CoRVeTTe6699
Don Juan
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should i let my girlfriend of 11th months go to bars/clubs without me?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Let her go?
- Thread starter CoRVeTTe6699
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
brenbaus
Senior Don Juan
if you are confident that she and you are going strong and she has attraction for you still, let her go, if you act jelous, she will leave you, let her go
BackToTheMack
Senior Don Juan
why is she going by her self anyway?
brenbaus
Senior Don Juan
He didnt say she was going byherself, I think she would go with some girlfriends or something, just like we have guys night out, they do have girls night outOriginally posted by BackToTheMack
why is she going by her self anyway?
CoRVeTTe6699
Don Juan
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she goes to the clubs off campus with her girlfriends where all the kids from our college goes. then theres guys there who know her and ****....everyone knows one another.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
brenbaus
Senior Don Juan
Just let her go dude, if you are really worried she is going to do something, talk to one of her girlfriends and ask her to keep tabs, if you know she is coming home to you, let her go
BackToTheMack
Senior Don Juan
What i ment by "by herself" was why is she goign without him.Originally posted by brenbaus
He didnt say she was going byherself, I think she would go with some girlfriends or something, just like we have guys night out, they do have girls night out
I would let her go do you trust her?
BackToTheMack
Senior Don Juan
Most likely the friend will tell the GF and she will be like "you dont trust me" ect ect. If you want to keep tabs you have to ask a guy u know that is going to be there.Originally posted by brenbaus
Just let her go dude, if you are really worried she is going to do something, talk to one of her girlfriends and ask her to keep tabs, if you know she is coming home to you, let her go
brenbaus
Senior Don Juan
true nuff, they do have a tendancy to tell each other what guys do to themOriginally posted by BackToTheMack
Most likely the friend will tell the GF and she will be like "you dont trust me" ect ect. If you want to keep tabs you have to ask a guy u know that is going to be there.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
What? So...you're girlfriend is no longer ever allowed to go out without you?! What kind of relationship is that? If you're relationship is in a place where you are worried about her cheating on you, then you've got bigger problems than that. You can't make women your doormat. Of course you should let her go. If she's going to go out and cheat on, she would have found another way to do it anyway. This crap about not letting her go is stupid.
Shoul you be allowed to go to a bar with your guy friends without her? OF COURSE. Are you going to bang the first chick that flirts with you at the bar? no.
Shoul you be allowed to go to a bar with your guy friends without her? OF COURSE. Are you going to bang the first chick that flirts with you at the bar? no.
RaWBLooD
Master Don Juan
for 3 reasonsOriginally posted by CoRVeTTe6699
should i let my girlfriend of 11th months go to bars/clubs without me?
- you can go to clubs without her with no questions asked
- if you control a person when not in such a relationship ( a relationship between a couple is not and should never be such a relationship )
- shes gonna go without you knowing and probably get laid with a guy just cause ur bein a fag about it.
and if u happen to break up
SO WHAT?
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
she can do whaveter she wants...short of cheating on you.
trust her.
trust her.
MindOverMatter
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 21, 2004
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how often does she go?
if you dont let her go your gonna screw it up anyway!!!!!
no one likes to be controled, all the guys who tell u not to let her go are younger.... i've been through this a few times &
FACT: if you dont let her go out & experience it she will be missing a big part of what being young and alive is all about...she will hate you for that, prob leave you, and then have no BF & no reason not to go home with some random guy.
FACT: if you let her go you loose control, but how much control do you really have anyway? If she wants to have a 1 night stand or a piece on the side, she's gonna do it if you know about it or not.
this is the downside in falling for a chick!
no one likes to be controled, all the guys who tell u not to let her go are younger.... i've been through this a few times &
FACT: if you dont let her go out & experience it she will be missing a big part of what being young and alive is all about...she will hate you for that, prob leave you, and then have no BF & no reason not to go home with some random guy.
FACT: if you let her go you loose control, but how much control do you really have anyway? If she wants to have a 1 night stand or a piece on the side, she's gonna do it if you know about it or not.
this is the downside in falling for a chick!
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Lost In the Seas
Senior Don Juan
u two have been dating for almost a year now and u still don't trust her going out with her friends? Let her go as a test, if she doesn't cheat on you it means she's loyal, for now, and if she does cheat on u u will save urself a lot of effort and trouble by ending the relationship early.
For starters....you can't "let" or "not let" another person do something. It's up to them entirely whether they do something or not. You have no control over that and the younger you realize that the only person you can control is yourself the better off you'll be.
I think what you meant to ask is should you dump her or threaten to dump her if she goes out with her girlfriends without you going along. The answer to that is probably not. If she's never given you reason to not trust her then you have no valid reason to even be asking about this. Let's get to the real meat of the matter here...
Either you are so insecure that you feel threatened by your girlfriend being in the presence of other guys without you present or your girlfriend has cheated on you and given you reason to not trust her.
The solution will be found when you figure out the reason you felt compelled to ask this quesiton. If it's just an issue of you being insecure, then you need to get a grip on the urge to control and dictate where another person can and can't go if you are involved with them...that will destroy any relationship in no time at all. If you GENUINELY have reason not to trust her because she has cheated on you in the past then I'd have to ask why you are with her if you can't trust her anyway.
Happy problem solving...
I think what you meant to ask is should you dump her or threaten to dump her if she goes out with her girlfriends without you going along. The answer to that is probably not. If she's never given you reason to not trust her then you have no valid reason to even be asking about this. Let's get to the real meat of the matter here...
Either you are so insecure that you feel threatened by your girlfriend being in the presence of other guys without you present or your girlfriend has cheated on you and given you reason to not trust her.
The solution will be found when you figure out the reason you felt compelled to ask this quesiton. If it's just an issue of you being insecure, then you need to get a grip on the urge to control and dictate where another person can and can't go if you are involved with them...that will destroy any relationship in no time at all. If you GENUINELY have reason not to trust her because she has cheated on you in the past then I'd have to ask why you are with her if you can't trust her anyway.
Happy problem solving...