"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Kim Jong Un's SMV right now

Scormus

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Politically incorrect as it may be, are there now millions of women round the world rubbing their ****s to him after that brazen power display.

SMV even in the US/UK if he chose to date must be huge. The ultimate bad boy and all that power and money too.

Yes I know he isn't Pitt or Clooney but he should get more action precisely because he is a pariah to the western world.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Solomon

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Scormus said:
Politically incorrect as it may be, are there now millions of women round the world rubbing their ****s to him after that brazen power display.

SMV even in the US/UK if he chose to date must be huge. The ultimate bad boy and all that power and money too.

Yes I know he isn't Pitt or Clooney but he should get more action precisely because he is a pariah to the western world.
Stay Safe OP
 

pierce_r

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Colbert nailed it on Kim Jong-Un:

"It's tough enough being the only fat kid in your class in school. Can you imagine what it's like being the only fat kid in your whole country?"
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Scormus,
"Politically incorrect as it may be, are there now millions of women round the world rubbing their ****s to him" Yeah and how will they feel when they unwrap the big prize and find his little winKle is no bigger than a shortened marker pen LOL !
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Sharkbait,
"seriously?"...never been more serious,they are amazing...However to give you something to think about...My Chinese F'buddy assures me the hottest svex she ever enjoyed was with a Man so endowed.....As an Old Barmaid in the Territory told me years ago...Scarra if my ear has an itch,do I use my thumb?
 

MatureDJ

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I have an English teacher colleague who was in some small city in South Korea, and he tried to go to the brothel in his town, and they told him in broken English:

No no, you big dĭck!
:crackup:
 
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