"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Look who contacted me @ BookOfMatches - I think I'm going to puke

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
12,750
Reaction score
5,164
http://www.bookofmatches.com/profile/page/WBBW4BBC.htm

:eek: :eek: :eek:

What is with these grotesque women? I suppose that they figure that some guy who is so incredibly sexually frustrated that he figures a "heart & a hole" is better than his friend Mr. Hand will agree to meet with them.

As for her self-evaluation and expectations ...

Very good looks
Sensually hot

I am fun and expect to be treated like a Goddess.
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Purefilth

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 13, 2012
Messages
2,749
Reaction score
73
Location
BEAST MODE [ON]
MatureDJ said:
http://www.bookofmatches.com/profile/page/WBBW4BBC.htm

:eek: :eek: :eek:

What is with these grotesque women? I suppose that they figure that some guy who is so incredibly sexually frustrated that he figures a "heart & a hole" is better than his friend Mr. Hand will agree to meet with them.

As for her self-evaluation and expectations ...


:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
response rate 61%?!?!?!

she can afford to be that picky?:nervous: :crackup:
 

Billtx49

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 23, 2013
Messages
5,989
Reaction score
5,410
Location
DFW
The sad fact is that she might look somewhat decent if she could keep her mouth shut at the dinner table more...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

( . )( . )

Banned
Joined
Dec 31, 2002
Messages
4,873
Reaction score
177
Location
Cobra Kai dojo
Do you question your manhood?
Yeah I got a question for my manhood.

When this behemoth rolls off will you ever function again?


Star signs? Your fvcking a walrus with lipstick. It's safe to say any man willing to mount a giant ball of fat could care less about which planet your aligned with.


This has got to be a piss take. I think this is someone just having a laugh.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,799
Reaction score
10,029
So, did you F close?
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,018
Reaction score
5,339
What's grossing me out is all that sex talk by her and giving me a mental image. :eek: :eek:
 

Zarky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 13, 2010
Messages
3,213
Reaction score
89
Location
SoCal
I am fun and expect to be treated like a Goddess.
Any time a chick says that, you know she's been pumped and dumped a billions times and generally treated like sh*t by every guy she's ever run into.

Fun to pretend though, I guess.

And Robert28, why don't you use the original "ejaculates" rather than "shoots out" in your sig? The humor hinges quite a bit on that word.
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,018
Reaction score
5,339
Zarky said:
Any time a chick says that, you know she's been pumped and dumped a billions times and generally treated like sh*t by every guy she's ever run into.

Fun to pretend though, I guess.

And Robert28, why don't you use the original "ejaculates" rather than "shoots out" in your sig? The humor hinges quite a bit on that word.

haha I see your point. I just copied it exactly how it was worded when I read it.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2012
Messages
7,426
Reaction score
5,803
It cannot be true, probably someone is making a prank.

Anyway I would be scared from such ugly individual, if she was to run toward me I would probably run around a table.
 

Scormus

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 22, 2012
Messages
280
Reaction score
9
bbc?

Are you kidding me even the most virile and horny teenager pumped with Viagra would shrivel at her ugliness.
 

020204

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 17, 2005
Messages
271
Reaction score
6
Sounds like they want Brad Pitt, are only dishing up Roseanne Bar.
 

HalfAddict

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 23, 2005
Messages
773
Reaction score
29
Age
43
Location
Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the pl
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Twisted_Brandy?cf=messages

Look at this one, she looks like a dude...by her own choice clearly. She's not quite the land whale you captured there, but I haven't the slightest why she thinks I'd respond to her....

**** internet dating. I just moved to Florida, trying to network out of the fifteen girls I would have even considered, two messaged me back, none of them panned out when I went for the # and quite frankly I am kind of glad... I'm just gonna work some 60 hour weeks instead.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2012
Messages
3,246
Reaction score
232
Location
NYC
I wouldn't fück that thing with a rented cὀck.


That profile can't be real.
 
Top