"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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leading women

pyros

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I went to watch a show with this female friend of mine who is 23. We were getting to the place and she was "leading us" saying where to turn, which street to take, etc.. We argued a bit about which way was faster, but ok.

She wanted to sit really close to the stage, I didn't mind, but I did not have the urge to sit that close, so we sat where she wanted.

When it finished, we went to grab a bite. We were walking down the street and she suggested another route cause it was a "shortcut", I declined. After a few minutes she suggested another "shortcut", started to complain so I agreed.

Then we saw some restaurant and I suggested to sit there but she said she did not like that type of food, so we kept walking. In the end we agreed to sit in another place that we both liked, after she rejected a few more options...

Later on, when we had to go home, I was not totally sure which way to take so she suggested one, I checked it on my phone and I said that we should take a different one. She complained and insisted that she was right. I started to get nervous cause I was not sure. Anyway, I said: "we're going this way", she complained again but she followed me.
In the end I confused some street with another one, but we got to my car anyway.

On the way back, she had to question if we were going the right route eventhough I was damn sure cause I go that way everyday...


So, my question is, should I lead all the time? In this case I got annoyed because she wanted to lead us all the time. Other women just follow my lead and do not complain.

I have to point that she is just my friend, no plate, no sex, just friendship.

P.S.
I think I am too flexible, you know? cause I do not really care were to sit, or if we take this street or the other one which takes us 30 seconds less.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Bingo-Player

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i think your reading too far into it

that whole date just sounds full of pointless bickering

enforce the decisions that actually matter , leave her fuss over the ones that do not
 

Tictac

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If this woman is your friend, practice leading women when you're out with her. She sounds like a control freak. So as you do better with her, dealing with other women should be easy.

They telling her 'I got this' when she starts pushing. But make sure that you do 'got this'. Leading implies know in what you are doing. I'd you lead and get lost, you are not leading.
 

rsox28

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I wouldn't worry about it either way. Sounds like she was having a bad evening or something, unless that's really her personality all the time.

But, it is a good question overall. I've known some real flakes that don't want you to do anything for them, want to control how things are done, then turn around and complain that you're not being assertive enough. On really minor, dumb crap too. Years ago I opened a door for this chick as we were on our way out to lunch, and you'd have thought I just took away their right to vote. 'I can open my own door, thank you very much.' My most recent ex objected to me paying when we went out, along with other stuff. They're nuts, the lot of them.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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pyros said:
I have to point that she is just my friend, no plate, no sex, just friendship.
Glad she's your friend; would hate to see how she'd treat you if she weren't.
 

penkitten

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Glad she's your friend; would hate to see how she'd treat you if she weren't.
Where have you been hiding?
 

logicallefty

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Could always say "you seem to be a pig headed bruit just like me. How about we settle this decision with a coin toss. Heads we go my way, tails we don't go yours". Joke about it then do a real coin toss and act on what it says.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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