CoRVeTTe6699
Don Juan
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should i let my girlfriend of 11th months go to bars/clubs without me?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Let her go?
- Thread starter CoRVeTTe6699
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
brenbaus
Senior Don Juan
if you are confident that she and you are going strong and she has attraction for you still, let her go, if you act jelous, she will leave you, let her go
BackToTheMack
Senior Don Juan
why is she going by her self anyway?
brenbaus
Senior Don Juan
He didnt say she was going byherself, I think she would go with some girlfriends or something, just like we have guys night out, they do have girls night outOriginally posted by BackToTheMack
why is she going by her self anyway?
CoRVeTTe6699
Don Juan
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she goes to the clubs off campus with her girlfriends where all the kids from our college goes. then theres guys there who know her and ****....everyone knows one another.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
brenbaus
Senior Don Juan
Just let her go dude, if you are really worried she is going to do something, talk to one of her girlfriends and ask her to keep tabs, if you know she is coming home to you, let her go
BackToTheMack
Senior Don Juan
What i ment by "by herself" was why is she goign without him.Originally posted by brenbaus
He didnt say she was going byherself, I think she would go with some girlfriends or something, just like we have guys night out, they do have girls night out
I would let her go do you trust her?
BackToTheMack
Senior Don Juan
Most likely the friend will tell the GF and she will be like "you dont trust me" ect ect. If you want to keep tabs you have to ask a guy u know that is going to be there.Originally posted by brenbaus
Just let her go dude, if you are really worried she is going to do something, talk to one of her girlfriends and ask her to keep tabs, if you know she is coming home to you, let her go
brenbaus
Senior Don Juan
true nuff, they do have a tendancy to tell each other what guys do to themOriginally posted by BackToTheMack
Most likely the friend will tell the GF and she will be like "you dont trust me" ect ect. If you want to keep tabs you have to ask a guy u know that is going to be there.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
What? So...you're girlfriend is no longer ever allowed to go out without you?! What kind of relationship is that? If you're relationship is in a place where you are worried about her cheating on you, then you've got bigger problems than that. You can't make women your doormat. Of course you should let her go. If she's going to go out and cheat on, she would have found another way to do it anyway. This crap about not letting her go is stupid.
Shoul you be allowed to go to a bar with your guy friends without her? OF COURSE. Are you going to bang the first chick that flirts with you at the bar? no.
Shoul you be allowed to go to a bar with your guy friends without her? OF COURSE. Are you going to bang the first chick that flirts with you at the bar? no.
RaWBLooD
Master Don Juan
for 3 reasonsOriginally posted by CoRVeTTe6699
should i let my girlfriend of 11th months go to bars/clubs without me?
- you can go to clubs without her with no questions asked
- if you control a person when not in such a relationship ( a relationship between a couple is not and should never be such a relationship )
- shes gonna go without you knowing and probably get laid with a guy just cause ur bein a fag about it.
and if u happen to break up
SO WHAT?
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
she can do whaveter she wants...short of cheating on you.
trust her.
trust her.
MindOverMatter
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 21, 2004
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how often does she go?
if you dont let her go your gonna screw it up anyway!!!!!
no one likes to be controled, all the guys who tell u not to let her go are younger.... i've been through this a few times &
FACT: if you dont let her go out & experience it she will be missing a big part of what being young and alive is all about...she will hate you for that, prob leave you, and then have no BF & no reason not to go home with some random guy.
FACT: if you let her go you loose control, but how much control do you really have anyway? If she wants to have a 1 night stand or a piece on the side, she's gonna do it if you know about it or not.
this is the downside in falling for a chick!
no one likes to be controled, all the guys who tell u not to let her go are younger.... i've been through this a few times &
FACT: if you dont let her go out & experience it she will be missing a big part of what being young and alive is all about...she will hate you for that, prob leave you, and then have no BF & no reason not to go home with some random guy.
FACT: if you let her go you loose control, but how much control do you really have anyway? If she wants to have a 1 night stand or a piece on the side, she's gonna do it if you know about it or not.
this is the downside in falling for a chick!
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Lost In the Seas
Senior Don Juan
u two have been dating for almost a year now and u still don't trust her going out with her friends? Let her go as a test, if she doesn't cheat on you it means she's loyal, for now, and if she does cheat on u u will save urself a lot of effort and trouble by ending the relationship early.
For starters....you can't "let" or "not let" another person do something. It's up to them entirely whether they do something or not. You have no control over that and the younger you realize that the only person you can control is yourself the better off you'll be.
I think what you meant to ask is should you dump her or threaten to dump her if she goes out with her girlfriends without you going along. The answer to that is probably not. If she's never given you reason to not trust her then you have no valid reason to even be asking about this. Let's get to the real meat of the matter here...
Either you are so insecure that you feel threatened by your girlfriend being in the presence of other guys without you present or your girlfriend has cheated on you and given you reason to not trust her.
The solution will be found when you figure out the reason you felt compelled to ask this quesiton. If it's just an issue of you being insecure, then you need to get a grip on the urge to control and dictate where another person can and can't go if you are involved with them...that will destroy any relationship in no time at all. If you GENUINELY have reason not to trust her because she has cheated on you in the past then I'd have to ask why you are with her if you can't trust her anyway.
Happy problem solving...
I think what you meant to ask is should you dump her or threaten to dump her if she goes out with her girlfriends without you going along. The answer to that is probably not. If she's never given you reason to not trust her then you have no valid reason to even be asking about this. Let's get to the real meat of the matter here...
Either you are so insecure that you feel threatened by your girlfriend being in the presence of other guys without you present or your girlfriend has cheated on you and given you reason to not trust her.
The solution will be found when you figure out the reason you felt compelled to ask this quesiton. If it's just an issue of you being insecure, then you need to get a grip on the urge to control and dictate where another person can and can't go if you are involved with them...that will destroy any relationship in no time at all. If you GENUINELY have reason not to trust her because she has cheated on you in the past then I'd have to ask why you are with her if you can't trust her anyway.
Happy problem solving...