CoRVeTTe6699
Don Juan
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should i let my girlfriend of 11th months go to bars/clubs without me?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Let her go?
- Thread starter CoRVeTTe6699
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
brenbaus
Senior Don Juan
if you are confident that she and you are going strong and she has attraction for you still, let her go, if you act jelous, she will leave you, let her go
BackToTheMack
Senior Don Juan
why is she going by her self anyway?
brenbaus
Senior Don Juan
He didnt say she was going byherself, I think she would go with some girlfriends or something, just like we have guys night out, they do have girls night outOriginally posted by BackToTheMack
why is she going by her self anyway?
CoRVeTTe6699
Don Juan
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she goes to the clubs off campus with her girlfriends where all the kids from our college goes. then theres guys there who know her and ****....everyone knows one another.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
brenbaus
Senior Don Juan
Just let her go dude, if you are really worried she is going to do something, talk to one of her girlfriends and ask her to keep tabs, if you know she is coming home to you, let her go
BackToTheMack
Senior Don Juan
What i ment by "by herself" was why is she goign without him.Originally posted by brenbaus
He didnt say she was going byherself, I think she would go with some girlfriends or something, just like we have guys night out, they do have girls night out
I would let her go do you trust her?
BackToTheMack
Senior Don Juan
Most likely the friend will tell the GF and she will be like "you dont trust me" ect ect. If you want to keep tabs you have to ask a guy u know that is going to be there.Originally posted by brenbaus
Just let her go dude, if you are really worried she is going to do something, talk to one of her girlfriends and ask her to keep tabs, if you know she is coming home to you, let her go
brenbaus
Senior Don Juan
true nuff, they do have a tendancy to tell each other what guys do to themOriginally posted by BackToTheMack
Most likely the friend will tell the GF and she will be like "you dont trust me" ect ect. If you want to keep tabs you have to ask a guy u know that is going to be there.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
What? So...you're girlfriend is no longer ever allowed to go out without you?! What kind of relationship is that? If you're relationship is in a place where you are worried about her cheating on you, then you've got bigger problems than that. You can't make women your doormat. Of course you should let her go. If she's going to go out and cheat on, she would have found another way to do it anyway. This crap about not letting her go is stupid.
Shoul you be allowed to go to a bar with your guy friends without her? OF COURSE. Are you going to bang the first chick that flirts with you at the bar? no.
Shoul you be allowed to go to a bar with your guy friends without her? OF COURSE. Are you going to bang the first chick that flirts with you at the bar? no.
RaWBLooD
Master Don Juan
for 3 reasonsOriginally posted by CoRVeTTe6699
should i let my girlfriend of 11th months go to bars/clubs without me?
- you can go to clubs without her with no questions asked
- if you control a person when not in such a relationship ( a relationship between a couple is not and should never be such a relationship )
- shes gonna go without you knowing and probably get laid with a guy just cause ur bein a fag about it.
and if u happen to break up
SO WHAT?
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
she can do whaveter she wants...short of cheating on you.
trust her.
trust her.
MindOverMatter
Master Don Juan
- Joined
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how often does she go?
if you dont let her go your gonna screw it up anyway!!!!!
no one likes to be controled, all the guys who tell u not to let her go are younger.... i've been through this a few times &
FACT: if you dont let her go out & experience it she will be missing a big part of what being young and alive is all about...she will hate you for that, prob leave you, and then have no BF & no reason not to go home with some random guy.
FACT: if you let her go you loose control, but how much control do you really have anyway? If she wants to have a 1 night stand or a piece on the side, she's gonna do it if you know about it or not.
this is the downside in falling for a chick!
no one likes to be controled, all the guys who tell u not to let her go are younger.... i've been through this a few times &
FACT: if you dont let her go out & experience it she will be missing a big part of what being young and alive is all about...she will hate you for that, prob leave you, and then have no BF & no reason not to go home with some random guy.
FACT: if you let her go you loose control, but how much control do you really have anyway? If she wants to have a 1 night stand or a piece on the side, she's gonna do it if you know about it or not.
this is the downside in falling for a chick!
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Lost In the Seas
Senior Don Juan
u two have been dating for almost a year now and u still don't trust her going out with her friends? Let her go as a test, if she doesn't cheat on you it means she's loyal, for now, and if she does cheat on u u will save urself a lot of effort and trouble by ending the relationship early.
For starters....you can't "let" or "not let" another person do something. It's up to them entirely whether they do something or not. You have no control over that and the younger you realize that the only person you can control is yourself the better off you'll be.
I think what you meant to ask is should you dump her or threaten to dump her if she goes out with her girlfriends without you going along. The answer to that is probably not. If she's never given you reason to not trust her then you have no valid reason to even be asking about this. Let's get to the real meat of the matter here...
Either you are so insecure that you feel threatened by your girlfriend being in the presence of other guys without you present or your girlfriend has cheated on you and given you reason to not trust her.
The solution will be found when you figure out the reason you felt compelled to ask this quesiton. If it's just an issue of you being insecure, then you need to get a grip on the urge to control and dictate where another person can and can't go if you are involved with them...that will destroy any relationship in no time at all. If you GENUINELY have reason not to trust her because she has cheated on you in the past then I'd have to ask why you are with her if you can't trust her anyway.
Happy problem solving...
I think what you meant to ask is should you dump her or threaten to dump her if she goes out with her girlfriends without you going along. The answer to that is probably not. If she's never given you reason to not trust her then you have no valid reason to even be asking about this. Let's get to the real meat of the matter here...
Either you are so insecure that you feel threatened by your girlfriend being in the presence of other guys without you present or your girlfriend has cheated on you and given you reason to not trust her.
The solution will be found when you figure out the reason you felt compelled to ask this quesiton. If it's just an issue of you being insecure, then you need to get a grip on the urge to control and dictate where another person can and can't go if you are involved with them...that will destroy any relationship in no time at all. If you GENUINELY have reason not to trust her because she has cheated on you in the past then I'd have to ask why you are with her if you can't trust her anyway.
Happy problem solving...