I legitimately need your help on this one. I accepted a new position, and they want to send me away for training 2,000 miles away for 2 months. This girl I've been seeing for about 6 months now has no idea, and I'm thinking of the best way to tell her. I leave in 3 weeks, so I want to tell her far enough in advance to seem plausible, but not too far that it'll make it awkward. I know I don't owe her anything but I actually really do care for her, and depending on what happens would maybe like to keep seeing her when I get back. Thoughts?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Leaving for 2 months
- Thread starter JonnyD123
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
wakingup
Don Juan
Are you in a committed relationship? If not, I'd just say that you'd like to pick back up where things left off in a couple months and you kind of have to "let go". If you are in a committed relationship (meaning, you've specifically stated in conversation that you are exclusive/bf/gf, whatever), then decide if you want her to come visit you during those two months and relay that to her.
I guess the issue is, if you want it to continue, then make plans for that however you feel right.
Yeah I like that. I was thinking more of the timing of when to tell her. Maybe post coitus. Thanks for the input.
wakingup
Don Juan
I think telling her sooner than later would make you look best. 3 weeks is coming up quick. As far as where to let her know, yeah, post coitus sounds pretty good.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
I don't know if associating your leaving with post-sex is a good idea. I wouldn't do it.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
parkthebus
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2015
- Messages
- 500
- Reaction score
- 148
- Age
- 39
Wouldn't tell her post sex; she might feel used. Just tell her what's happening. Don't say you want to keep in touch or anything. Don't change your behaviour at all. If she keeps in contact then you do the same.