"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Look who contacted me @ BookOfMatches - I think I'm going to puke

MatureDJ

MatureDJ

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http://www.bookofmatches.com/profile/page/WBBW4BBC.htm

:eek: :eek: :eek:

What is with these grotesque women? I suppose that they figure that some guy who is so incredibly sexually frustrated that he figures a "heart & a hole" is better than his friend Mr. Hand will agree to meet with them.

As for her self-evaluation and expectations ...

Very good looks
Sensually hot

I am fun and expect to be treated like a Goddess.
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:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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P

Purefilth

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MatureDJ said:
http://www.bookofmatches.com/profile/page/WBBW4BBC.htm

:eek: :eek: :eek:

What is with these grotesque women? I suppose that they figure that some guy who is so incredibly sexually frustrated that he figures a "heart & a hole" is better than his friend Mr. Hand will agree to meet with them.

As for her self-evaluation and expectations ...


:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
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response rate 61%?!?!?!

she can afford to be that picky?:nervous: :crackup:
 
Billtx49

Billtx49

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The sad fact is that she might look somewhat decent if she could keep her mouth shut at the dinner table more...
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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?

( . )( . )

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Do you question your manhood?
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Yeah I got a question for my manhood.

When this behemoth rolls off will you ever function again?


Cancer
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Star signs? Your fvcking a walrus with lipstick. It's safe to say any man willing to mount a giant ball of fat could care less about which planet your aligned with.


This has got to be a piss take. I think this is someone just having a laugh.
 
zekko

zekko

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So, did you F close?
 
R

Robert28

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What's grossing me out is all that sex talk by her and giving me a mental image. :eek: :eek:
 
Z

Zarky

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I am fun and expect to be treated like a Goddess.
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Any time a chick says that, you know she's been pumped and dumped a billions times and generally treated like sh*t by every guy she's ever run into.

Fun to pretend though, I guess.

And Robert28, why don't you use the original "ejaculates" rather than "shoots out" in your sig? The humor hinges quite a bit on that word.
 
R

Robert28

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Zarky said:
Any time a chick says that, you know she's been pumped and dumped a billions times and generally treated like sh*t by every guy she's ever run into.

Fun to pretend though, I guess.

And Robert28, why don't you use the original "ejaculates" rather than "shoots out" in your sig? The humor hinges quite a bit on that word.
Click to expand...

haha I see your point. I just copied it exactly how it was worded when I read it.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Who Dares Win

Who Dares Win

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It cannot be true, probably someone is making a prank.

Anyway I would be scared from such ugly individual, if she was to run toward me I would probably run around a table.
 
S

Scormus

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bbc?

Are you kidding me even the most virile and horny teenager pumped with Viagra would shrivel at her ugliness.
 
0

020204

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Sounds like they want Brad Pitt, are only dishing up Roseanne Bar.
 
H

HalfAddict

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http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Twisted_Brandy?cf=messages

Look at this one, she looks like a dude...by her own choice clearly. She's not quite the land whale you captured there, but I haven't the slightest why she thinks I'd respond to her....

**** internet dating. I just moved to Florida, trying to network out of the fifteen girls I would have even considered, two messaged me back, none of them panned out when I went for the # and quite frankly I am kind of glad... I'm just gonna work some 60 hour weeks instead.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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VladPatton

VladPatton

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I wouldn't fück that thing with a rented cὀck.


That profile can't be real.
 
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