up. If she makes time for you and shows enthusiasm she's interested, if she says she's not sure that means she is not interested and you should continue spinning plates.
Be sure to make some advancements on her though, because you don't want her to think of you as a friend.
Be sure to make some advancements on her though, because you don't want her to think of you as a friend.