"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Kissing on the first date

obti

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I know this girl likes me and we went on a date last week however i didn't feel a moment when it felt right to kiss her. This worries me.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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smooth guy

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You didn't feel like kissing her or you couldn't find the right moment to kiss her?
 

Sean Stock

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You always kiss the first date or your ****ed. You were just nervous. The moment existed there more than once.
 

Stuntmann

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You are the momement. No such thing as perfect moment, you make them happen.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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obti said:
I know this girl likes me and we went on a date last week however i didn't feel a moment when it felt right to kiss her. This worries me.
You should be more concerned about whether there will be another date where you could have another chance.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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jamescr73

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I went on a date with a chick like 4 months ago, and everything really good. I could see that she was interested in me, we had a lot of fun, and at the end of the night i went for the kiss close. She turned her head and said that she didnt kiss on the first date. Now im 27 and she is 24 and I said to her "what, are we in the 7th grade?" so yeah, she never called me after that, and when i would see her at the gym (where i met her), and at bars, she would act like i was the biggest a$shole on the planet.

But I always try to kiss close on the first date, and succeed 95% of the time. This was a first for me where the chick told me she didnt kiss on the first date, because in the back of my mind, Ive F closed on the first date and this chick must be a prude or something.
 

Obsidian

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you don't have to kiss on the first date. Imo, it's better not to, but it depends on what you're looking for and how horish the girl is.

If you've done things correctly, your first date should be an inexpensive 45 minutes at a coffee shop, in which case a kiss would probably be awkward anyway.
 

Monkey

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If shes all over you, DON'T kiss her - it'll drive her completely insane and set you apart from all the other guys.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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The Loacker said:
Yeah I prefer coffee shops for first dates, so a kiss doesn't really fit. You could do it if you really wanted to, I guess.
It's easy when you are in one of those dark, eclectic, independent shops. I'd avoid Starbucks.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Obsidian

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after 45 minutes?! talk about hormongering. Why don't you just tell her to strip down while you're at it.
 
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