I legitimately need your help on this one. I accepted a new position, and they want to send me away for training 2,000 miles away for 2 months. This girl I've been seeing for about 6 months now has no idea, and I'm thinking of the best way to tell her. I leave in 3 weeks, so I want to tell her far enough in advance to seem plausible, but not too far that it'll make it awkward. I know I don't owe her anything but I actually really do care for her, and depending on what happens would maybe like to keep seeing her when I get back. Thoughts?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Leaving for 2 months
- Thread starter JonnyD123
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
wakingup
Don Juan
Are you in a committed relationship? If not, I'd just say that you'd like to pick back up where things left off in a couple months and you kind of have to "let go". If you are in a committed relationship (meaning, you've specifically stated in conversation that you are exclusive/bf/gf, whatever), then decide if you want her to come visit you during those two months and relay that to her.
I guess the issue is, if you want it to continue, then make plans for that however you feel right.
Yeah I like that. I was thinking more of the timing of when to tell her. Maybe post coitus. Thanks for the input.
wakingup
Don Juan
I think telling her sooner than later would make you look best. 3 weeks is coming up quick. As far as where to let her know, yeah, post coitus sounds pretty good.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
I don't know if associating your leaving with post-sex is a good idea. I wouldn't do it.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
parkthebus
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2015
- Messages
- 500
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- Age
- 39
Wouldn't tell her post sex; she might feel used. Just tell her what's happening. Don't say you want to keep in touch or anything. Don't change your behaviour at all. If she keeps in contact then you do the same.