I legitimately need your help on this one. I accepted a new position, and they want to send me away for training 2,000 miles away for 2 months. This girl I've been seeing for about 6 months now has no idea, and I'm thinking of the best way to tell her. I leave in 3 weeks, so I want to tell her far enough in advance to seem plausible, but not too far that it'll make it awkward. I know I don't owe her anything but I actually really do care for her, and depending on what happens would maybe like to keep seeing her when I get back. Thoughts?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Leaving for 2 months
- Thread starter JonnyD123
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
wakingup
Don Juan
Are you in a committed relationship? If not, I'd just say that you'd like to pick back up where things left off in a couple months and you kind of have to "let go". If you are in a committed relationship (meaning, you've specifically stated in conversation that you are exclusive/bf/gf, whatever), then decide if you want her to come visit you during those two months and relay that to her.
I guess the issue is, if you want it to continue, then make plans for that however you feel right.
Yeah I like that. I was thinking more of the timing of when to tell her. Maybe post coitus. Thanks for the input.
wakingup
Don Juan
I think telling her sooner than later would make you look best. 3 weeks is coming up quick. As far as where to let her know, yeah, post coitus sounds pretty good.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
I don't know if associating your leaving with post-sex is a good idea. I wouldn't do it.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
parkthebus
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2015
- Messages
- 500
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- Age
- 39
Wouldn't tell her post sex; she might feel used. Just tell her what's happening. Don't say you want to keep in touch or anything. Don't change your behaviour at all. If she keeps in contact then you do the same.