The Onion is always hilarious.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/sexy_career_woman_to_take_hot_bath
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/sexy_career_woman_to_take_hot_bath
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
LOLS : Sexy Career Woman To Take Hot Bath After Stressful Day
- Thread starter Warrior74
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
DMSR76
Senior Don Juan
This is Hilarious!!!
scrouds
Master Don Juan
That was hot, anyone have a tissue?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
" .. the distant promise of warm suds.." priceless !
Ah, this was written with a tongue firmly planted in the author's cheek.
Surely it is a clever parody of those Cosmo articles which lavish praise on women who actually haul their entitled azzes into the office to make a living through their own efforts.
"Dynamic, independent, resouceful and strong" and similar applause is sprinked over women who can actually pay their own bills. Of course such devotion to self sufficiency should not go unrecognised or unrewarded, hence all those 'self care' articles . However, flip the page and there it is ,"How to marry THAT wealthy hot guy of your dreams."
Some things never change.
Ah, this was written with a tongue firmly planted in the author's cheek.
Surely it is a clever parody of those Cosmo articles which lavish praise on women who actually haul their entitled azzes into the office to make a living through their own efforts.
"Dynamic, independent, resouceful and strong" and similar applause is sprinked over women who can actually pay their own bills. Of course such devotion to self sufficiency should not go unrecognised or unrewarded, hence all those 'self care' articles . However, flip the page and there it is ,"How to marry THAT wealthy hot guy of your dreams."
Some things never change.
Last edited: