MatureDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2006
- Messages
- 12,750
- Reaction score
- 5,164
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Let's hope you are never this hard up
- Thread starter MatureDJ
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2005
- Messages
- 4,476
- Reaction score
- 182
What was he supposed to do?
It was wearing its skimpiest table cloth!
It was wearing its skimpiest table cloth!
ThunderMaverick
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2004
- Messages
- 1,945
- Reaction score
- 70
- Age
- 45
He's married. That explains it.
I remember a story miy sister told me growing up. She said she knew this guy who would put two raw steaks between the mattress and the box spring of his bed and f**k it sideways. s
That story still makes me laugh to this day. Some bony dude (probably bald) bare naked hitting his bed from the side.
Hahahaha naaasty!
I remember a story miy sister told me growing up. She said she knew this guy who would put two raw steaks between the mattress and the box spring of his bed and f**k it sideways. s
That story still makes me laugh to this day. Some bony dude (probably bald) bare naked hitting his bed from the side.
Hahahaha naaasty!
His Top Ten defenses are:
10. "It was just a f#cking picnic. I mean that literally".
9. "I was whipping up a batch of my special 'no mayo potato salad' sauce, a family favorite!".
8. "I'm trying to scare the ants away. And it was working, too."
7. "Where's the crime if the table consents?"
6. "I'm the pervert? Why don't you arrest those voyeuristic, video-taping neighbors of mine?"
5. "This is Bellevue, Ohio. What else is there here to do for kicks?"
4. "Give me a break. This is the first time I've ever f#cked anything that didn't give me a hard time back."
3. "You think this is something? You oughtta see my weenie roast."
2. "But the table's all I have left! I pimped my lawn chair out to Elliot Spitzer for $4000."
and his number one top defense:
1. "That's the picnic table? Oh sh1t! I thought it was my wife. They're both that hard, flat and cold."
10. "It was just a f#cking picnic. I mean that literally".
9. "I was whipping up a batch of my special 'no mayo potato salad' sauce, a family favorite!".
8. "I'm trying to scare the ants away. And it was working, too."
7. "Where's the crime if the table consents?"
6. "I'm the pervert? Why don't you arrest those voyeuristic, video-taping neighbors of mine?"
5. "This is Bellevue, Ohio. What else is there here to do for kicks?"
4. "Give me a break. This is the first time I've ever f#cked anything that didn't give me a hard time back."
3. "You think this is something? You oughtta see my weenie roast."
2. "But the table's all I have left! I pimped my lawn chair out to Elliot Spitzer for $4000."
and his number one top defense:
1. "That's the picnic table? Oh sh1t! I thought it was my wife. They're both that hard, flat and cold."
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
This is a weird story, but it's the implications that bothers me. I assume he was in his own back yard. What the hell is this neighbor doing videotaping him? They were probably thinking I caught the predophile predator now hahaha. As weird as it was, he was in his own backyard doing his thing, and because he lives "near" an elementary school he can be charged with felony public indecency? You got to love the justice sytem. I didn't even know public indecency could rise to a felony. I betcha if a woman went out in her yard some sunny day and went to town with a cucumber or a dildo she wouldn't be charged with anything let alone a felony. It just seems like the mentality of the criminalization of male sexuality. I'm not even saying there shouldn't be a double standard with men and women exposing themself, but not as extreme as this. It has broader implications.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Having Sex With Picnic Table
His wife has got to feel sexy.
His wife has got to feel sexy.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Maybe THIS was his picnic table:
http://www.jaunted.com/files/3/erotic_furniture.jpg
http://www.jaunted.com/files/3/erotic_furniture.jpg
Mr.Positive
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2007
- Messages
- 1,855
- Reaction score
- 99
This is a hot table. Now this table could be a 9, IMO.Blackmm said:
I think there should have been a picture of the table in the news article to be entirely accurate, because I think this was done out of convenience, so I'd guess the table was a 6.5 at best.