I legitimately need your help on this one. I accepted a new position, and they want to send me away for training 2,000 miles away for 2 months. This girl I've been seeing for about 6 months now has no idea, and I'm thinking of the best way to tell her. I leave in 3 weeks, so I want to tell her far enough in advance to seem plausible, but not too far that it'll make it awkward. I know I don't owe her anything but I actually really do care for her, and depending on what happens would maybe like to keep seeing her when I get back. Thoughts?
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Leaving for 2 months
- Thread starter JonnyD123
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
wakingup
Don Juan
Are you in a committed relationship? If not, I'd just say that you'd like to pick back up where things left off in a couple months and you kind of have to "let go". If you are in a committed relationship (meaning, you've specifically stated in conversation that you are exclusive/bf/gf, whatever), then decide if you want her to come visit you during those two months and relay that to her.
I guess the issue is, if you want it to continue, then make plans for that however you feel right.
Yeah I like that. I was thinking more of the timing of when to tell her. Maybe post coitus. Thanks for the input.
wakingup
Don Juan
I think telling her sooner than later would make you look best. 3 weeks is coming up quick. As far as where to let her know, yeah, post coitus sounds pretty good.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
I don't know if associating your leaving with post-sex is a good idea. I wouldn't do it.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
parkthebus
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2015
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- 39
Wouldn't tell her post sex; she might feel used. Just tell her what's happening. Don't say you want to keep in touch or anything. Don't change your behaviour at all. If she keeps in contact then you do the same.