"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

leading women

pyros

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 31, 2011
Messages
1,699
Reaction score
206
I went to watch a show with this female friend of mine who is 23. We were getting to the place and she was "leading us" saying where to turn, which street to take, etc.. We argued a bit about which way was faster, but ok.

She wanted to sit really close to the stage, I didn't mind, but I did not have the urge to sit that close, so we sat where she wanted.

When it finished, we went to grab a bite. We were walking down the street and she suggested another route cause it was a "shortcut", I declined. After a few minutes she suggested another "shortcut", started to complain so I agreed.

Then we saw some restaurant and I suggested to sit there but she said she did not like that type of food, so we kept walking. In the end we agreed to sit in another place that we both liked, after she rejected a few more options...

Later on, when we had to go home, I was not totally sure which way to take so she suggested one, I checked it on my phone and I said that we should take a different one. She complained and insisted that she was right. I started to get nervous cause I was not sure. Anyway, I said: "we're going this way", she complained again but she followed me.
In the end I confused some street with another one, but we got to my car anyway.

On the way back, she had to question if we were going the right route eventhough I was damn sure cause I go that way everyday...


So, my question is, should I lead all the time? In this case I got annoyed because she wanted to lead us all the time. Other women just follow my lead and do not complain.

I have to point that she is just my friend, no plate, no sex, just friendship.

P.S.
I think I am too flexible, you know? cause I do not really care were to sit, or if we take this street or the other one which takes us 30 seconds less.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Bingo-Player

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2014
Messages
3,639
Reaction score
4,367
Location
uk
i think your reading too far into it

that whole date just sounds full of pointless bickering

enforce the decisions that actually matter , leave her fuss over the ones that do not
 

Tictac

Banned
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Messages
3,668
Reaction score
1,244
Location
North America, probably an airport
If this woman is your friend, practice leading women when you're out with her. She sounds like a control freak. So as you do better with her, dealing with other women should be easy.

They telling her 'I got this' when she starts pushing. But make sure that you do 'got this'. Leading implies know in what you are doing. I'd you lead and get lost, you are not leading.
 

rsox28

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 15, 2015
Messages
12
Reaction score
0
I wouldn't worry about it either way. Sounds like she was having a bad evening or something, unless that's really her personality all the time.

But, it is a good question overall. I've known some real flakes that don't want you to do anything for them, want to control how things are done, then turn around and complain that you're not being assertive enough. On really minor, dumb crap too. Years ago I opened a door for this chick as we were on our way out to lunch, and you'd have thought I just took away their right to vote. 'I can open my own door, thank you very much.' My most recent ex objected to me paying when we went out, along with other stuff. They're nuts, the lot of them.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
pyros said:
I have to point that she is just my friend, no plate, no sex, just friendship.
Glad she's your friend; would hate to see how she'd treat you if she weren't.
 

penkitten

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2001
Messages
8,256
Reaction score
236
Age
49
Location
at our house
Francisco d'Anconia said:
Glad she's your friend; would hate to see how she'd treat you if she weren't.
Where have you been hiding?
 

logicallefty

Moderator
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
6,000
Reaction score
5,151
Age
52
Location
Northeast Florida, USA
Could always say "you seem to be a pig headed bruit just like me. How about we settle this decision with a coin toss. Heads we go my way, tails we don't go yours". Joke about it then do a real coin toss and act on what it says.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Top